I’m typing this post on my brand new computer. Don’t get all excited and try to locate the GPS coordinates to my house in the hopes of stealing a valuable piece of machinery. It’s never safe to assume that “new” means “top-of-the-line-Mac-daddy.” Especially when it comes to me. I haven’t used a Mac since I was 14, and I’m not wealthy in the mood to relearn a system. It’s a PC. And I feel like a filthy cheater.
For the first time since the old lap-top’s battery bit the dust two (or three?) years ago, I am not tied to a wall when I write.The cord for the old Dell has been replaced once already, and if the cord is breathed on wrong bumped by kid or dog, the computer dies an instant death. I should be delighted that I charged this bad boy yesterday, and it’s happily ticking along. But I’m not. It feels somewhat indecent to be sitting and typing away in Panera with my new toy while Old Faithful languishes at home.
Yes, I said Panera. Isn’t that what the cool kids do? Drag their machines to Panera for the magic cup of coffee that buys them six free hours of wi-fi and blog? Does this make me a hipster now? As you answer, please ignore the Gryffindor messenger bag I used to tote the thing in here. And the bag of bagels sitting on the table waiting for me to take them to the church brunch tomorrow. And the fact that it’s not a Mac. I’m totally cool, right? Maybe it’s safer not to answer.
This new computer has lots of fancy features, a gajillion times the memory of the old one, plants vs zombies (which I definitely think I should try), and it even has a built in time-travel feature. It must, because it allows WordPress to save my drafts two full minutes before my computer’s clock says I’ve even written them. Time travel rocks. But what it doesn’t have is my enormous collection of photographs. So for awhile, the only pictures you see of me will look like this:
I know. Dead ringer. Adidas track suit and everything. Yes, I drew this myself. I even put five fingers on each hand. I was going to stop at four, but I go the extra mile for my readers.
I am sure that over time, I will fall totally in love with my new computer. But I will never learn to love Panera and the horrible, horrible jazz they play on their muzak. I think I have to leave now. Before I kill someone.
Becoming Cliche 
Panera is the epicenter for hipsters.
Oh good. I was afraid I’d be a day late and a dollar short to cash in on the hipness.
Congrats on you new technology. I am jealous.
I will savor that for a moment. No one has ever been covetous of any technology I possess!
Just tell people it’s not a Mac because you built it yourself, custom.
That’s right. Out of tinkertoys and bubble gum.
Hi,
It can be fun learning about a new computer, but frustrating at times as well, 😀
Oh and I do like your self portrait not bad at all.
So far, so good. I’m not just getting used to a new computer, but a new operating system as well. Keeps me young, right? RIGHT?!
Wooo! New computer day is the best! Or…I would imagine so, since I’m still saving for something that still has two control keys. One day.
I’m still not quite sure what to do with a computer whose “j” key doesn’t skitter across the floor at inopportune times.
My cats would be happy to fix that for you.
So would mine. They’re givers like that.
I had the same troubles with my old Dell laptop. But instead of it not functioning when it was breathed on wrong, it didn’t function when barometric changes it disliked occurred. Such princesses, these compys are.
I loved the Dell. Like a child. I loved it.
Lucky you, well even if you hate the music at least you are looking cool! I hope you are typing fast while looking nonchalant, this is also very important! c
I have been practicing “nonchalant face” in the mirror. It’s not pretty, but I will master it!
Cant really comment – I rely on my son to keep me hip (or as he puts it “not embarrassing in public”).
My daughter finds me too embarrassing to even teach. It’s both sad AND funny.
I am soooo jealous of your new technology. No matter the brand or form. My laptop is still in a box awaiting hubby to mail to be fixed. (He bought it, he called and got the info… ) I should just get the info and do it myself! Congrats on yours! Even if it was used while listening to musak.
Thank you! It’s a triumph, to be sure. I’ve saved a long time for it. I should get it out of the box again.
They play music at Panera? I’ve always been too busy eating my cinnamon crunch bagel to notice, I guess.
Maybe they cranked it because they’re trying to get rid of me.
You are the coolest. Would you bring me a brownie?
A brownie? Not a bagel? If they have brownies at Panera, I am so getting one!
this got a smile out of me
That made ME smile!
Like I tell Mbot and Gbot, a really cool kid is one who’s nice to everybody, even the little kids, and doesn’t switch friends each day. So, you’re probably cool, but not because of the new machine.
I try not to switch friends too often. I have trouble remembering which ones owe me money.
Nice one!
I’ve written a piece on an awkward encounter with a scientific calculator, read it right here: http://bulletinamaelstrom.wordpress.com/2012/04/10/an-awkward-first-date-with-a-scientific-calculator/
Ciao!
I love panera. I live in a small town where places like panera are only dreams that we hear the city folk have.
We are in the middle of a veritable metropolis. We’ve got at least THREE Paneras. Or are they Starbucks?
It’s hard to say was it full of burnt drinks or burnt bread?
Burnt drinks. That’s Starbucks, right?
yep. mmm.. I can taste it now.
I have 7 AM Saturday writing dates with another novelist friend at the Panera between our suburban houses. We get there when they open and freeze our butts off in their refrigerated restaurant for the chance to have a couple-few hours of dueling laptops away from our young children and maybe, just maybe, get some chapters done. The ambient chatter reaches a level of distraction even I can’t tune out by 9:30. But good god, I’ll take it if it means I can get some time to write away from the rest of my life’s obligations.
That sounds like heaven!
I have to admit, life could be worse, tired though I am! (Of course, teaching high school full-time and having a husband and two little kids drains my energy, too.)
Haha! My laptop chord has to be held in a loopy-loop to make it charge. If you move, even a millimeter, connection lost! I know I need to upgrade… but I just hate to because the second I do, well you know what happens, the bigger better laptop goes on sale, and you can’t take yours back because you already “have stuff on it”!!
It’s amazing what we can adapt to.
I predict that you’re gonna learn to love going cordless. Especially after the negative experiences you’ve been having with your power cord on your original PC. That stuff would drive me right over the edge!
Wait a minute… I’m already over the… Oh, never mind!
See, that’s my fear. That all this magic will be wasted on me because I’ve already gone ’round the bend.
I love my laptop, but it can be tough on the eyes because of the smaller screen. No Panara for me though. 🙂
My kids are now on the hunt for the free wi-fi. Apparently a McDonald’s has it.
This is brilliant, and can i just say, yes. You are cool and well done.
Thank you! Thank you very much!
Ha, we eat lunch at Panera a lot and my job is to annoy all the hipsters with their laptops with two kids eating a bagel and commenting on any and everything like the color of their lamp hanging over the table versus the color of the one hanging over the hipsters table (pink is prefered to orange). But congrats on the new laptop! My current laptop has duct tape involved in the charging so I may join you someday. No Mac for this poor hippie chick either 🙂 I love this post btw!!