I Blame Global Warming

I thought it couldn’t get any worse. I was wrong.

Remember the billboard that drives me nuts? They took it down. In its place is this one:

Their hatred for me is strong.

I discovered yesterday that there is a shortage of pumpkins in my area, and bacon will also be at a premium this year. Did the drought wipe out the comma crop, too?

**insert sound of head beating against desk here**

You’re Killing Me!

Remember when I showed you the worst typo in the world? It hurts, doesn’t it? I know. There, there.

I thought you might want to know that I found another one, and it’s even worse. Because it appears to be intentional.

This is an actual billboard. One of many. Too many.

I’ll apologize right now for the quality of the photo. I blame my husband. It’s not actually his fault, of course, but it has been a really long time since I’ve blamed him for anything. I don’t want him to think that I have forgotten about him.

Anyway. I die inside a little every time I see this billboard. It says “Goodbye Neglect. Hello Respect.”  For the love of grammar, how much can a comma possibly cost? I’ll donate one for each sentence that is an ice pick to my eye. Oh, wait. That’s all of them.

Technically, these sentences are correct. If “Goodbye” is a verb. And if people who use cell phones talk like cave people. Seriously. Why leave the ever useful point-and-grunt behind if you can’t communicate a thought more effectively?

Sorry, Thag. No cell phone for you until you quit trying to conjugate a noun. You’re grounded like Pangea, little caveman.

Dear Copy Editor,Your Fired!

With apologies to my grammar-loving pals sj,Grngeekgirl, Amy, and Boggleton Drive. I know my title creates an urge to punch someone. Please don’t hurt me. I can’t look at it without screaming, either.

I came across this billboard on a road trip last week. I hurt for the copy editor. This image was everywhere around town.  I almost wrecked the car when I saw the first one. Not seeing the difference between “your” and “you’re” in a first draft is not a big deal. Not catching it before it goes to print is just painful. For everyone.

It HURTS! Make it stop!