Which Way Do I Go?

I’ve only just now shuffled the husband and last school-aged child out the door, and already I feel as though I’m on a roller coaster. I am now sitting with my cup of coffee and attempting to determine my mood for the day. This kind of decision cannot be left to the likes of me this morning, so I am going to trust you, my fabulous readers, to choose for me.

A summary of my morning, to help you make your decision.

Upon waking up, Squish refused to snuggle with me.  Daddy got the snuggly part of the toddler, and I got the frozen feet.

Got up too late to use the elliptical. Without an audience, anyway. After providing yesterday’s morning entertainment for my crew, while only burning off the equivalent of ten M&Ms, I swore never again. And now the machine is smirking at me. If there is one thing I hate, it’s a smug machine. The robot apocalypse will be hard on me.

Got peed on. Again. I have no idea how to change Squish from a setter to a pointer, and the kid thinks he’s Zorro. Cheerios in the potty is not an option. This is the child who dropped a handful of cereal into the water and declared “Mommy! I pooped!” and when I didn’t buy it, attempted to reach in and grab the rest of his snack.

Had a stand-off with a raccoon on the walk home from school. Following the advice of a marvelous fellow blogger I’ve drinking four glasses of water first thing in the morning. This practice has done incredible things for my skin, but does little for encounters with rabies vectors. I may or may not have lost bladder control, but I think he/she did, too. This round might have been a draw.

Phoebe, you're supposed to PROTECT us from it, not make friends with it! No,it can't come in.


Lost my cool with the kids for the most ridiculous reasons. Some days, I feel like I should be kept in a cage.

Discovered that we are out of toilet paper. The hard way. And it’s my own fault.

I have to go to Wal-mart. ‘Nuff said.

Squish gave up naps. Again, ’nuff said.

And now some good stuff.

Daughter discovered the sand boa resting on the rim of its cage.  You know the one. The snake we thought was entirely too small to reach the top of the cage, so we didn’t bother securing the lid with heavy objects. I’ll count a thwarted escape as a win.

Squish brings me book after book to read. He loves Mercer Mayer and Little Critter as much as I do. It just never gets old. He likes to sit down with a stack of them. That’s why my post almost never goes up before 9:00am.

Toy Story. Under the covers. Almost as good as a nap.

I have a movie date with the most marvelous friend tonight. Without kids. To see a movie that I don’t get tired of. Win:win:win.

So here is where you come in. My future is in your hands. Choose carefully. Squish is stuck with me for a few more hours. 


36 thoughts on “Which Way Do I Go?

  1. It’s nice to know there’s other mom’s out there who belong in cages. The other day I lost my cool with the kids and I’m sure they wanted to lock me up for the day.
    Good luck with the elliptical.

  2. My a.m. sucked as well – I woke up 45 min early to take 9 yr old to choir practice. 15 min after getting up she says “oh, we dont have choir today”. By the grace of God, she did survive; but I guarantee she will never forget to tell me the night before ever again! Hope your day is better….

  3. “I have a movie date with the most marvelous friend tonight. Without kids. To see a movie that I don’t get tired of. Win:win:win.”
    Stay focused on that one, and barring an unexpected disaster, your mood should stay up! I’m rootin’ for ya, my delightfully funny friend! 🙂

  4. I went with great mood because you wrote another fabulous post; I read it in bed curled up with a hot cup of coffee and found it especially entertaining because I was still in bed (sorry your day will come, and you will really appreciate it when you read entertaining blogs about parenthood from bed). You inspired me to get out of bed (in a few minutes) and go the gym where I will be thinking about the robot apocolypes and laughing out loud (you can glean some joy from the fact that my gym mates will think I am crazy for giggling on the elliptical). You have also convinced me AGAIN that my fear of snakes is a healthy one.

    So, I voted for great mood because you were a great start to my day.

  5. Losing your cool with your kids is normal and in my opinion…good for them. A little healthy fear can come in handy when your kid starts screaming “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” after getting a look at your crazy eyes. 😉

  6. How old is Squish again? Just asking because I am trying to gauge whether I can look forward to Cheerios in the bowl now or whether I just got lucky and my little monster simply skipped this phase.
    Oh, and I voted good mood because I think my morning with my plane taking off twice (as they had some technical problem in midair and had to turn around), thus delaying me by almost 3 hours and making me miss half of the important meeting I was supposed to attend trumps getting peed on. Not by much though.

    • He’s three. I am afraid we’ve missed the window on teaching aim. And how sad is it that I immediately felt better knowing I didn’t have to fly ANYWHERE to day. Hope your day improves!

      • Well, actually the rest of the day went pretty painfree, thank you. And, since we are only 2 3/4, I am now totally looking forward to more fun and games with toilets, yay!

  7. My two year old is convinced she doesn’t need to nap. And she’s trying very hard to convince me by climbing out of her crib every three minutes like she’s an acrobat or something. Oh, toddlers. I’m new here…looking forward to reading more!

  8. Coming from Australia, I have no knowledge of raccoons. But that photo made me squee!
    Look at him – all cold and wet with his big sad eyes…and that “I promise I’ll be good” look.

    Well, maybe it’s a good thing I don’t live in the US, I’d be the crazy raccoon lady!

    …He really does look very snuggly… a squish substitute?

  9. I must agree, that’s a cutie and we don’t have any where I live too, but unfortunately the cutest little things can be the most destructive, cute disasters they should be called. I have a friend whose hedgehog peed on her hair or was it #2? Grose, I know.
    Squish will eventually grow out of wetting the bed and you wouldn’t be a pee sponge any longer, but the day is yet to come (I speak from experience with my little sis, no one wanted to share a bed with her till she out grew it)
    As for the machine, you show it who’s boss! I think it would that would make a good series: Woman vs. Machine.
    I’ve awarded you with the Versatile Blogger Award, keep the wonderfully refreshing posts coming 😀
    I hope tomorrow holds a better day for you. Cheers!

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