What Comes After

I am pretty sure that this parade was in my honor. Even though it was held two weeks before I was Freshly Pressed.It is common knowledge that they hone psychic abilities in band camp.

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Yesterday, I had a blog featured on Freshly Pressed. I was stunned. First of all, because when I started blogging, my goal was to make FP by my birthday. I only missed it by one day. Secondly, because I couldn’t believe they had chosen that post as my best. Why not this one? But whatevs.

My life has become a crazy circus since receiving the honor. Here’s the wacky stuff that has happened:

I have been bombarded with requests for my autograph. UPS guy, cashier at Wal-mart, teachers. It’s nuts. How do these people know?

Someone has already approached me about the rights to my life’s story. Like I’m going to share my socioeconomic background and ages of minor children in my home for a lousy $5 Wal-mart gift card.

The paparazzi are already stalking me: Someone was going through my trash last night. Trying to get the goods on me, I am sure. Very clever to disguise themselves as garbage collectors.

I woke to find myself in bed with someone other than my husband. Who knew fame would get so wild so quickly. Of course it was Squish, and he was warming his ice-cold feet on my leg, but I prefer to think that he was actually basking in the glow of my fame.

I was greeted with applause when I came out of the bathroom this morning. Yes, Squish again. I’m pretty sure he was saying “Awesome blog post, Mom!” and not “Way to make it to the potty in time!” And he offered me a treat. He might be my biggest fan.

My financial advisor has been very involved in everything I do. She’s right at my heels, and she is oh, so enthusiastic. I think she senses a major financial boom as a result of my newest honor. I know it’s not because she’s hungry and I forgot to feed her. I don’t think…

But it’s not all applause and potty treats, friends. Sometimes fame turns ugly. As I was returning home after walking my son to school, I saw it. My heart raced as I ran my hand along the brand-new dent in my husband’s car door. On the passenger’s side. That dent was meant for me.

So there you have it. Be careful what you wish for. Being Freshly Pressed is a magic monkey paw. Use with caution.

 

 

66 thoughts on “What Comes After

  1. Congrats again!! :D And so fab that your town threw a parade in your honor just weeks before you were Freshly Pressed. Lots of celebrations over in becomingcliche town! You got the key to the town too, right?

  2. Haha! I told my husband yesterday “Today has been a stellar day! First, toddler willingly took a bath, then she pooped in the potty instead of the floor and now this! Freshly Pressed! Everything’s coming up Nicki!”

    Congrats to you!

  3. You are my hero. I left the dot com of WP before I got the honor of being Freshly Pressed because I was afraid of what the fame would do to me. I’m still mostly unknown and have to beg people to read my posts and for what?

  4. Well, congrats on making 40 with your sanity mostly intact and on getting freshly pressed. I have both to accomplish yet but I’m getting there. In any case you have yet another new follower, maybe I can learn a thing or two from you. Like how to dodge all those annoying paparazzi.

  5. Great post. Nothing like a giggle on a Thursday norning. And congrats on your honor…Iam honred just be to be able to leave a comment and bask in your glow.

  6. Congrats on being FP! It’s my goal as well. You have another devoted follower in me – after seeing your blog on FP, I’m hooked. It will be my daily dose of laughter – just what the doctor ordered. Way to go!!

  7. Isn’t it weird, getting freshly pressed? Like at first it seems as if something’s wrong with your Dashboard?

    Also, people can have VERY strong feelings about whatever you’re writing about. I had one on going to the dentist that turned into an impassioned referendum on flossing in the comments section.

    • Flossing is such a hot button issue. How could anyone bring it up in comments? So rude!

      My favorites are the spammers who are trying to get their comments approved so they can use my blog to sell septic tanks later. I really feel like I have arrived.

  8. Ahh – the price of fame. You should only go out wearing dark sunglasses from now on.

    I told you having me follow your blog was a guanteed way to get Freshly Pressed. I take ALL the credit. I’m sure it had nothing to do with your fantastic writing skills and witty humor. Um about the dent . . . it might have occured when I was throwing fruit at you because you know as happy as I am for you, there is that jealousy part. Congrats again and way to follow up up with another FP worthy post!

  9. It’s never the post you want to be Freshly Pressed, but it’s nice getting it none-the-less.

    And that last comment about the dent in the car was hilarious.

  10. congratulations on getting freshly pressed! Sorry I missed it! I have been a little out of the blogging world…I feel like I am always saying that :) But you are funny and always a good read so a rightly choice to be freshly pressed!!! Keep on blogging :) I love to read them!

  11. Well I can see that getting freshly pressed has not caused you any fear of post success failure, or virtual stage fright, because here you are, just as funny and entertaining as ever! Congratulations! :-)

  12. Yay! I was so happy to see that you’d received some recognition a little more substantial than my awarding you with the VBAward, although I won’t lie, it did feel kind of good to know that my taste coincides with that of the Frehly Pressed gods. Enjoy the limelight and if things get a little out of control, remember to Just Say No. Congrats, my friends!

  13. As spiderman’s uncle said “with great power comes great responsibility.” You’re at a crossroads…you could go the way of Lindsay Lohan or you could go the way of….um…..some celebrity who is not awful, but at the moment I’m at a loss to come up with a name.

  14. Before we know it, you’ll be coming out of your home wearing a huge pair of sunglasses and a scarf wrapped around your head, trying to pass off as anybody but yourself. Lol. I know I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: Congrats! :)

  15. You were FP’d? Where the hell was I? Congratulations! I have to comb back through and see which one. I’m so happy for you! You deserve that parade and you also deserve some Long John Silver’s, over there across the road from the marching band. Frozen fish sticks. Mmmmmmm. Now THAT’s fresh.

  16. Congratulations! I am hoping to be FP’ed sometime before I die. I try not to have too high expectations. Have you hired a publicist yet? You want to head off those tabloids at the pass, you know.

  17. I am in a band and I can confirm that we do develop psychic abilities over time. I am the longest-serving member in my band so my abilities are more developed than the rest, but as I am only the drummer no-one ever listens to me.

    The parade was done in honour of one of the local dinner ladies instead.

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