I am pretty sure that this parade was in my honor. Even though it was held two weeks before I was Freshly Pressed.It is common knowledge that they hone psychic abilities in band camp.
.
Yesterday, I had a blog featured on Freshly Pressed. I was stunned. First of all, because when I started blogging, my goal was to make FP by my birthday. I only missed it by one day. Secondly, because I couldn’t believe they had chosen that post as my best. Why not this one? But whatevs.
My life has become a crazy circus since receiving the honor. Here’s the wacky stuff that has happened:
I have been bombarded with requests for my autograph. UPS guy, cashier at Wal-mart, teachers. It’s nuts. How do these people know?
Someone has already approached me about the rights to my life’s story. Like I’m going to share my socioeconomic background and ages of minor children in my home for a lousy $5 Wal-mart gift card.
The paparazzi are already stalking me: Someone was going through my trash last night. Trying to get the goods on me, I am sure. Very clever to disguise themselves as garbage collectors.
I woke to find myself in bed with someone other than my husband. Who knew fame would get so wild so quickly. Of course it was Squish, and he was warming his ice-cold feet on my leg, but I prefer to think that he was actually basking in the glow of my fame.
I was greeted with applause when I came out of the bathroom this morning. Yes, Squish again. I’m pretty sure he was saying “Awesome blog post, Mom!” and not “Way to make it to the potty in time!” And he offered me a treat. He might be my biggest fan.
My financial advisor has been very involved in everything I do. She’s right at my heels, and she is oh, so enthusiastic. I think she senses a major financial boom as a result of my newest honor. I know it’s not because she’s hungry and I forgot to feed her. I don’t think…
But it’s not all applause and potty treats, friends. Sometimes fame turns ugly. As I was returning home after walking my son to school, I saw it. My heart raced as I ran my hand along the brand-new dent in my husband’s car door. On the passenger’s side. That dent was meant for me.
So there you have it. Be careful what you wish for. Being Freshly Pressed is a magic monkey paw. Use with caution.
notquiteold
December 15, 2011 at 9:09 am
I’m thrilled for you, and I can’t wait until my turn. .. please tell me that you won’t end up on Celebrity Rehab…
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 9:17 am
I hope it is your turn soon! I may end up in celebrity rehab.I am overdosing on peanut brittle.
The Background Story
December 15, 2011 at 9:24 am
But it’s not all applause and potty treats, friends. Sometimes fame turns ugly. As I was returning home after walking my son to school, I saw it. My heart raced as I ran my hand along the brand-new dent in my husband’s car door. On the passenger’s side. That dent was meant for me.
—Oh, this is really scary. Now I’m not sure if I wanna be on FP.(LOL)
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 9:25 am
It’s something to think about. I think I may need to hire a body guard.
Lisha
December 15, 2011 at 9:26 am
I LOVED that post. When they make the movie about your life can I please have a small role? I promise not to sing any of these songs…
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 9:27 am
If you are not the stalker who dinged the car door, you may play the role of the postman. Not a lot of dialog, but the uniform is so cool.
writeonereallife
December 15, 2011 at 9:39 am
HA! Hey, I want to be famous …
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 9:49 am
Monkey’s paw, my friend. Caution.
Transitioning Mom
December 15, 2011 at 9:43 am
WAHOO!!! Way to go! Don’t forget us little people….promise…?
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 9:45 am
I could never forget the Little.People. They are colonizing my living room as we speak. The little Noah’s Ark is my favorite.
Gilly
December 15, 2011 at 9:45 am
Congrats again!!
And so fab that your town threw a parade in your honor just weeks before you were Freshly Pressed. Lots of celebrations over in becomingcliche town! You got the key to the town too, right?
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 9:46 am
This is the digital age. It was not so much a key as one of the little swipey things that they use for motel rooms. It gets me into the library.
booksnob
December 15, 2011 at 10:02 am
I’m still waiting for my peanut brittle. <.<
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 11:58 am
Since the postman can now locate your house…
themiddlestsister
December 15, 2011 at 10:10 am
Haha! I told my husband yesterday “Today has been a stellar day! First, toddler willingly took a bath, then she pooped in the potty instead of the floor and now this! Freshly Pressed! Everything’s coming up Nicki!”
