I Hate Mornings

Mornings used to be simple. Alarm went off, I got up, poured my coffee, started my day. Those were the good old days. How did my life get so complicated? I have started to feel like it’s too much trouble to get out of bed.

For starters, the alarm goes off at 5:45 so husband can go for a run, and I don’t have to be up for another 45 minutes. The baby sleeps in our room and he has ears like radars. If I don’t want him up and bouncing, I know better than to turn over, adjust the covers, breathe. If I can successfully play dead until he settles back down, I may get a few minutes more sleep.That little game lasts about 4 minutes. And then it’s time to start. Our morning routine looks something like this:

Take baby to potty

Let dog out of crate

Take dog to potty

Let cats upstairs

Attempt to silence Siamese-cross before her yowling wakes the whole house

Fill pet water bowl

Grind coffee beans

Retrieve small child’s lovey from his bed.

Remove small child from back of couch

Get small child’s ride-on toy out of the closet to try to keep him out of trouble.

Clean out water bowl because cat won’t drink after the dog

Add water to coffee pot

Feed small child

Notice that both small child and dog are doing their “I gotta poop” dance.

Make educated guess as to which of the two is most likely to go on the floor and tend to their need first. This is, if you will pardon the pun, a bit of a crap-shoot. I have been wrong before, with unfortunate consequences.

Tend to pooper #2 (sorry. I think that’s the last of the puns for this time around)

Turn on coffee pot

Get towel and clean up water that spilled when small child ran over it with motorcycle

Pour first drink of the day, and it ain’t coffee.

5 thoughts on “I Hate Mornings

  1. Wow that sounds like quite a hectic life. I can not ever imagine adding a baby to our household. You are doing a great job at multi-tasking! It sounds like you need to invite the inlaws or your parents over to get a week off to refresh 🙂

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