What’s In a Name?

Let me start with a disclaimer and an apology. I am not pregnant. Not pregnant. I am NOT PREGNANT. Is Heather pregnant? NOOOOO! I fished this one up off of my other blog site that wouldn’t allow me to just import the blog. So you must forgive me. It is not that I am lazy, although there is that. It’s just that I’m a bit tired, having been up all night. Yesterday, I volunteered to chaperon a youth volunteer overnight at the zoo. Since I have a toddler, I was feeling a little too well-rested, you know. Though it is old news, I do hope you enjoy it.

Originally dated 9/20/08

I’ll never name this baby. So many women purchase book after book and spend hours finding the perfect name. I find there is nothing more boring in this entire world than reading baby names. Nothing. After less than 10 minutes of cruising the web I start thinking of things that would be less painful. Like a Brazilian wax. Or pulling out my toenails .

I guess I am expecting our baby’s name to come to me through divine inspiration. I even tried looking in the Bible because we do want a bibilical name. Still couldn’t stay awake. I hit my most deperate yesterday and actually suggested to my husband that HE look for names and make a list for us to choose from. That’s hitting rock bottom, boys and girls. I almost revoked his baby-naming privileges when he suggested we name our new pet  “Little Jerry Seinfeld”. I know. I saw the episode. Funny. But then you have to LIVE for the next 25 years with a creature named “Little Jerry Seinfeld”. Call the ASPCA.

We don’t have a great track record for getting our kids named in a timely manner. The first one we finalized on the way to the hospital. It was a 2 hour car ride (on my list of Do’s and Don’ts, DON’T be that far away from your place of delivery your first time around.), so we had plenty of time to discuss it.

The second kid’s name we had firmly in hand until the night I went into labor. We went on a beautiful starlit walk along the river. There was a bonfire and pow wow going on. Very fitting, very magical. As we are walking along hand-in-hand my husband began to tinker with the name, tossing out new ones. I may have hit him. It was justified.

I was in no mood for the name-game. The next afternoon when the baby was born, I was the first to peek and see what we had. As soon as I located his plumbing, I called him by the name we had originally agreed upon.Try to undo THAT!

I am mystified by the couples who find out what gender they are having and refer to it by it’s name the rest of the pregnancy. That blows me out of the water. How do you choose? I have an easier time naming our pets. I think I might have to go with the old stand-by the way I do with the reptiles and plunge the character list of Harry Potter. If your kid hits kindergarten with little Draco or Hermione, it’s probably mine.


Update: I know you were worried, dear reader, but let me set your mind at ease. The new baby was NOT named Little Jerry Seinfeld.  We called him “Squishy.” Now, don’t you feel better?

Not our kid OR our cat. But it makes you say "awwww!"


5 thoughts on “What’s In a Name?

  1. What’s in a name?

    My sons delivery was in a beautiful Emerald City that faced the bay…he was named after.

    My daughter’s delivery….the only magazine available in the Labor room was National Geographic featuring Australia on the cover……she’s toting the Capital.

    Who has time for Baby naming books when pains are two minutes apart??

    spread the humor:charlywalker.wordpress.com

    • I hate baby name books so very much. I think culture’s that have naming traditions are on to something. It would totally take the pressure. Off. At least it was National Geographic and not a tabloid!

      • I am too cheap to buy baby naming books! And I am with you–sorting through lists of names is boring and painful. I think that is why/how we came up with or potential two names quickly. Neither of us are up for the torture of listing names of months. Anyway, I am certain your darling Hermione loves her name!

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