Mornings used to be simple. Alarm went off, I got up, poured my coffee, started my day. Those were the good old days. How did my life get so complicated? I have started to feel like it’s too much trouble to get out of bed.
For starters, the alarm goes off at 5:45 so husband can go for a run, and I don’t have to be up for another 45 minutes. The baby sleeps in our room and he has ears like radars. If I don’t want him up and bouncing, I know better than to turn over, adjust the covers, breathe. If I can successfully play dead until he settles back down, I may get a few minutes more sleep.That little game lasts about 4 minutes. And then it’s time to start. Our morning routine looks something like this:
Take baby to potty
Let dog out of crate
Take dog to potty
Let cats upstairs
Attempt to silence Siamese-cross before her yowling wakes the whole house
Fill pet water bowl
Grind coffee beans
Retrieve small child’s lovey from his bed.
Remove small child from back of couch
Get small child’s ride-on toy out of the closet to try to keep him out of trouble.
Clean out water bowl because cat won’t drink after the dog
Add water to coffee pot
Feed small child
Notice that both small child and dog are doing their “I gotta poop” dance.
Make educated guess as to which of the two is most likely to go on the floor and tend to their need first. This is, if you will pardon the pun, a bit of a crap-shoot. I have been wrong before, with unfortunate consequences.
Tend to pooper #2 (sorry. I think that’s the last of the puns for this time around)
Turn on coffee pot
Get towel and clean up water that spilled when small child ran over it with motorcycle
Pour first drink of the day, and it ain’t coffee.