The Rudest Awakening

I thought I knew who I was. I built my whole life around and identity I thought was my own, and now I see I have been living a lie. I was shattered this week when the catalog arrived, one I had not ordered but found intriguing. But as I flipped through it, my whole life came tumbling down as the realization hit me. I am not a geek.

I’ve spent years being referred to as a geek. After all, if I dress like this and enter Harry Potter costume contests, what does that make me? Certainly not normal.

Laugh if you want. I won. I AM Trelawney.

But apparently, dressing your baby like this:

Maybe I could get in the club if I had used permanent marker to make the scar.


does not get you in the club. Now I have read the catalog, and I realize the many ways that I am not a geek.

I don’t get the whole bacon thing: Bacon is greasy, high in fat, salty and terrible. Tastes okay and all, but eating that stuff will kill you. I tried cooking with bacon recently. For my husband’s sake. But at the last second, I totally chickened out and bought turkey bacon. Which according to my husband is not even a reasonable substitute.

I am no whiz at chemistry or physics– I like the idea of chemistry, with all that bonding and stuff, but I could never balance an equation. Mine always tilted to one side.

I have never watched Dr. Who– It’s not available at my library, and I don’t have cable. And I won’t just buy a DVD because *gasp* there’s a chance I might not actually like it.

I don’t have cable–  And therefore I cannot watch Dr. Who. It’s a vicious geek-prevention cycle.

I have never participated in a role-playing game– A couple of weeks ago, we thought we had been transported to Middle Earth because the mountain was never-ending. But none of us had powers. And no one thought it was funny but me.

I am not interested in Zombies– I don’t actually get that fascination, either. Why are smart people so fascinated with a creature that wants to eat their brain? It’s like a cow watching McDonald’s commercials.

I have never played Rock Band– I play two online games, but interest in both is fading, and one is going off-line in a few months anyway.

I don’t like the right TV shows– Star Trek (any generation) bores me to tears, I have no idea what a Tardis is, and Star Wars is only mildly appealing. I do only like the original trilogy, though, so that should give me some bonus points, right?

I don’t have gadgets– I don’t have a cell-phone (i- , smart, or otherwise), and I have no idea what Angry Birds actually is. My daughter tried to tell me about it, but I think she may have been kidding. There aren’t actually pigs involved, right?

I am not up on the latest technology– I’m not a techno-phobe, and I’ve taught myself some cool stuff on the computer, but I am not exactly a genius at it, either. I can update my flash and browser, post pictures, figure out blogging sites, but I am still not exactly sure what an RSS feed is and how it can be my friend. And to me, writing code means leaving a note for my husband that the boys can’t read. It’s called “cursive.” Linux is a mystery to me, as well. Wasn’t he the kid with the blanket on Charlie Brown?

So there you have it. I know what I am not. But here’s the good news. I don’t have to be a geek. I came across another epithet that is hurled with the same amount of scorn and derision. I am a “mommy-blogger.” It’s good to know who I am.

22 thoughts on “The Rudest Awakening

  1. I love this post. The guy who developed Linux is name Linus, ha ha. And I know this because my husband’s friend gave us a computer that was run on Linux. Who turns down a free computer? We didn’t know what to do with it for two months so it just sat there. Eventually I read what Linux was on Wikipedia and there was not turning back. I think it is really cool now except I can’t figure out how to get my free library audio books to download on it so have to rely on the old corporate machine (i.e. laptop with Microsoft OS installed). Also my good friend and here daughter are obsessed with Dr. Who and I had to Wikipedia that a few days ago so I didn’t look stupid when we were at lunch. Oh, sorry but you refer to reptiles as your friend so I think that keeps you in the geek rankings 🙂 I’m a nature geek too.

  2. Little Harry is sooooo cute!!!

    Do you know what I just learned from your blog? I am a geek! I had always thought I was an independent, book-worm type, but now I must reconsider!

    I’m pretty obsessed with bacon (I make it in the oven); I am obsessed with Dr. Who, Firefly, and Battlestar Galactica; I’ve got the tech and gadgets; I do play RPGs (always as a half-elf/half-human ranger). I agree with your stance on Star Trek, Star Wars, and Rock Band though… Wow, I’m a geek…and a wannabe mommy blogger! 🙂

  3. And I thought my husband was the only geek in the house. I love bacon. I could eat every morning. We love Dr. Who (it is on netflix) My husband and I watch it together every time we get a chance. I always say I won;t like shows like that, but then I watch one for him and fall in love with it. Same thing happened with Star Wars. I swore I did not like it. I watched it just to spend time with him. Now my entertainment center is decorated with Build-a-bears in Star Wars outfits. I love Rock band even though we don;t have it anymore. And I have to get a copy of that catalog.

  4. I was going to say you’re a nerd, not a geek, but you’re right, you might be a normal person nerd hybrid. But that’s a pretty good place to be, so go with it. However, you should give Battlestar Gallactica a try before you rule out all nerd shows.

  5. Excellent post, but I ended up a little confused. I’m trying to figure out who I am. I’m pretty sure that I’m not a mommy blogger. Maybe I’m a daddy blogger. The thing is my son is now a teenager, and almost as big as me. I could be a “Daddy, hey son, get out of the refrigerator while I finish my post,” blogger. The geek thing has caught me in the middle. I love bacon, Dr. Who, and have cable. The zombie thing is iffy. Do mother-in-laws count in the zombie category. I hate science, and I’m completely enept with computers, App’s or gadgets. To be honest, I have been involved in role-playing, but my wife is standing behind me and just told me that it’s private. I’ll be in big trouble if I type anything. I’m glad that you found out who you are. You’re babies magnificent. I see a bright future for him; possibly on the big screen. Thanks for a laugh, and take care.

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