Why Am I Here?

There are so many ways in this life to get where we want to go. A studious nature and hard work can take us to college. Diligence (and some luck) can bring us to the job of our dreams. The road less traveled can get us lost in the woods. And googling freaky phrases can apparently lead you here.  If you lose the bookmark to my site, never fear. You can always find me by searching the following:

And you thought this was going to be an angst-riddled post about the meaning of life that leaves us depressed and drinking heavily. It’s not.  I’m saving that one for Valentine’s day. Or maybe your birthday. 

“Why is everyone sick on Idol” That’s an excellent question, actually. Having never watched an episode of Idol, I have no answer. I know this person left my site disappointed and sick at heart. I will strive to do better.

“Toddler shame, embarrassment, and guilt facial expressions” I have you covered here. I am the expert in toddler ethology. Need to know what those expressions look like? Search no further.

Guilt? Check. Shame? Check? Embarrassment? Got you covered. Goggles? You know it.

 

“I hope my passive aggressive husband dies” Two words for you, friend. Seek help.

“To let me know – is it aggressive to use” I do not know if it is aggressive to use, but I do know that the use of an incomplete search term is passive-aggressive. I have no idea what you’re thinking of using, and it’s driving me batty. Well done.

“Has Wal-mart gotten any better” In a word, no.

“Latch hook kits dogs playing poker” I did mention such a kit in a blog once. And now I am wondering if they  really exist. Somebody send me one. (I’m on the first page of that search. I rock.)

“Cliches immortaity” This term upsets me on more than one level. It hurts my heart that they found my blog with a misspelling. But what if spell check actually failed them? I will not sleep tonight.

“Neuter your truck” Yes, please. I wrote a blog on this topic many months ago, and the issue is still close to my heart. Neuter those trucks.

“Birthday wishes fat people.” Thank you for that. Grandma, I know that was you.

“How to work out moles” Teeny tiny dumbbells.

“Baby grow stupid” I am a big believer in dumbing kids down. Smart ones are harder to keep up with.

“Thing that have not come in the market that can be useful for us and only in cartoon Rosie the Robot comes to mind. I got five hits on that term. It’s obviously a burning question.

Thanks, Wikipedia

 

“Gojo/gojo handsfree handset/gojo infomercial” Someone underestimated the popularity of this product. I get multiple hits every single day, so it must be great. I don’t have a cell, but I hope to use it to hold my pillow. Nothing like hands-free nap-readiness.

“Santa Claus doesn’t forget illustrator” And he shouldn’t. I know some very nice illustrators who deserve a visit from him.

“Santa pooping down chimney” Sometimes a lump of coal just doesn’t cover it.

 

Enjoy challenging fellow bloggers? Drop by Snobbery and add your weirdest or most popular search term(s) in her comments. She will turn them into haiku (low-ku) for my your reading pleasure.

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36 thoughts on “Why Am I Here?

  1. Ha, you definitely get the prize for the weirdest search terms! Compared to yours, my wildest one “nude bored housewifes” is soooo lame. I do take pride in getting the most hits on “boys in tights” or derivatives though because that is one of my favorite posts.

  2. Every week I get hits under the search “erotic art” because I once posted about my son drawing a penis. I think my dad blog is probably not what those searchers are looking for!

  3. I really hope I never meet any of the people who do these bizarre searches. However, what if they were aliens from outer space trying to communicate with us in their awkward, English as zillionth language?

  4. Ahaha this is awesome. I always hate getting behind on your blog because it’s such a daily treat, but the joy of days like today when I get to read SIX WHOLE POSTS without having to wait between them is just positively reinforcing this behavior. Dah.

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