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Coming Clean

23 Feb

In case you missed it, Monday’s post was a variation on “Two Truths and a Lie” in response to a challenge from The Hobbler. I am fairly certain that at least a dozen people have not slept a wink in the last three days in anticipation of the answers. So here they are.

The Truth

1) The dance troupe I toured with did a performance in Japan – And we did, indeed, dance for the wife of the chairman of the board of Toyota motors, Mrs. Toyoda. It was the best trip of my life. I am more graceful than I look. When my task is set to music. I will look for some action shots to share.

I know it's not a dancing shot, but I have trouble doing the steps and taking the picture at the same time.

In one of my dancing costumes. I'm the chick on the far left in the shortest dress. Sorry you had to see that.

4) I nearly missed my high school graduation to go to a dog show. My saluki was entered at the national specialty, and I had no intention of missing it. I had even arranged to take the ACT exam in the same state as the show on the day my dog wasn’t showing. Was my dog appreciative of my efforts? He was not. He pooped in the ring.

Gimme the bunny! Gimme!

7) I have a potted fern with a history. I started that thing from a tiny spore. My grandmother loved houseplants, and I think of her every time I see it.

9) Despite my number of posts on passive aggression I am not actually passive aggressive. I don’t usually waste my time on the passive aggressive. And my husband is grateful because I would apparently be quite good at it.

10)  When I visited Los Angeles, the only celebrity I saw was Judy Tenuta. Everyone I know says “Who?”    But she is a real person, and she’s funny. When her companion is not having to hold her upright. That was just sad.

11) I once bottle-fed a litter of deer mice. Their mommy had been killed, and I couldn’t let them starve. I studied feeding and re-release information online, and I fed them with a tiny syringe.

And the LIES!

2) I was once bitten by a baby  caimanI did use a baby caiman quite often when I did programs, and he turned into a nasty little son-of-a-pup as he got older, but I was never bitten. There were some close calls, though. You’ll have to buy the book to hear that tale.

3) I once swallowed a live goldfish on a bet. Eileen is right. This one isn’t actually a wish. Unless you count wishing that I had cool stories like that to tell.

5) I am turning a walk-in closet into a reptile room. My husband is so hoping that this is one of the lies. Truth be told, that walk-in closet is too cold for womas. I’m thinking maybe native species like rat snakes…

6) I once used the “f” word in a paper for high school English. I did, however, use the word “pecker.” And got an “A.” It was a character sketch about my dog-show friend who was, indeed a character. I wish that I could have found that paper to read at her funeral last year. She would have loved that. I miss her.

8) My most prized possession is a hard-cover first edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. I don’t have one yet. But I will. There is one out there waiting to come home with me.

12) I hatched a clutch of garter snake eggs that were found in a pile of mulch. I was waiting for someone to Google this one. Garter snakes are live-bearers. I did hatch a clutch of five-lined skinks and released the babies at their nesting site. That was pretty amazing, honestly.

Not a skink. A gecko. But we've hatched dozens of these guys. If you like this pic, wait until tomorrow. If you hate this pic, wait until tomorrow.

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29 Comments

Posted by on February 23, 2012 in humor

 

Tags: , , , , ,

29 Responses to Coming Clean

  1. The Hobbler

    February 23, 2012 at 9:31 am

    I am starting to realize that I am not very good at figuring out when people are lying. It is a good thing I am not in politics…I wouldn’t be able to find anything to slam the other candidates with. You are a pretty great liar, so maybe you should run for office.

     
    • becomingcliche

      February 24, 2012 at 12:37 pm

      Maybe I will. If I am running anywhere, I expect a corner office.

       
  2. Ande

    February 23, 2012 at 9:42 am

    I’ve had the students use the F-word in papers. Some of them have gotten A’s. Others were just terrible writers to begin with.

     
    • becomingcliche

      February 24, 2012 at 12:38 pm

      Apparently I wasn’t terrible. But she made me read it to the class…

       
  3. breezyk

    February 23, 2012 at 9:50 am

    love the dance pics!

     
  4. sj

    February 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

    I love the pictures of you before you had any idea you’d become a cliche!

    And I KNEW you didn’t have a first of PS. I KNEW IT!

     
    • sj

      February 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

      This means we can still be friends. <3

       
    • becomingcliche

      February 24, 2012 at 12:40 pm

      I think we all know that we are destined to become cliche.

       
  5. Sandra Parsons

    February 23, 2012 at 10:16 am

    You are some devious little so-and-so! I totally bought the garter snake story (as well as all the other reptile stories), but the live-bearing thing was a mean trick.
    Looks like I don’t know you at all. So you will just have to keep posting about yourself. Thank you.

     
    • becomingcliche

      February 24, 2012 at 12:40 pm

      I have been accused of being devious before. Once or twice.

       
  6. Sara no "H"

    February 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Wow what an interesting life you lead! Even your non truths are good. :)

     
  7. Beth Hull

    February 23, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    I totally believed the Harry Potter one. I’d write my own “Two Truths and a Lie” post, but am currently feeding the clutch of garter snake eggs in my closet with a syringe.

     
    • becomingcliche

      February 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm

      You have an iron-clad excuse, then. And believe me.I wish the Harry Potter one was true.

       
  8. Audrey

    February 23, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Great pics! I was so wrong on most of these, by the way…

     
    • becomingcliche

      February 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm

      Are you disappointed in me?

       
      • Audrey

        February 24, 2012 at 12:44 pm

        Not in the least! Pleasantly pleased actually. Except for the Harry Potter 1st edition – that would have been epic. But then I’d be uber-jealous…

         
      • becomingcliche

        February 24, 2012 at 12:44 pm

        One day that book will appear in my life. One day. I feel it.

         
  9. whatimeant2say

    February 23, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    I love the Japan pics!

     
    • becomingcliche

      February 24, 2012 at 12:42 pm

      I have so many. But none are actually good.

       
  10. MJ, Nonstepmom

    February 23, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Ha ! I knew you didnt eat a goldfish !

     
  11. Angie Z.

    February 23, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    Awwww…those pictures of you are the cutest! I was way off on my guesses! Does this mean you were the girl off making up dances to Paula Abdul songs in junior high?

     
    • becomingcliche

      February 24, 2012 at 12:42 pm

      Actually, I never danced until college. Long story.

       
  12. Stephen Haggerty

    February 24, 2012 at 8:21 am

    Relieved about the snakes… because I was totally going to call the producers of “Hoarders” on you.

     
    • becomingcliche

      February 24, 2012 at 12:43 pm

      Many reptile keepers have racks and racks of the things. All of ours are pets, though. I like them to be out where I can see them.

       
  13. Frugalistablog

    February 24, 2012 at 10:22 am

    That second dance picture looks like a version of the Von Trapp Family Singers.

     
    • becomingcliche

      February 24, 2012 at 12:44 pm

      Or a band of thugs. None of my troupe members has commented on this post yet. I wonder if they will be displeased when they see these pics!

       

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