I know now why middle aged women begin to wear questionable clothing. Sequins, stretch pants (hopefully not the same outfit), weird jeans, etc. It’s not because they’ve suddenly gone blind or lost all fashion sense. It’s because their teenage daughters have begun raiding their wardrobe. These women haven’t given up on looking good, they’re just desperate to have something in their closet that will still be there when they go looking for it, something their teen wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. I can now relate.
She’s not after my jewelry, I know that. There’s only one thing of value, and I’m not sure she’s all that interested in a macaroni necklace. And I don’t worry about my jeans. She weighs about 12 pounds with rocks in her pockets. I weigh closer to 15 pounds, you know. And she’s not interested in my makeup. Because I don’t actually have any. Well, I do. but a half-tube of mascara I got free from Earth Fare last year and some eye shadow left over from the last century don’t seem to speak to her. Weird, I know. The things that are disappearing from under my nose are my tops.
I give her credit. She does ask before she borrows. Except for my Birkenstock clogs, which I know are hidden away in her room somewhere, and I will find them or die trying. I told you Birkenstocks are cool! I digress. She asks. But it still bugs me. She raided the storage shelves yesterday and emerged bearing an armload of treasures, which, to add insult to injury, she proceeded to model for me. It is really unfair that they all look so much better on her. They were are mine. The really cute oversize sweater makes her look like an adorable little elf. The same garment makes me look like the Michelin man. The old sweat shirt makes her look all cozy and comfortable. It makes me look like I’ve given up on life.
Fine. She can have them. I can’t wear them again knowing how good they could look (but don’t). And she uses lots of products from the Lotion and Smelly Stuff Works, so she has effectively scent-marked all my sweaters. We know I won’t be wearing those again.
It’s not all bad, I guess. In a way, it’s validating. My taste can’t be too far off if my kid wants to wear steal my clothes. And there’s plenty more where that came from. All I have to do is go back to the thrift store to replenish the wardrobe. But this time, she went too far. She asked to wear my Slytherin t-shirt.
Is nothing sacred?
She has yet to ask to borrow THIS sweater. It is made from genuine boomkin pelt, I think.
ceciliag
December 19, 2011 at 10:06 am
I know exactly what you are saying, and as to the scent Marking!! Well! I am with you sister, My daughter has been borrowing my clothes for so long that i have begun to borrow back, this is fun. And now that she lives in a different country to me, she will call me as her plane flies out and says Oh did i tell you i have borrowed that v necked, cashmere, baby blue top that matches my eyes.. and she is talking about her eyes not mine! Oh did i forget to tell you?, oh have to run, we are boarding!! c
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 10:08 am
Thank you for the warning. I will either never allow her to leave the country, or I will lock up all my good stuff when she is out on her own and comes home to visit.
ceciliag
December 19, 2011 at 1:55 pm
I recommend searching too. !
Sandra Parsons
December 19, 2011 at 10:14 am
Ha, and here I thought middle-aged women dress like that to keep up with their daughters. Who knew. Thanks for clarifying that.
Now I can rest assured that my wardrobe is safe for I only have a boy (for now). Unfortunately he finds my one item of make-up (a black eyeliner) quite enticing. Pun alert: That’s where I draw the line hehehe.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:33 pm
My smallest son likes to borrow my bra. Nothing appears to be off-limits in my house.
booksnob
December 19, 2011 at 10:16 am
Bahahahaha, I make my oldest wear a Muggle shirt when I’m mad at him.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Too mean! Too far! Hufflepuff, but never muggle. No, wait…
artjen1971
December 19, 2011 at 11:51 am
“Is nothing sacred?” I credit my mom with that one–oh if I had a nickel for everytime she said that to me–I’d be a millionare. Now if I also had a nickel for everytime I have now said it–I’b be a billionare! Why haven’t I been givin these elusive nickels? IS NOTHING SACRED?!
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Nothing is sacred, apparently. Except my Slytherin t-shirt.
ethelthedean
December 19, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Love it! I used to raid my mom’s closet when I did costumes for my school’s theatre company. I would never tell her and then she would come to shows and be all, “that’s my skirt. Those are my pants! Half this bloody cast is outfitted with my clothing!!”
Good times.
I really love that boomkin sweater because it totally looks like what I picture Swedish film directors would wear. You should call it your Bergman look (but then your daughter may want it.)
