The Most Controversial Post of All Time

This is the post where I address all of the hot button issues in parenting today. Beware. Strong opinions are herein contained. Consider yourself warned.

Ready to take some heat.

Feeding of Infants: Yes. Feed them. They insist on it. And feeding them makes them smile, although it does make them poop, too. Which leads us to:

Cloth Diapers/ Disposable diapers It is my opinion that if you are going to use diapers on your infant, you simply must use cloth or disposable.

Attachment Parenting: I’m not on board with this in general. Many grandparents are older and less tech-savvy and can’t actually open the attachments. Send them hard copies of all pictures. If your grandma has some mad tech skills, by all means send some attachments. And for attachment in general, I prefer velcro.

Free Range Kids– It is wrong to confine a child to a small cage where they are forced to lay eggs their whole lives. I am very against this. Their eggs are better quality when they’re allowed to roam a bit.

Childproofing – The amount of childproofing in a home should be inversely proportional to the quality of the health care coverage.

Junk Food: I don’t share.

Television: Flat screen.

Vaccinations: It’s the law. Get that rabies shot.

Homeschooling– It is pointless. I have been trying for years to get my house to do that twirly thing that Dorothy’s does to no avail. Perhaps my house is just not as smart. I may never get to Oz.

Competitive Mothering – I am way better at competitive mothering than you are.

There. Now let the sparks fly. I’ve got my fire extinguisher ready.



49 thoughts on “The Most Controversial Post of All Time

  1. I agree with childproofing – you should have proof that the child is yours. Especially if you are the father and cannot attempt to prove this by pointing out the irreparable damage carrying said child did to your body.

    PS – you are really going out on a limb with this post and should rein it in going forward.

  2. I totally agree – especially about TV! When I read the title, I thought maybe you were going to address the toilet paper – over or under? debate. Then you really could have started a flamewar!

  3. I disagree with everything you said! Even the things I didn’t understand! And I accuse you of hating freedom and of probably being some sort of sexual deviant! Becoming Cliche is the greatest threat to your life and stuff and happiness since Attila the Hun!

    There. Thought I’d help stoke the fires a bit.

  4. I find I am more passionate about disagreeing with stuff when I don’t understand it in the first place.

    Thanks for fanning the flames. I’m aiming to be the center of a global controversy.

  5. I’m completely offended. What nerve you have. You don’t even know me or my children.

    I don’t know if I can even look in your snowman beady little eyes again after this. But you’re damn funny so I will try.

  6. My son and his wife work in Shanghai. In China, toddlers walk along with a slit in their underwear that allows them to potty wherever and whenever. Saves on the dispoable and the cloth issue. Mm, environmental issue. Not sure.

  7. the snowman is screaming because someone put junk food in his cloth nappy and attached him to the tv, then said go free little snowman if you can, learn something and cook me some eggs! Actually I thought that was going to be funnier but it is late.. do I get points for joining in?.. celi

  8. Cloth diapers are definitely the only way to go because that means the little boogers will have something to dust with when you make them do housework. That is one reason we have children.

  9. You know…I’m offended. I got all geared up to read offensive things. Then you made me laugh. So now I’m offended because you lied about offending me. And now I’m happy.

  10. Pingback: Managing Parental Expectation When It Comes to Breastfeeding | Knoxville Moms Blog

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