A Bit of a Stretch

I have a problem. I have a physical issue that pops up from time to time that can cause nerve pain. My latest little flare-up started two or three weeks ago. But that’s not my problem. I can deal with that. Here’s my problem. The most likely way to treat the pain is yoga. Yoga. I could cry.

I know. Yoga has been around for centuries, it has helped lots of people, it’s a great way to relax. Blah, blah, blah. What’s the big deal? Please. I am about to turn the big 4-0. Tell me I have to go to a yoga class, and you might as well slap a soccer decal on the back of my mini-van and sign me up for carpool. Remember me? I fight the cliche. Correction. I fight the cliches that bore me.

Currently, my muscles are so tight that my limbs may snap off at any moment. If I could loosen up even a little bit, I would imagine I’d get some relief. It seems like a no-brainer. I’ll be the first to tell you that when it comes to admitting that there is something actually wrong with me, I have no brain. It’s not that I’m trying to be Superman, here. Heck, most days right now I’d be satisfied to be Clark Kent. He didn’t walk like a duck. But acknowledging that I have a problem feels like caving. And I don’t cave. I mentioned I am stubborn, right?

The even bigger obstacle to signing up for a class is that I am about as fond as being told what to do as your average two-year-old. You can’t make me. You can’t make me. You are not the boss of me. Or in this case, I am not the boss of me. Think that’s weird? Tell yourself you have to start a diet tomorrow and see how your inner tantrum-tosser reacts.

So where does that leave me? In the end, I am sure that logic and yoga will win the day. But I refuse to go to an actual class.  I draw the line at public humiliation. I will buck up and go to my beloved library and borrow a DVD. Reservation? Check! Library card? Check! Fake mustache? Check!

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23 thoughts on “A Bit of a Stretch

  1. I got a yoga DVD to try and loathed it. It was so boring!!! I rather watch grass grow…well actualy it was like watching grass grow. However, when pregnant with my first son I got a DVD I actually enjoyed and I still use it! Good luck!!

  2. Ugh. Husband got me yoga DVDs when I was pregnant with the youngest and I never touched them. He still picks them up from their dusty spot on the shelf and shoots me pointed glances. I raise my eyebrows at him in a “do you really want to get into this right now?” sort of way. Then we pretend nothing ever happened until another three months have gone by and they’re even dustier.

  3. I *love* yoga! I *loathe* going to classes and sticking my butt up and out in other people’s faces. Also, if I were with others, I’d turn it into competitive sport. So I Downward Dog in the privacy of my own home.

  4. I am in a similar predicament – bad back, yoga helps. But I can’t stand it, honestly, and I hate the idea of attending a class for the same reasons. I hope you don’t cave – you give me hope! : P

  5. The public humiliation factor of taking a yoga class makes me recoil, too. Yet, I don’t know if I would really get much out of watching an instructional DVD on my crummy TV. Plus there will not be anyone to look at on either side of yourself to see just how terribly you’re doing the positions. Thinking about this is enough to make me want to lie down and take a nap or eat a cookie. Good luck with how you ultimately decide to deal with this dilemma.

  6. I love yoga. I actually prefer classes to doing it at home. Which is odd for me due to my massive social anxiety. You are so focused on trying to not fall over that you don’t even look at anyone one else. I say go to a class. I love it.

  7. Here’s what you do: find someplace that does therapeutic massage, and have an expert tenderize your muscles for you.

    Or if you can swing it, get a personal trainer who will actually stretch your limbs for you. Nothing like lying on your back while someone puts your leg on their shoulder . . . well, I can’t describe it without it sounding dirty, but seriously it’s the best hamstring stretch ever!

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