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I Said the “P” Word.

10 Jul

I’ve done it before, and I didn’t learn the lesson. So I did it again. I prayed for patience. I need to learn it. I’d like to not be thrown off-course by life’s curve balls. I want to be a better person. I’m pretty sure this is why my life looks like a country song.

Two weeks ago, we got a letter from our homeowner’s insurance company saying they were going to cancel us if we don’t put on a new roof. We hired a roofer, but they can’t come until close to the deadline, and we’ve got rain in the forecast for this week. Patience.

Last Sunday, a tree came down on a power line up the road. The resultant power surges blew several lightbulbs and may have played Grim Reaper for our refrigerator. Lots of fun dilemmas. Patience.

Monday, I went to purchase the new refrigerator. Patience.

Over the following few days, we lost power in storms several times. No big deal. All of our food is in coolers already. Patience.

Thursday night, a tree fell on the line at the top of the driveway, and it took eight hot, muggy hours to get power restored. Patience.

Friday morning, we noticed the power company had not actually removed the tree when they restored power. And the tree was smoking. SMOKING!  Patience.

Four hours later, power was lost again. It’s not nearly as hot today as it has been. Patience.

I call the power company and beg them to turn the power off until someone can get it fixed. Patience. And fire extinguishers.

Six hours later, the tree finally burst into flames. We couldn’t take a hose to it because the tree was electrified by the power line. The power company representative said “We’ll send someone.” Patience. Is there a liquor called “patience?” Please say yes.

Two hours and two explosions later (not kidding. Big booms, large flashes of light, at least one pair of soiled underwear. Not saying whose.), a utilities truck pulls up. It takes him a further two hours to remove the tree (breaking our solar light in the process) and restore power because two transformers have blown. I wonder how much damage would have been done if they had just turned off the power to begin with.  Patience. Patience translates in Aramaic as “beating ones fists on ones chest and screaming ‘What the heck?!’ to the heavens while weeping like a baby.”

Sunday afternoon, the phone went out. The tree that took out the power line finally killed the phone, as well. Patience. Even though I have an important phone call to make. And no one I know is actually online to make the call for me.

Monday morning, I tried to get in touch with the phone company via email. Guess what? Can’t. Not unless you have a pass code. Which takes one business day to mail, so the earliest I’ll get it is Tuesday. Or they can  give me the code over the phone. Which is, of course, no longer working. Patience. Maybe they can just send it by psychic vibrations and call it a day.

Monday afternoon my husband emails to tell me that he got in touch with the phone company. They can’t tell us when they’ll get the line repaired (oh, I love secrets!), but they think it will by Friday. Patience. Even though the roofer is supposed to call the day before the crew arrives to make the arrangements.

 

I am determined to get the hang of this patience thing this time around. I’m not sure how much more learning up I can take on the matter.

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59 Comments

Posted by on July 10, 2012 in humor

 

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59 Responses to I Said the “P” Word.

  1. greengeekgirl

    July 10, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Holy crap. I thought the little snippet I saw on Twitter was bad… this is definitely much worse. I would have lost my patience a few incidents in.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 10, 2012 at 10:09 am

      It has been an incredibly surreal experience. I have learned to quit asking “What next?”

       
  2. sj

    July 10, 2012 at 9:54 am

    [huggy emoticon guys]

    I am so sorry this poop sandwich buffet has been put on your table. <3

    If I can do anything, let me know?

    Also, when you have power, you can make calls through gmail, as long as they're in the US or toll-free, you don't have to pay for anything (or input CC information!).

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 10, 2012 at 10:08 am

      What is this voodoo magic? Instructions? I don’t have to sacrifice a cat at midnight to make it work, do I? I don’t want to wait until midnight.

       
      • sj

        July 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

        Nope, cat sacrifices completely unnecessary.

        I’ll email you later with instructions.

         
  3. Marie Taylor

    July 10, 2012 at 9:55 am

    Extraordinary! strangely enough I have had similar encounters with the phone company which makes you wonder if anyone is behind the wheel. this too shall pass. Notice I didn’t say be patient. Marie

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 10, 2012 at 10:09 am

      I think they’ve got one repairman in the whole company. Because no one has land lines anymore. Except for me.