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:31 pm
If I call it my Bergman look, maybe she will take it off my hands. I am pretty sure something died to produce that sweater, and I hate to throw it away.
angrymiddleagewoman
December 19, 2011 at 7:49 pm
THAT comment had me rolling on the floor! Keep the sweater if only to hide the clothes you really want!
kathryntjones
December 19, 2011 at 12:08 pm
I’ll be visiting my 86-year-old mother in Pittsburgh in about ten days. I’ll be traveling light, knowing I can borrow a sweater or pjs when I get there. You’re never too old to borrow from mom, though it takes on a different slant in adulthood!
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 2:10 pm
I never thought of borrowing anything, myself. Maybe I need to raid my mom’s closet when I go visit on Wednesday.
thebigbookofdating
December 19, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Hahaha beyond loving the post I love that sweater I bought a pile of them in Peru (:
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 4:12 pm
They are definitely warm. Just not so very pretty.
notquiteold
December 19, 2011 at 1:02 pm
My niece once called me and asked me if she could borrow some clothes. She wanted to be a hippie for Halloween. She must have me mixed up with someone else.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:30 pm
She must. It was not at all a commentary on a sense of style. The Halloween part hurts, though.
correctionsandclarifications
December 19, 2011 at 1:43 pm
The truth has been spoken here! I have solved this problem for myself by being short and breeding two tall teenagers.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 2:08 pm
I should have started with better genes. I will know next time.
The Byronic Man
December 19, 2011 at 2:47 pm
“The old sweat shirt makes her look all cozy and comfortable. It makes me look like I’ve given up on life.”
Awesome. Perfectly said.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:37 pm
It’s a constant reminder of what an old sweat-shirt COULD be.
notesfromrumbleycottage
December 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm
My daughter is only ten, I am not there yet. But I do remember doing the same to my mother.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:28 pm
I remember swiping a pair of socks once. But that is all. That I will admit to.
motherofwonder
December 19, 2011 at 3:07 pm
I can so recall going through my mom’s boxes of clothes she’d saved from her growing up years. bell bottoms and peasant pants. I thought they were so cool. I’m not sure my daughter will feel the same way about my clothes. I’m not sure if i should be relieved or disappointed in that fact.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:27 pm
The 70′s came back, so maybe by the time yours is old enough, the clothing of today will have returned. Again.
greengeekgirl
December 19, 2011 at 3:14 pm
OMG, you referenced boomkins. I love you even more.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:16 pm
It doesn’t bother you that I appear to have skinned one? It’s a hand-me-down. I swear!
the waiting
December 19, 2011 at 3:33 pm
What a compliment that she wants to borrow your stuff! I would’ve died before wearing my mom’s clothes when I was a kid. She was always trying to get me into her Talbot’s wear when I was fourteen and I thusly always wanted to stab myself.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:34 pm
You have designs on my Slytherin t-shirt, too, don’t you. Did my daughter put you up to this?
I did buy her a Talbott’s down ski vest last year. Perhaps she is exacting her revenge.
the domestic fringe
December 19, 2011 at 3:35 pm
So funny. My daughter is already trying to steal my shoes and my jewelry and she’s only ten. I know it’s all down hill from here.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:36 pm
It’s never too early to start buying sequined Elvis t-shirts.
santacruzdailymuse
December 19, 2011 at 3:43 pm
Absolutely hilarious – again! I have a daughter who stays away from my closet but loves my makeup mirror (yes, we are sharing a tiny space around this makeup mirror since she’s home for winter break), makeup, tweezers, my socks, tights, and scarves. I wear mismatched socks to work and camouflage by wearing boots, plus the non-tweezed mustache is truly a good look! Gotta love her.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm
I’m afraid that I, too, will get whatever is left over from her pilfering. I want my Birks back!
Stephen Haggerty
December 19, 2011 at 5:12 pm
1) I’d say it’s a matter of time before she’s takin’ that boomkin sweater- that thing is sweet
2) Believe it or not I have this same problem with my wife! I’ve gotten to the point where I’m having to rescue clothes from her closet on a daily basis. And no, I’m not a cross dresser- they’re all men’s clothes. Although, on that note, maybe I need to get some super manly clothes, like all 100% cow hide or something- that’d do the trick.
3) Thanks for the post! Your thoughts are always entertaining.
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 8:53 pm
My daughter said she’s pretty sure that sweater is made out of Yeti, so she wants nothing to do with it.
I do raid my husband’s stuff from time to time. What can I say? He has some cool sweatshirts. Or sweatshirts, period.
bestbathroombooks
December 19, 2011 at 5:14 pm
No wonder. That sweater is bomb.
Les
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 8:51 pm
Or should be bombed. I haven’t decided yet.
apronheadlilly
December 19, 2011 at 5:49 pm
It helps to birth boys!
