The Game We Play

I love games. We got to play my favorite one recently, and it’s a long game. Our longest round lasted four weeks. It’s challenging and entertaining. For most of us. This game is called “How Long Will It Take Daddy To Realize We Have A New Snake?”  Best. Game. Ever.

Notice that it is not called “Hide the Snake.” For a couple of reasons. First, I don’t want those kinds of search hits on my blog. Secondly, there’s no challenge in simply hiding it. There are dozens of places to hide creatures in this house where my husband wouldn’t find them for months. Where’s the fun in that? It’s far more exciting to set up the new pet exactly where it’s going to live for the rest of its life and see what happens. I’m never disappointed.

It’s not that my husband is unobservant. It’s just that he has been surrounded by scales for the last ten years, and he forgets what we already have. Reptiles just don’t register on his radar. Kids do, though, so I have been unsuccessful sneaking tiny people into the house without him noticing.

Before you ask, I have my limits. I get asked to adopt reptiles often, and most of the time, I say no. I am not interested in cricket-eaters, anything that requires ultraviolet light, is costly to feed, or gets large enough to consume one of the mammals. A girl’s gotta have her standards.

For this round, one of my snake-breeding friends offered me his surplus male rosy boa.  I enjoy this species, and it was one of the contenders when I was snake shopping back in October. It stays under three feet, costs around $100 a year to keep, and it’s my daughter’s dream snake. I said yes.

I met my friend in the parking lot of a large grocery store for pick up. For those of you not familiar with transporting snakes, they are usually transported in cloth bags or pillow cases that are tied off at the top


Given the size of my tiny snake and the fact that my friend sped off in such a hurry (he was late for his lab at the university, I swear!) , I am pretty sure that all of my neighbors passing by thought I was doing some kind of crazy drug deal. No matter. I took my new pet home.

He is beautiful. I call him Jasper. Yes, after that Jasper. Because he is pale, he is pretty, and we’re teaching him to quit trying to eat people. Seems fitting.

This round lasted only nine days, a bit of a disappointment over the last one. I think we can do better next time. Who’s in?

And here he is. Pretty, yes?



Update: I just heard from my husband. He read the blog and replied “I thought it was an empty cage. The game could have gone on forever.” You know what this means, right? I need to put empty cages in other rooms. Just to mess with him.

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45 thoughts on “The Game We Play

  1. You do realize that you actually SAID “hide the snake,” the term you were planning to not use in order to avoid creepy searches? Bwahahahahahaha!!!

    I would like an update post in a few days of all the nasty searches to your site. I might go do one right now, so when you let us know what they are I can comment, “THAT WAS ME!!!”

    That’s a fun game, too!

  2. I once played that game called “How long will it take my wife to notice there’s a woman hiding in the house?” when she came home unexpectedly early, but that game was no fun at all! And I’m just kidding! No such game was played, and I would much rather play your game with snakes. 🙂

  3. This absolutely cracked me up! You are clever if you can hide new pets from your husband…I can hide a lot of things – or he simply doesn’t notice, but a 3-ft. BOA – no way…

  4. Jasler is fabulous. I need to look into this ( I had lizards years ago…messy eaters). May I make a suggestion? Alittle added fun for your new game of placing empty cages around the house: start rotating the critters through so that some of the new cages are occupied at different times, see how long it takes for him to start questioning how many / if new ones are about. Oh, this is fun, thanks for sharing!

  5. My brothers and I once hid a pet mouse from my dad for several months. We probably could have kept it hidden for longer, except the mouse ruined the fun and died.

  6. At it’s height, our zoo had around 15 animals. This included everything from an Egyptian Uromastyx to a simple garter snake, toads, newts, Guinea pigs, rabbits, rats, cats and one very friendly, tolerant old beagle. When (if) my husband would notice a new family member, we always claimed it had been there all along.

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