Congrats to you!
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 11:58 am
That was my day, too. FP was the icing on an already marvelous cake of a day. So happy to see you up there, too. I adore your blog!
Kimberly Pugliano
December 15, 2011 at 10:17 am
You are my hero. I left the dot com of WP before I got the honor of being Freshly Pressed because I was afraid of what the fame would do to me. I’m still mostly unknown and have to beg people to read my posts and for what?
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 11:57 am
At least you know no one is planning to do in Hot Joe’s car door… There’s that, at least!
Sandra Parsons
December 15, 2011 at 10:44 am
Well, congrats on making 40 with your sanity mostly intact and on getting freshly pressed. I have both to accomplish yet but I’m getting there. In any case you have yet another new follower, maybe I can learn a thing or two from you. Like how to dodge all those annoying paparazzi.
adalamar
December 15, 2011 at 11:19 am
Great post. Nothing like a giggle on a Thursday norning. And congrats on your honor…Iam honred just be to be able to leave a comment and bask in your glow.
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 11:59 am
I am happy to share the glow. As long as frozen feet are kept where they belong.
mommywantsatimeout
December 15, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Congratulations! I hope your newfound fame doesn’t distract you from your true purpose, that is, writing blog posts that make me laugh every day!
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Thank you for the clarity. I thought my true purpose was to serve as a cautionary tale.
audreygjohnson
December 15, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Congrats on being FP! It’s my goal as well. You have another devoted follower in me – after seeing your blog on FP, I’m hooked. It will be my daily dose of laughter – just what the doctor ordered. Way to go!!
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Thank you very much!
The Byronic Man
December 15, 2011 at 1:28 pm
Isn’t it weird, getting freshly pressed? Like at first it seems as if something’s wrong with your Dashboard?
Also, people can have VERY strong feelings about whatever you’re writing about. I had one on going to the dentist that turned into an impassioned referendum on flossing in the comments section.
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Flossing is such a hot button issue. How could anyone bring it up in comments? So rude!
My favorites are the spammers who are trying to get their comments approved so they can use my blog to sell septic tanks later. I really feel like I have arrived.
ceciliag
December 15, 2011 at 1:34 pm
So exciting that you were freshly pressed and how did you manage to time it so well! I hope you will still remember us, The Little People! c
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 1:36 pm
It totally capped the best Tortoise day ever when I came home and found my stats through the roof. Big fun! I hope that doesn’t mean I have peaked out.
Patrick
December 15, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Ack! How exciting! Way to go!
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:14 am
It is pretty exciting. Your turn is coming. Without a doubt.
Twyla Lively
December 15, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Congrats! Also glad you made it to potty in time.
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Thanks! And I was, too. Sometimes you never know…
Laura
December 15, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. And on making it to the potty on time. I’m proud of you.
becomingcliche
December 15, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Thank you! I do myself proud sometimes. The potty treats make it totally worth it.
angrymiddleagewoman
December 15, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Ahh – the price of fame. You should only go out wearing dark sunglasses from now on.
I told you having me follow your blog was a guanteed way to get Freshly Pressed. I take ALL the credit. I’m sure it had nothing to do with your fantastic writing skills and witty humor. Um about the dent . . . it might have occured when I was throwing fruit at you because you know as happy as I am for you, there is that jealousy part. Congrats again and way to follow up up with another FP worthy post!
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:13 am
I will give you all the credit. As long as I get a cut when you are FP’d.
Rae
December 15, 2011 at 4:54 pm
It’s never the post you want to be Freshly Pressed, but it’s nice getting it none-the-less.
And that last comment about the dent in the car was hilarious.
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:13 am
My husband didn’t think the car-door thing was all that funny. Weird. It’s a giant ding with wheels, so I’m not sure why he’s bothered.
Butterfingers for Breakfast
December 15, 2011 at 6:04 pm
congratulations on getting freshly pressed! Sorry I missed it! I have been a little out of the blogging world…I feel like I am always saying that
But you are funny and always a good read so a rightly choice to be freshly pressed!!! Keep on blogging 
I love to read them!
