A Public Service Announcement. Thank Me Later.

It's for their own good, you know.

Public Service Announcement

This is a public service announcement for all women recommending that you keep your doggies fenced up at night.

I’m not talking about the 4 legged furry variety, I am talking about the two accessories on your chest; the “girls”, if you will. Now I know that some shrink in horror at the thought of confining their doggies for 24 hours a day. It may seem cruel, but it is in their best interests. Allow me to explain why.

During a first pregnancy, those gals are perky little Cocker Spaniels, fat and sassy. They usually to stay in the yard, so the height of their fence isn’t as critical.

Add two years of breastfeeding, a couple of additional years of fighting gravity, and the rapid growth of a second pregnancy and you have a pair of Labrador retrievers. These pups are brave and may have more of a tendancy to wander away from the homestead. They are wily and require a good, solid fence.

Add another two years of breastfeeding, a couple more birthdays,  and the trauma of a third pregnancy and you have a pair of saggy old mastiffs. These gals have distinct migratory patterns and a mind of their own. It is in their best interests to tie them up to keep them close to home. They get hurt when they wander, particularly at night. Speaking from personal experience, I have found mine buried in my armpit, crushed under my own bodyweight. Even worse, they have a tendancy to explore a little further from home. They have at times faced serious risk of injury by leaving their side of the bed completely and being squashed under the elbow of the other occupant. These pups are escape artists and will resist confinement. Invest in a high-quality, industrial fencing.

Ladies, those doggies need to stay up! It really is for their own good. We have leash laws for a reason.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

 

 

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24 thoughts on “A Public Service Announcement. Thank Me Later.

  1. Hilarious! Thanks for the PSA! I am sort of scared/interested for the chance to see what I’d look like with doggies when I’m pregnant. I’m sporting an A-… Could never imagine these in the way of anything…

  2. I popped over from whatimeant2say. I laughed and startled the real dog, not my matched pair of scrappy terriers.

    What do you recommend for the girls at my high school? Do I inform my students to leash those puppies in before someone gets hurt? I am sick of having the boys’ heads snap around to dog watch instead of paying attention to the lessons.

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