I will hike at least four new trails this year. In addition to the old favorites.
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Yes, I did it. You knew I would. I made a list of resolutions. I know it’s cliche. Have we met? So here they are, in no particular order.
1) When the seeds of doubt are sown, I will choose to not water them. I don’t water anything else. Why should doubt be special?
2) I will return special favors. At least once this year, I will pee in the cats’ bed and see how they like it.
3) This is the year that I will remember that kitty litter goes in the trash can, not the recycle bin.
4) A blog a day keeps the doctor away. And by doctor, I mean psychiatrist. And by “a blog a day,” I mean five days a week,
5) I will be in public the person that I am in private. Expect to see me in my pajamas a lot.
6) I will exercise daily and get in better shape. Playing the Wii and jumping to conclusions are considered exercise, right?
7) I will finish my book and look for an agent. The book I’m writing, not the one I’m reading. Although it would be fun to be represented for someone else’s book. Wonder if they could get me a cut.
8 ) I will not compare my progress to others, even if I am lapped by an old man with a 15 year old dog, either in real life or the literary equivalent.
9) I will not jump to the conclusion that my children want something when they go out of their way to do something nice for me. I will accept it for what it really is – that they know I am insane and must be humored.
10) I will learn a new language. That’s right, this is the year that I will learn to speak to teenagers.
11) I will drink more water. Add a little carbonation, caffeine, high fructose corn syrup, and it will be great! Throw in a splash of bourbon, and it’s practically anti-bacterial.
12) I will teach my cat to talk. She’s part Siamese, so I’m almost cheating on this one. She’s so chatty she’s almost speaking English already.
13) I will be more environmentally friendly. This year I will only buy books second-hand or in e-format. Unless J.K. Rowling comes out with a new Harry Potter. A girl’s gotta have some wiggle room, you know.
14) I will not let Phoebe occupy my husband’s side of the bed when he’s out of town anymore. Or let her wear his shoes. Or drink out of his coffee mug.
15) I will have an overnight getaway with my husband, just the two of us. Okay, three of us. Phoebe will want to come, too.
No coffee for Phoebe? No shoes? No fun. Why don't you love me?
I’ll be spending the next couple of days catching up and responding to comments. Thanks for hanging out with me this year. Looking forward to 2012.
Becoming Cliche 
Beautiful
Thank you. Happy New Year!
This is great! I got more than one belly laugh from this.
See! There’s your exercise for the day. I do what I can!
Now, we fully expect regular updates on the progress of your goals. 🙂
Jumping to conclusions is exercise- that’s a good one! My favorite- I exercise patience so often I should be a size 0.
Love it.
Me, TOO! Exercising patience is harder than a cage match with Billy Banks some days.
Fantastic. Happy 2012…may all your dreams come true.
Happy new year to you! It’s going to be a great year!
Ha ha…I wonder what my cat Skidmark would do (he’s Siamese) if I p’d in his bed? Hmm..wait he sleeps with me.
Yeah, best work on teaching him to speak. Less of a tendency to totally backfire.
This is great – made me laugh lots. My only resolution this year was to stop making resolutions, but I might adopt some of yours! Happy new year – can’t wait to read more of your posts in 2012…
I recommend peeing in the cat’s bed. I’ll let you know how the rest work out.
Beautiful! And if it’s any consolation, this is the least cliche list of resolutions I have ever seen. My favourite are the special favours. Thanks for the great laugh, looking forward to more of these in 2012.
Not cliche. Rats. I need to work on that. Should I have added I want to lose weight? Not my weight, of course. Putting the cat on a diet. But then I shouldn’t teach her to speak, because then she will only swear at me.
That was such a great list! I love how the resolutions are almost not doing anything at all, which is how I like it. It’s more a suggestion for thinking about maybe doing something different occasionally. Happy new year!
Wait a minute…It will take real effort to pee in the cat’s bed.
Very funny! Unless Phoebe is a person. And then it’s a little weird.
Now I wish Phoebe WAS a person. Weird is my middle name.
That does put a little twist on things.
Pingback: A Battery-Operated Halo, and an Award or Two « Kana's Chronicles
I’m happy to pass along to you the “Awesome Blog Content” Award–details at http://kanatyler.com/2012/01/02/a-battery-operated-halo-and-an-award-or-two/
Cheers! 🙂 Kana
That’s so cool! Thanks!
Pretty sweet list.
Thanks. I’m looking forward to digging into it.
Literally seconds before reading #8 (comparing your progress to others), I noticed how many followers your blog has, became consumed with envy and decided my blog was crap and a failure. Now I feel a little bad. I may have to jump to the bourbon portion of #11.
New rule for 2012: ALWAYS feel free to jump to the bourbon portion. Always. Any time. Unless you are driving.
This is great! I am echoing #1 and #4 and looking forward to the book!
You’re skipping #2? That’s the best one!
Thank you for starting my year off with a laughter…and I LOVE Phoebe!
Phoebe is just wonderful. She is so wise, and she doesn’t ask much. Just a sip or two out of Dad’s coffee mug when he’s not looking.
I love this New Year resolutions list! Lol. All of them are great. I was supposed to quote which among them is my favorite but I can’t choose! They’re all great and funny!
You must have skipped to 11b already. Good for you!
Lovely as Always…… Number 2 brought a big smile on my face that is denying to go away…..Happy New Year…..
Number two is so important. They need to know I feel the same way about them as they do about me. It’s like saying “I love you,” in cat.
SO MANY! Don’t overextend yourself!
Pacing myself for sure. I don’t want to get all perfect in the first half of the year.
ahahah this is hilarious yet great! Good luck with 2012!:)
It’s going to be the best year yet!
I can see that you have resolved to be very amusing in 2012. You were pretty funny for the last month of 2011 too. Keep up the good work! 🙂
This resolutions were a pleasure to read. Great and funny.
“I will be in public the person that I am in private”
I commend you! I myself try to be exactly who I am in real life as I am behind closed doors. However I do not think you will get the notice you are expecting by wearing PJs out in public. That is already done too much by slacker hipsters as it is. lol
Instead do like I do. Viking helmet, coconut bra and chainmail thong! (might want to shave for that last one)
Finally a use for that Viking helmet I got for Christmas! Excellent idea!
LOL! Now that is quite an image! Lol 🙂
Happy New Year! Great list! And what are Mr. Squish’s resolutions? 🙂
Squish has vowed to dismantle more furniture. He started with is bed. He has always been ahead of the game.
Cats can be so mean with their pee. Mine don’t do that but perhaps they’re plotting to. I’ll try to beat them to it.
I always recommend preemptive strikes.
Phoebe…what a sweetie…perhaps a decaffeinated coffee in a bowl instead?!
I think you’re brave to make resolutions, especially the blogging one…such hard work…good luck!
Happy New Year 2012 to you…thanks for my laughter fix for the day! :OD
She says it’s not the same as drinking out of dad’s mug. She feels somewhat lessened.