Can You Ever Really Know Me?

Friends, I have been issued a challenge this weekend by The Hobbler. Ever play the game “Two Truths And A Lie?” We’re taking it to the next level. Which of the following are true, and which are only wishes?

1) The dance troupe I toured with did a performance in Japan. For the wife of the chairman of the board of Toyota motors.

2) I was once bitten by a baby  caiman. When I was using it in an education program.  Its teeth only broke the skin, but I gained a new respect for crocodilians.

3) I once swallowed a live goldfish on a bet. And I promptly threw it up. The victim, however, did not survive. I still feel really guilty, and it hurts my heart to even think about it.

4) I nearly missed my high school graduation to go to a dog show. My mom bribed me into collecting my diploma at the last second.

5) I am turning a walk-in closet into a reptile room. So I will finally have a place to breed woma pythons. The closet is already outfitted with wire shelving and two electrical outlets. Just waiting for my income tax refund to finish the work and buy the snakes.

6) I once used the “f” word in a paper for high school English. And still got an “A.”

7) I have a potted fern with a history. I started it from a spore that came from one of the flower arrangements at my grandmother’s funeral.

8) My most prized possession is a hard-cover first edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. It was an accidental find at a used book store, and I only paid $30 for it! It’s one of only three things in our safe deposit box.

9) Despite my number of posts on passive aggression, like this one, this one, and this  one, I am not actually passive aggressive. I am pretty direct. With a devious imagination.

10)  When I visited Los Angeles, the only celebrity I saw was Judy Tenuta. And she was drunk. Without her accordion.

11) I once bottle-fed a litter of deer mice. They eat every 45 minutes, so I had to sneak them into work in a cooler.

12) I hatched a clutch of garter snake eggs that were found in a pile of mulch. Seven of the nine eggs hatched, and the babies were released at the site where the eggs were found.

Any guesses? I’m not even telling you how many truths there are. How well do you know me? Even better, how well do I know YOU? I challenge you to do a fib post of your own. If you do, send me the link so I can make my guesses!

Truth or wish? This blog is ghost-written by Kisses the Cat


Update: If you want to find the truth without having to dig around too much, click here. Because I’m a giver.


44 thoughts on “Can You Ever Really Know Me?

  1. I’m guessing most are true with the exceptions of #1, #5 and #11.

    #10 has to be true because I find it impossible to believe anyone would even think to make that up! lol

  2. I think 6 and 8 are the fibs. Mostly because I can’t imagine you ever swearing, and if you had a first of PS, surely you’d have told me by now?!

    If that one’s true, I’m not sure we can be friends anymore. 😦

  3. I don’t believe you swallowed a goldfish because that’s mean. I also don’t believe you used the F word but I wish you had and if you did I would like you to post it. I totally believe the rest of it (including who really typed this post), but only because I want it all to be true. So bad.

  4. Well, sadly I only know you through your posts so, based on those, I am guessing that the goldfish one is true because I don’t think you would wish for it. And the walk in reptile closet is a wish because otherwise you would have mentioned it before. I’ll have to get back to you on the others, once I read a few more posts…

  5. I’m hoping all the reptilian ones are false because they all creep me out tremendously, but I suspect they are true. I guess if most of them are true, you must be an interesting person. I’m not sure I could collect enough interesting but true statements. But it’s worth a thought.

  6. I hope that the python room is neither a wish nor a truth. That only sounds healthy if you are one of those guys who are very close to God and like to let snakes bite them to test your faith (that’s legit, right?).

  7. I’m guessing 4, 5, and 10 are lies. I don’t have any great explaination for those choices, but I’m going with my gut. I hope you are having fun with this…all the apprehension of trying to figure out everyone else’s is stressing me out a little. Ok, so that was a lie, but I am trying to get a little better at lying. 😉

  8. I would guess all of these are true. (I can see myself reacting in the same way to the goldfish thing and would’ve skipped my graduation if I so much as saw a stray kitten in the vicinity that needed tending to.) The first one I would say a definitive “no” to — dry, witty people usually aren’t that coordinated — but I don’t want to insult you by assuming you couldn’t pull it off 😉

  9. I’m going to guess that they’re all true EXCEPT the goldfish one. Although that is so crazy, it’s just the type of thing that probably IS true.

    On another note, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog so much that today I’m giving you the Liebster Blogging Award. Check out my post for details at:

    Actually, my favorite recent post you’ve is the one about your Kindle Fire. If you haven’t read it, go back and read “Dear Amazon, You Can Have My Kindle Fire Back.” Good stuff!

  10. I have no idea. But even if only one of them is true- it would still be interesting. Maybe I guess all of them are true, because that would be a lot of work to come up with fake stories, right?

  11. Heather you are so so so funny…I so enjoy reading your posts…I was very entertained reading this one but have no idea what’s fib and what’s not..I hope you confess in your next post:-)

  12. What a great idea! If I can slurp enough coffee (and possibly wine) to get my stories straight and subsequently twisted, I’m going to follow your lead! I’ll be sure to link back. PS – I think everything might be true with the exception of swallowing the fish. I just don’t think you could swallow a live fish. I wouldn’t be shocked if you swallowed an already deceased (yet still “acceptably” fresh) fish on a huge dare but I can’t imagine you swallowed a live one. 🙂

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