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 8:49 pm
My three year old son is the one who keeps stealing my bras. TMI?
angrymiddleagewoman
December 19, 2011 at 7:52 pm
This past weekend I went shoppiing with Tink for a dress for her to wear to her cousin’s wedding. I was both proud of how amazing she looked and depressed at the fact that I will never come close to looking that great again. Now when someone says, “Your daughter looks just like you.” I take it as an awesome compliment!
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 8:54 pm
My girl is truly beautiful. I’d appreciate that beauty more if she kept her grubby mitts off my Slytherin shirt.
Gilly
December 19, 2011 at 8:02 pm
I loved to steal my mum and father’s clothes! Man, I looked like a crazy person in men’s shirts, pegged jeans, and loafers, but I felt so cool looking like Denise in The Cosby Show! Too bad I was Rudi’s age…
becomingcliche
December 19, 2011 at 8:51 pm
My daughter is a HUGE Cosby show fan. You’d think she’d be more interested in her dad’s corner of the closet.
whatimeant2say
December 19, 2011 at 9:20 pm
Dimples loves The Cosby Show, too. She is only starting to become interested in clothes, so Ill be interested to see which personality she takes on. She mentioned she liked Vanessa’s clothes the other day, which really worries me…
MJ, Nonstepmom
December 19, 2011 at 8:14 pm
So far, my things are safe…. I do not dress like lady gaga…..
JeLisa | Blogging Ever After
December 20, 2011 at 12:06 am
Hahaha! Hahahaha! Either I’m easily amused, or this post and that sweater were just a little hilarious.
becomingcliche
December 20, 2011 at 7:47 am
The sweater is definitely worth a chuckle by itself.
Hamza
December 20, 2011 at 8:43 am
I waited all my childhood to grow as tall as my father to wear what he wears, after all, I have to step into his shoes at some point, No? Why not start with clothes. Now, however, I feel a thousand years too early to wear that shirt I admired so much, when young. I may have looked cute in that leather jacket all those years back, but now, its just sad.
Your daughter will probably grow tired of wearing your stuff soon enough. Hopefully, before the boomkin raid
becomingcliche
December 20, 2011 at 8:49 am
Dear God, let it be before the Boomkin raid!
racheldeangelis
December 20, 2011 at 2:00 pm
I remember driving my mom nuts by constantly borrowing her stuff. She even still occasionally calls me on the phone and accuses me of it when something goes missing, even though we’re living in two different states.
I have yet to experience it myself, except in my classroom (I’m a high school English teacher). I can be stingy with my office supplies. I just hate it when students use up my spare paper for something not-so-productive, like making paper airplanes or throwing stars (guess who gets to pick those up off the floor later?). Or when they borrow my Expo markers to write “Emo” or “Stupid” on someone’s forehead. And my nice Swingline stapler? Last year it went missing for FIVE MONTHS, until a student found it all the way out in the woodworking shop, like a mile away from my English classroom. Seriously? Don’t touch my stapler!
becomingcliche
December 20, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Office supplies are another hot-button in my house. It’s the scissors. Leave them, children. Buy your own!
Angie Z.
December 20, 2011 at 6:43 pm
I never went through this with my mom (I wouldn’t touch her clothes with a ten foot pole at any point in my teenage years). Now I’ve since come to mourn the things she got rid of: a chocolate pair of suede boots, a mandarin-style ’70s maxi dress, a camel colored trenchcoat, a pair of black pointy-toed pumps. All of them looked revolting to me at the time (though all would’ve looked revolting on her had she worn them in 1991 as opposed to 1978). Sigh, what might’ve been….
Sara no "H"
December 20, 2011 at 11:32 pm
Ha ha ha…that sweater I brilliant.
becomingcliche
December 21, 2011 at 6:43 am
Brilliant. I will go with that word.
becomingcliche
December 21, 2011 at 6:43 am
No! Mine has to be a one-of-a-kind original! I can’t live in a world where there are two people who would buy that sweater! And besides, mine is much, much hairier!
lorrelee1970
December 21, 2011 at 7:24 pm
I guess I know what I have to look forward to.
becomingcliche
January 2, 2012 at 9:39 am
Do yourself a favor. Buy clothes the kid wouldn’t be caught dead in.
Karen
December 31, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Hilarious, I can identify. But now with my eldest girls in their 20′s with some style, I flipped the scenario and let them buy the clothes so I raid their closets sometimes instead. Unfortunately I have more weight on me then they do, but it’s a New Year tomorrow, and maybe it’ll be the year to lose some more weight which would result in a larger wardrobe choice….yeah, keep dreaming’ baby!
becomingcliche
January 2, 2012 at 9:28 am
My daughter has an awesome t-shirt collection. I may have to put one on and see if she notices.