Thanks for being all warm and cozy and providing me with endless cups of coffee and a dog to pet while I do all of my Christmas shopping. Oh, wait. That’s right. That’s my living room. A month ago. So I didn’t have to stand in the freezing-cold dark waiting for some soulless big-box store to open. Bless your soulless little free-shipping heart! Not only do I avoid the cold and the crowds, but by shopping at home, I’ve got a less than 10% chance of being pepper-sprayed by some psycho. Yes, Phoebe’s got designs on my leftover turkey, but as she lacks both opposable thumbs and the intelligence to even pick my husband out of a lineup if he’s wearing a hat, the odds are still in my favor.
Happy Black Friday!