Where Have You Bean All My Life?

There are days when I would sell him to the circus, and look. He's ready. And before anyone calls DCS, it's a stuffed gator.

In the last couple of weeks, Squish has taken toddler-itis to whole new levels. I find myself looking at this little dude and asking “Who are you, pod person, and where is my Squish?”  It has been a struggle to, as the experts say, find his currency. Unless that currency is small unmarked bills, which is about the only thing I hadn’t tried. Until yesterday. They were a gift from God, or at least from one of the kids in the youth group at church. Yellow jellybeans. And they are magic beans.

I have mentioned before that no one beats Squish at savoring treats. He keeps them as a pet. Today, he carried around his little bag of lemon beans for several hours. Oh, the power! All that was required to nip the naughtiness in the bud were the words “Do I need to take your jellybeans until you can make better choices?” I could have asked the kid to walk across fire, and he would have. As long as jellybeans were waiting on the other side.

The treats worked so well that I want to buy more, but I know it’s a slippery slope. If I let the bean habit continue, where does it end? I can hear the conversation now:

Squish: Mom, I just got expelled from the university for a hazing prank.

Me: That’s it, son. I am taking your jellybeans back until you untangle that kid’s underpants from the flagpole and let him down.

But for now I’m so tempted to stick with the beans. At least until after Easter.

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32 thoughts on “Where Have You Bean All My Life?

  1. You are brilliant.. when my kids were lilttle i would put TWO jelly beans beside their plates at dinner time. If they ate up, they could have the beans. If they did not they went back in the jar so we could try again tomorrow. TWO jellybeans.Their colour choice of course. It always always worked. And still amazes me.
    When i was a teacher I would say to my students as they walked through the door. You all have an A for today. All you have to do is keep it! And I would get out the roll book and as I called their names and they said present Miss, i would write a big A in the column and that worked too..
    And these were some of the meanest roughest kids you can imagine. but they had an A and they were going to keep it.
    c

  2. I saw that picture and freaked out a little bit inside… Just because it seems like something he might be brave/silly enough to try!
    Your magic beans sound perfect!

  3. First it’s jelly beans. Then Jolly Ranchers. Pretty soon the boy’s taking ACT tests for the athletes in exchange for jumbo size boxes of Mike and Ikes. Stop the insanity!

    (Just kidding. I raised three kids using bribery as practically my only parenting tool. If it works, use it!)

  4. Dude, that not only worked on me then, it works on me now. Although promising me a treat works even better than threatening to take one away; I’m only a mediocre treat-hoarder. (I have poor impulse control when it comes to delicious things. I have no idea why I’m not 900 pounds.) My boyfriend uses this against me on a regular basis, which would be terrible if not for the fact that I don’t mind, you know, doing all the dishes as long as there’s an eclair in it for me…

  5. I have a 3 year old DEFIANT tyrant. (Whom I really truly love to pieces) – I had to take him to his sister’s soccer game this week. Alone. While taking care of a 3 month old. Alone. Just so happens that I too had bought a magic bag of beans that day. He not only stayed as close to me as possible so as not to miss the opportunity to eat the carefully rationed beans, but we had a good time as he proudly named the color of each one. He was happy and behaved for the entire hour! I say save them for the situations when they’re totally necessary and go for it! ^_^

A penny for your thoughts! And by penny, I mean a warm-fuzzy in your heart.

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