       
  4. Sandra Parsons

    July 10, 2012 at 9:57 am

    Not your week, is it? I actually admire your sense of humour in this whole misery. And of course I am grateful that nothing important was damaged. Other than a pair of undies. And your sanity.

    I won’t say “Try to see the positive side” but I sure enjoy your fun posts. Hope everything will work out in the end!

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 10, 2012 at 10:10 am

      It could be so much worse. I’m going to the store to load up my brand new refrigerator in just a few minutes. Very exciting to have ice in the ice maker!

       
  5. lexy3587

    July 10, 2012 at 10:07 am

    you are having a bad week (month?) for sure! I hope things start coming together in a less ridiculous/terrible way

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 10, 2012 at 10:11 am

      I wouldn’t mind if it got more ridiculous. Ridiculous is laughable. And I have laughed a lot this week.

       
  6. notquiteold

    July 10, 2012 at 10:23 am

    No one has enough patience for these circumstances. New swear words need to be invented.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 6:54 am

      I would like some new swear words. Ones my kids wouldn’t recognize.

       
  7. Shannygirl

    July 10, 2012 at 10:31 am

    Don’t you just love it when those little “tests” keep getting thrown at you? I’ve gotten to the point where I had to throw my hands up in the air, say thats it I quit and walk away..lol.. so if you ever learn the patience thing, lemme know okay? I really need to learn it.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 6:55 am

      I am so determined to learn this time around. I am! I am!

       
  8. tinkerbelle86

    July 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

    that sucks! they say it comes in threes though so lets hope something awesome is on its way…

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 6:55 am

      Something awesome is definitely on its way. By the end of this week, the landscape of my life will be different.

       
  9. Animalcouriers

    July 10, 2012 at 10:38 am

    Words fail us – we’ve had a small hiccup, you’re having a major **** up! A Comedy of Errors writ large. Keep that stiff upper lip, keep calm and carry on :D

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 6:56 am

      It is indeed a comedy of errors. That’s why I haven’t fallen apart yet. In some ways, it’s just really funny.

       
  10. Balsillie & Associates

    July 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

    Oh not the P word…does your mommy know?

     
  11. GingerSnaap

    July 10, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Stop it!

    Un-pray it, NOW!

    I NEVER pray for patience, and you just confirmed my theory as to why I do not.

    Truth is always more ‘exciting’ and angry eye-brow producing than fiction.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 6:57 am

      I wonder what would happen if I cry “uncle.”

       
  12. The Waiting

    July 10, 2012 at 11:35 am

    So I guess I shouldnt complain to you about the annoying rain we encountered while driving through Knoxville for 45 minutes last week? Seriously, though, you are a far better woman than I’ll ever be for even remembering the concept of patience exists through all that’s been thrown your way. Thinking of you and praying that you get a reprieve soon. Oh, and I’ll google “patience liquor” for you. It’s just got to exist.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 6:58 am

      I experienced the same rain. That was likely the one that took our power at least once. Any luck on the patience liquor?

       
  13. linneann

    July 10, 2012 at 11:38 am

    I don’t know anyone who would have patience through these circumstances. My day is not looking so bad after all.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 6:58 am

      Then that’s the good that can come of it. If someone else can take heart!

       
  14. nailingjellotoatree

    July 10, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    I believe in my dictionary patience is spelled v-o-d-k-a and it usually involves a few ounces of Cranberry juice. Which coincidentally help other things slide out easily so in the end we feel better. My kind of patience definitely works.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 6:58 am

      I can get on board with that kind of thinking.

       
  15. Elyse

    July 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    You could make a mint with a liquor called “Patience.” I’d buy it by the case.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 6:59 am

      Maybe that’s my positive outcome. I will take what I have learned and market liquor to the masses!

       
      • Elyse

        July 11, 2012 at 7:02 am

        It would need to be a bitter-sweet brew, I’d say! Go for it — I’ll buy!

         
      • becomingcliche

        July 11, 2012 at 7:07 am

        I’m going right now to my secret lair to being the concoction.

         
      • Elyse

        July 11, 2012 at 7:09 am

        Cue the evil laugh!

         
  16. Audrey

    July 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    This is crazy!! What a way to learn patience…
    I think wine is Latin for patience, drink up!

