How Halloween Ruined My Life

I can’t call this a wordless entry because look. Here are some words I made for you. But there aren’t many of them, so hang with me. Here’s how Halloween ruined what was left of my life. See this?

Everybody say it. Awwwwww.

So cute. Trick or treating at the zoo. Adorable. Sweet. Yeah. And the next day, it turns into this:

Levitating bandit

Photographic demonstration of why I can no longer get anything done in my house. I did move the treats to higher ground, but hope springs eternal. It doesn’t stop him from climbing up for a peek. Out of desperation, I grabbed my camera and snapped his photo as he summited Mount Never-rest. And I told him it was a bad shot and asked him to do it again and then again. Eight times. Until he gave me a withering glare and said “I done.”

Aren't you done yet?

So I have outsmarted him for the moment. A very brief moment. He is currently calling me to the bathroom to attend his performance as he tries  to squeeze out a token for yet another treat. I have become poop police, judge and jury. Anybody know how many tiny nuggets constitute a treat-worthy production? Dr. Spock fails to cover that one.

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22 thoughts on “How Halloween Ruined My Life

  1. I have a bag of Smarties for proper potty time on the top of the refrigerator. It started off in an upper cabinet but I had to move them. My 3-year-old pulled a chair up to the counter and climbed the rest of the way. Thankfully I found him before he was successful or fell to his doom. There’s nothing to climb on when it comes to the refrigerator. He watched me put them up there and threw a fit! I promptly left him to his drama-filled tirade because I don’t speak tantrum.

  2. My youngest, now four, couldn’t even walk when he started climbing onto things. “Monkey” doesn’t even begin to cover it. After two kids, I finally understood why there was a necessity for childproofing EVERYTHING and why there are age appropriate labels on ALL toys. There’s a reason why they are so damn cute.

  3. ooh man. This will be the first year we’ve actually gone trick-or-treating with my kids and I’m not sure whether I should just eat all their candy, or give them some! hahah. Joking. kinda. 😉 Not that they never eat sweets, but we pretty much steer clear of straight up candy. Right now, my son hardly notices the opened bags of candy sitting in a Wal-Mart bag on the shelf of the bottom cupboard. But come tuesday…it’s going to be a whole bother story! (That is, unless I eat them all!). haha. Anyway, great post and love the mom humor. I can totally relate. Unfortunately, I feel like I have so little time to read and write about this crazy state we’re in!!

  4. Thank goodness our smallest boy isn’t a big fan of sweets. He always makes a big deal out of getting candy or a piece of cake, but when we actually give him something, he pushes it away and says he doesn’t want it anymore.

    Honestly, I think we still have some Hallowe’en candy sitting around from last year’s haul.

  5. We’re potty training a 2-year-old granddaughter — you’d think that after four kids we’d have this down cold. How many nuggets to earn a treat? ANYTHING — Anything at all!

    I discovered you when you Liked my Jane Austen Driving School post — thank you for visiting.

    • If we gave a treat for just any old nugget, this kid would be sugared up till kingdom come. He has the amazing ability to squeeze out one tiny token whenever he wants. A marketable skill somewhere in the world.

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