Achieving Peace and Harmony

My sister-in-law is fantastic. She’s funny and smart, and she gives the most wonderful gifts. Her choices are thoughtful and carefully considered, always appreciated. She tries to find the perfect gift for each person.

Best present EVER! I love it! It's mine, right? I don't have to share it? Because I love it, and it's MINE! Hands off!


Unfortunately, we’re at the phase where all gifts simply must be identical, and I don’t have the heart to tell her. She bought something truly awesome this time around, and my life is no longer worth living. Every single day, it’s the same routine:

“It’s MINE!”

“No, it’s mine! ”

“It is not! Kris got it for ME!”

“Well, I’m just using it! I’m not going to hurt it! You’re supposed to share!”

“You never share with me!”

“You like the other one, anyway.”

“I do NOT! I want THAT one! It’s MINE!”

And on, and on, and on, and on.  Every single day. I am at my wit’s end. If this pattern continues, I will have to take matters into my own hands and buy my husband his own Contigo coffee cup so he will leave mine alone. It. Is. MINE.

It is dark, sleek, easy to hold, and you have to push its buttons to get anything out of it. I call it The Jacob.

Edward is a little jealous.

I will quit naming things after Twilight characters when people quit rolling their eyes when I do. Don’t reinforce irritating behavior. I am incorrigible. Don’t incorrige me.

52 thoughts on “Achieving Peace and Harmony

  1. That one is MINE! Kris told me so! She told me it was accidentally got put in with your packages, but it was meant for ME. It doesn’t matter that she’s never met me and has no idea who I am. It’s MINE!

    Another funny one, Cliche! Please don’t ever stop writing. As the mother of 2 teens girls, I count on you to give me something to laugh about when they are behaving particularly “teenish.”

  2. I think it’s definitely time for one of your passive-aggressive solutions to show your husband his place and achieve peace an harmony.
    As to the name thing, just make sure you’re not running out of characters. You might have to write to Stephenie begging for another sequel…

  3. Love it! And now I think I need to bring home a Jacob of my very own.

    In related news, I’ll soon know whether my husband reads your blog.

  4. We both have similar cups. Mine is the most awesome-est ever. In August, I can put iced tea in it at lunch time and it will still have ice in it late-afternoon. And its well known no one is allowed to touch it. My sweetie’s is a different case. I’m not sure its the cup or just a case of coffee addiction ( and not really willing to find out).

  5. Don’t incorrige me? Love it! I laughed out loud. I’ll have to borrow that one for use at the next family get together. What a fun post — thanks for the laughs!

    I once read “Property Laws of a Preschooler.” It went something like this, “If I am holding it, it’s mine. If I put it down, it’s mine…” you get the picture. 🙂

  6. Heather you are so funny…Sharing is caring, no? hehehehe…There is nothing worse than not receiving the perfect gift & seeing others in your household prancing around with the PERFECT GIFT…:-)

A penny for your thoughts! And by penny, I mean a warm-fuzzy in your heart.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s