Consider this my advance directive. I want to be buried with my awesome travel mug. It came from Starbucks, but I don’t hold that against it. I call it Edward because it is cold and sparkly on the outside, but it makes me all warm on the inside. Chew on that, haters.
Okay, technically, it’s my husband’s cup. But if he’s burying his wife, what kind of selfish turd would he look like if he refused a little request like a coffee mug?
I was going to be cremated, but this cup weighs something like two pounds. When my ashes are scattered in Matanzas Bay, I would hate for that heavy chunk of melted metal to fall out of the sky and kill manatee or a mermaid.
Look, but don't touch. It's mine. At least it will be in the afterlife.
So please, please bury me with it. Please. But not until I’m dead. Thanks!
LKD
November 16, 2011 at 8:41 am
I’m jealous. Note to self: get travel mug that doesn’t leak!
becomingcliche
November 16, 2011 at 8:47 am
Spend the extra money to get a good one. This one is not only leak-proof, but it keeps coffee hot. Even in cold weather. Like the time I left it in the car in below-freezing weather for an hour and a half and came back to find the coffee still warm. And it would take a bullet for me. I know. I asked.
Byron MacLymont
November 16, 2011 at 9:24 am
You might also consider some sort of legal document, should the marriage ever sour, to get custody of the mug. But before that, say discouraging things about it so he doesn’t fight you over it. Never hurts to be sure.
breezyk
November 16, 2011 at 9:42 am
bahahaha “I call it Edward because it is cold and sparkly on the outside, but it makes me all warm on the inside” –> amazing line!
Lame Adventures Woman
November 16, 2011 at 10:09 am
If you’re being cremated, possibly your mug could serve as your urn?
becomingcliche
November 16, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Why didn’t I think of that? I should have my face etched on the side.
Transitioning Mom
November 16, 2011 at 11:34 am
LOL! Edward–double LOL! Mine looks exactly the same, kind of…it’s red–like my laptop, and my planner, and my hair. Catching a theme here? But, mine has been claimed by my darling husband “since he’s the one with the commute.” I’m gonna share this post with him and let him know I want it back for my last “big commute.”
omawarisan
November 16, 2011 at 11:46 am
What I’d you we’re cremated and stored in the mug? So much cooler than an urn!
becomingcliche
November 16, 2011 at 1:34 pm
I do hope he can squeeze all of me in there. I like the thought of being stored in a mug. Like “I Dream of Jeanie.”
motherofwonder
November 16, 2011 at 1:00 pm
This is hilarious! This morning (before sitting down to read the blogs) as I was cleaning out my trusty coffee cup (it’s huge, like 2 cups worth) that my hubby brought me back from a deployment to Japan, I was thinking… I should tell him I want to be buried with this cup! Glad to see I’m not alone in my desires
Kimberly Pugliano
November 16, 2011 at 2:14 pm
What if you aren’t ‘technically’ dead but you have a machine breathing for you? Can we bury you then? And can I have that big black thing in the background? I don’t know what it is but I have a sneaking suspicion it’s cooler than mine.
becomingcliche
November 16, 2011 at 2:17 pm
That’s the toaster oven. Sure, I’ll leave it to you. You want I should clean out the crumbs first, or will my old toast serve to remind you of me?
And this is why I run my advance directives out for you, my friends, first. You guys can help me spot the loopholes.
Laura
November 17, 2011 at 6:23 am
If you do have your ashes stored in the mug, you should instruct your husband to keep it somewhere other than in the kitchen. Because if he’s anything like me, he’d eventually wind up pouring coffee into it without thinking. And when I say “anything like me”, I mean “not fully aware of my surroundings until after I’ve had my coffee”, not “prone to desecrating the ashes of loved ones”.
becomingcliche
November 17, 2011 at 7:02 am
I think he will keep it in his sock drawer. He has a fear that adding coffee will reconstitute me.