Rules For the Last Week of Summer

how quickly can this go wrong?

We’ve had a great summer. We’ve had lots of fun activities, and the kids have really enjoyed themselves. Until now. And as kids do best when they know what the limits are, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and make a few rules to help us survive. Just the big ones, you know. The stuff I’m finding myself having to say over and over.

1) Do not jump on your brother.

2) Keep your fingers out of your brother’s nose.

3) Do not touch your brother.

4) Leave your brother’s toys alone.

5) Do not look at your brother.

6) Your brother’s toys are his in perpetuity. Don’t touch them.

7) Keep walkie talkie antennae out of all orifices.

8 ) Do not breathe in the general direction of your brother.

9) You must wear pants if you are going outside to play.

10) Please return all toys to their rightful owner.

11) Please limit the number of Thomas the Tank Engine trains that you carry in your underwear to two.

12) Put your pants back on.

13) Do not think about your brother.

14) Objects in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. Therefore, do not ride your tricycle down the driveway. The concrete wall at the end of the trip will act upon you and make you sad.

15) No Bob the Builder video until you do your poops in the potty. This rule applies to everyone.

16) In this family, we do not hold our fork in our toes.

17) Keep your hands/elbows/mouth/feet off your brother’s plate.

18) Licking a cookie and offering it to your brother does not constitute sharing. Give him the other one.

19) Screaming at various pitches is not a game. Nor is it considered singing. Silence is golden and will keep your mommy from twitching quite so much.

20) When your screeches are so high-pitched that only dogs can hear them, it’s time for a nap. This rule does not, however, apply to adults. Sorry.

21) The game is always over when somebody cries.

22) Forget you even have a brother.

If I’ll be posting these for easy reference in the kitchen. And the bathroom. And the van. And the family room. Thanks for your cooperation.


If you enjoyed this post, feel free to share it. What are your summer rules?


6 thoughts on “Rules For the Last Week of Summer

  1. FIRST.
    Also, The Game is never over. How do I know? Everyone reading this post (including myself) just lost The Game.



    Loved the rules by the way. Made me chuckle. PX

  2. Awesome post, I think these apply all the time, not just during the last week of summer!

    Why can’t I have more than two trains in my underwear? NOT FAIR!

    • Some rules are just arbitrary by their very nature. And some are there for your own good. I’ll leave you to figure out which is the case here. And remind you that Thomas trains weigh about 10 lbs each. And elastic doesn’t last forever.

  3. Your blog made me laugh out loud–really! My favorites on are numbers 13 and 22. They remind me of me and my sister growing up. (I was the instigator, poor mom and sister.) I am expecting karma to get back at me when I have my little ones.

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