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:05 am
Thank you!
Chris Sheridan
December 15, 2011 at 6:46 pm
Well I can see that getting freshly pressed has not caused you any fear of post success failure, or virtual stage fright, because here you are, just as funny and entertaining as ever! Congratulations!
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:12 am
I didn’t think of stage fright. Until now. Oh, the pressure! But it’s Friday. I have two days off to get back in the saddle!
the waiting
December 15, 2011 at 7:45 pm
Yay! I was so happy to see that you’d received some recognition a little more substantial than my awarding you with the VBAward, although I won’t lie, it did feel kind of good to know that my taste coincides with that of the Frehly Pressed gods. Enjoy the limelight and if things get a little out of control, remember to Just Say No. Congrats, my friends!
the waiting
December 15, 2011 at 7:47 pm
*friend. You don’t appear to have multiplied.
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:07 am
I did. There’s a little known cloning project here in my house. Pretty soon I will be available for purchase.
speaker7
December 15, 2011 at 7:53 pm
As spiderman’s uncle said “with great power comes great responsibility.” You’re at a crossroads…you could go the way of Lindsay Lohan or you could go the way of….um…..some celebrity who is not awful, but at the moment I’m at a loss to come up with a name.
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 9:57 am
I am sure there is at least one not-awful celebrity. At least one whose awful is hidden from the public for the moment.
Anna
December 15, 2011 at 8:18 pm
Before we know it, you’ll be coming out of your home wearing a huge pair of sunglasses and a scarf wrapped around your head, trying to pass off as anybody but yourself. Lol. I know I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: Congrats!
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:08 am
I asked Santa for a giant scarf for Christmas. And maybe a Blues Brothers mask.
nevercontrary
December 15, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Congrats !!
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:11 am
Thank you! Pretty exciting stuff. Except for the hate on my car.
Angie Z.
December 15, 2011 at 9:23 pm
You were FP’d? Where the hell was I? Congratulations! I have to comb back through and see which one. I’m so happy for you! You deserve that parade and you also deserve some Long John Silver’s, over there across the road from the marching band. Frozen fish sticks. Mmmmmmm. Now THAT’s fresh.
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:10 am
Nothing says never-ending fame like frozen fish sticks. Unless it’s hushpuppies.
whatimeant2say
December 15, 2011 at 10:45 pm
Congratulations! I am hoping to be FP’ed sometime before I die. I try not to have too high expectations. Have you hired a publicist yet? You want to head off those tabloids at the pass, you know.
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:08 am
I am currently feeding information to the tabloids.
Michael Cargill
December 16, 2011 at 5:30 am
I am in a band and I can confirm that we do develop psychic abilities over time. I am the longest-serving member in my band so my abilities are more developed than the rest, but as I am only the drummer no-one ever listens to me.
The parade was done in honour of one of the local dinner ladies instead.
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 9:36 am
They should totally listen to the drummer. That’s who they’re supposed to be marching to. Unless it’s a different drummer.
diggreddit
December 16, 2011 at 6:06 am
Thank You! …Sometimes you never know…
alanschuyler
December 16, 2011 at 6:12 am
Congrats on a well deserved honor. Next will be an appearance on the Daily Show! Write a book before the 15 minutes are up!!!
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 10:09 am
I want to be on the Daily Show! New goal for 2012!
dumbmom
December 16, 2011 at 6:56 am
I’ve never been freshly pressed before. I’m feeling insanely jealous. Having someone dig through my trash that isn’t 4-legged and rabid sounds glamorous!
becomingcliche
December 16, 2011 at 9:48 am
It truly is a glamorous life. And the people tossing money at me as I walk down the street is special, too. Maybe I dreamed that last part.
asoulwalker
December 16, 2011 at 1:50 pm
I can’t believe you just mentioned the magic monkey paw… tears of of nostalgic summer-camp-bliss are beginning to leak out of a couple of the holes in my face.
lifeloveandbaby
December 19, 2011 at 1:17 am
This post was great but I enjoyed your comment replies even more. I’m really looking forward to catching up on what I’ve missed thus far!
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 8:15 am
Thank you so much for reading!