     
  17. omawarisan

    July 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    You know, I think you should be grateful that the tree gradually caught fire. You don’t want fire sneaking up. You want fire saying “hey, I’m fixin’ to burn some stuff”.

    Apparently fire is a little bit country.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 7:00 am

      I’m just glad it’s not a little bit rock and roll.

       
  18. The Byronic Man

    July 10, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    Our house caught fire a couple years ago from a tree falling on a power line connected to our house. The fire department was there within a couple minutes, then stood around watching the fire, containing what they could. “We can’t do anything until the power is cut. The power company has to do that. They should be here in about half an hour.”

    Sorry for your week.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 7:01 am

      That is incredibly painful. And it was my own thought. The person on the phone told me to call 911 if I had to, but I couldn’t imagine them actually being able to do anything about it with the power still on.

       
  19. speaker7

    July 10, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    Holy tree fire, that is a lot to absorb and take in and not lose your mind over. I’m in awe of your patience.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 7:02 am

      And my mind is definitely not lost. It’s around here somewhere. Maybe when we move the refrigerator, I’ll discover that I dropped it back there.

       
  20. thepolkadotpalace

    July 10, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    You’re a better person than I! I think I would have lost any hope of patience days ago – and instead be huddled in the corner with a large bottle of wine!

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 7:03 am

      I’m almost intrigued by what is happening. It’s making me ask myself what my breaking point will be. I shouldn’t ask things like that.

       
  21. Snoring Dog Studio

    July 10, 2012 at 8:20 pm

    I’m stunned. This is too much to happen to one family. But you amaze me – you’re writing about these series of catastrophes. I couldn’t do that. I’d be under the covers or in a bathtub filled with ice cubes. And I’d be drinking a lot. Things will get better, they will. And all of this is teaching you patience. All Shall be Well, And All Shall be Well, And All Manner of Thing Shall be Well. (Mother Julian of Norwich)

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 7:04 am

      We no longer have ice cubes in the bathtub. Because we got to move our food into the new fridge! I didn’t mention that the cooler leaked, so we had to keep it in the bathroom. We had to lose the food-in-the-bathroom aversion.

       
  22. Angie Z.

    July 10, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    I agree — too much happening to one family at once. I’m so sorry for your bad week. I am not by any means a patient person. Well, I’m patient with people. Not with the whole life throwing your curve balls thing though.

    This too shall pass if you drink enough.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 7:05 am

      It’s all good now. I think. Although there are storm clouds overhead, and we still haven’t heard from the roofer.

       
  23. Kimberly Choquette Pugliano

    July 10, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    I have a headache for you. Seriously.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 7:06 am

      My headache went away. I decided to hit my foot with a hammer. Now I don’t even notice the headache.

       
  24. Laura

    July 11, 2012 at 3:31 am

    I’m sorry — this sounds like an awful, awful week. Well, more than a week. I hope things get better soon.

    You might want to ask the phone company if they can forward your calls to your cell phone until your landline gets fixed. I did that the last time my phone went out.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 11, 2012 at 7:06 am

      I don’t have a cell phone. But my good pal taught me how to make calls from my computer. Gmail is genius.

       
  25. Facetious Firecracker

    July 11, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    This gives a whole new meaning to “you can’t make this **** up.” Wow.

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 12, 2012 at 2:34 pm

      You really can’t make it up. Sometimes truth is more awful than fiction, or however the saying goes.

       
  26. Hobbles

    July 12, 2012 at 11:21 pm

    I am soooooo sorry. That is crazy. I hope I never accidentally say that prayer. I was actually getting on here tonight to ask you a turtle question, but I think you have some much more important things to deal with…maybe next week. ;)

     
    • becomingcliche

      July 13, 2012 at 7:07 am

      Feel free to send me an email with your turtle question, or DM me on Twitter. Life is easier today. I even got the roofing/insurance thing worked out.

       
  27. 2browndawgs

    July 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    This post speaks to me. I am always working on my patience. (I am just not. By now you’d think I would just accept it.) You are due for some luck…maybe buy a lottery ticket. :)

     
  28. Chris Sheridan

    July 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    Wow… I’m just really sorry, and I hope that your luck changes for much better, and very soon.

     

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