Powering Through

The time has come. I’m all about arbitrary deadlines. It’s even more fun when I’m the one who gets to set them. And so I did. I issued Squish an eviction notice. He has been my roommate for over three years now, and it’s time for both of us to move on, so I set the date. I announced to the family that by Easter, Squish would be full-time resident in his brother’s room. The boys were thrilled.

"We are best brudders!" And now they're roommates.

Since sleeping in strange quarters can be a little discombobulating, I thought it might be easier to have a test-run, and so we did. Friday night. And now I sit at my computer feeling like I have been hit by a truck and wishing there was a way to mainline caffeine.

Did he stay in his new bed? Yes. Was he quiet? Sure. Did he go to sleep easily? Not so much. He was still awake at 10pm. Did he wake at 5:45am all raucous and ready to go? Um, yeah.

A normal person would put him back in his regular bed  for a few days to allow us all to recover before attempting again. So of course, I didn’t do that. Blame sleep-deprived stupidity if you want (I do), but Squish has now taken up permanent residence in the bottom bunk in his brother’s room. You know why? The time change.

Daylight Saving Time was a great idea in an agrarian culture, allowing farmers to take advantage of natural light. And don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of gaining an extra hour of sleep in the fall, but moving the clock ahead in the spring wrecks my life for weeks. Kids don’t understand going to bed while the sun is still shining. It takes ages for everyone to adjust. It was that very thought that spurred the decision to launch him for good.

I can either spend two weeks adjusting to new bedtimes, and then mess him up all over again with a move, or I can just do it all at once. I am ripping off the band-aid, friends. If I have to be miserable for awhile, at least there will be a big-ole light at the end of the tunnel.

My plan was simple. Keep the kid awake all day, run him around until he is exhausted, and then he’ll be simply begging to go to sleep early. So simple. Never confuse simple with easy. I chickened out yesterday at noon when he was weeping over a chicken nugget he never had and put him down for a nap. As a result, he didn’t go to sleep until after 10pm again. And lost an hour of sleep to boot.

Gosh. They're so much cuter when they're sleeping.

So today, he is wrecked, and we are determined. We are tag-teaming with the little critter so that neither of us loses our minds completely. Although my husband seems to have disappeared altogether now that I think of it. We just have a couple of hours left to go until we can send him to dreamland. We can do it.

For your reading pleasure, I share with you the discussions that have led to meltdowns today.

 Whether or not he may knock his teeth out. To his credit, he did attempt a compromise by asking “Maybe I can knock my teeth out another day? Pwease?” Bonus points for good manners.

 A sudden conviction that he is broken. And can only be fixed with duct tape.

 Whether or not his toy tractor will, indeed, cut grass. 

 The social acceptability of going to church naked. Or in swim trunks.

The proper age at which a child may walk to the playground by himself. Here’s a hint. It’s not three.

The inability visit to the public library for a new Bob the Builder DVD. Although I understand. I love the library, myself.

His lack of attendance at group therapy. Eavesdropping on grownup discussions will only leave you disappointed, little friends.

The inedibility of Mercer Mayer books. And my refusal to eat one myself. I am unreasonable.

We are hanging on by our teeth, but in a few weeks, life is going to be GREAT! I won’t have any excuse for not folding laundry at night anymore. Oh, wait…

34 thoughts on “Powering Through

  1. Attending church naked is only allowed if it’s accompanied by someone – the nude person or an attendant – loudly declaring “Behold! God’s most glorious creation!” as you enter.

  2. Well there are some meltdowns that could have certainly been avoided… How come he can’t knock out his own teeth? Gees, mom. You’re no fun at all. 😉 Hope he starts sleeping soundly very soon.

  3. Beware bunk beds as the offspring grow older! They become sources of aggravation and brutal games of dare.

    “dare you to jump from the top bunk”
    “dare you to leap from the top bunk to the ceiling fan”
    “dare you to jump from the top bunk to the laundry basket, bet you miss”

    • Yep. The bunks have been with us for 6 years now. Our goal is to convince the youngest that the manufacturer will not allow them onto the top bunk until they are six. At which age, they graduate to their own room. It has worked so far!

  4. Just yesterday I said to myself, “Wow, it’s probably been 3 or 4 months since Tucker has snuck into my bed at night.”…. Good job thinking about that Mom! Totally jinxed myself!! Woke up this morning to stiff legs, and realized, there was an 8yr old boy laying on them. And somehow, he now takes up much more space than he did the last time he snuck in here. Remind me that these days will someday be missed!

  5. I’ve said it before, when my kids are teenagers, I will be paying them back for all of the sleep I missed when they were young. Who do they think they are keeping us up all night and wanting in our beds? I hope that sleep comes very soon.

  6. Not only do I enjoy your writing, but respect you as a parent….however, you may have made a classic mistake by deciding to take on the move so near the time change 🙂 Some kids do not seem affected, others (like a 6 yr old inhabiting our home) is acting as if jet-lagged from a nonstop flight from down under!
    My thoughts are with you …

  7. I read somewhere (and it could be completely made up) that daylight savings time was invented by Roosevelt’s team during the depression. They thought it people had more daylight after their work day was done, they might do things and spend money and get the economy moving again.

  8. love it! my youngest will be evicted this summer! We’ve prepped by putting a toddler bed next to ours… it’s a step in the right direction. One that he uses as a stepping stool to climb back into my bed.

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