An All Time Low

It’s that time of year again. Along with the curse of pollen-induced allergies and uncertain weather, spring has added another misery to my life. It is now pledge week on NPR. It hurts me. I turn on the car radio desperate for the sound of an adult’s voice a little news, and what do I hear but local and national show hosts saying nothing newsworthy (or interesting) whatsoever.

Pledge week is like that awesome free game that’s pre-loaded onto the computer. You’re having a great time, and then suddenly you get the little message saying that’s all you can do without giving them money. Game over. Curse you, Blaster Ball NPR, with your teaser tidbits followed by pleas for cash! If I wanted to listen to someone endlessly asking me for money, I’d let the kids watch the hours of advertising on cable kids’ programming.

Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes it’s nice to have a bit of a break from hearing which political candidate has made a horse’s behind of him/herself, but if I had a choice, I wouldn’t replace it with awkward ad-libbed conversations on the virtues of Shostakovitch. Because he doesn’t have that many as far as I’m concerned. I’m a Telemann gal, through and through. TMI?

I thought the hosts had reached the bottom of the awkward and embarrassing barrel as they heckled each other over their favorite composers. Clearly, I was wrong. Today, at least a two-hour segment was dedicated to listeners’ pets. That’s right. People were asked to donate in the name of Fido and Rover. Hey, they appreciate public radio, too. They’re canines, not cretins, you know.

So now I am forced to get in on the act. If Millicent Muddlefuddle*** can donate a fiver in the name of Scooby, Whiskers, Mr. Mittens and Lulu Frisikipants, I can take the game up a notch and donate in the precious memory of my departed fur-baby. Well, fur-baby might be a bit of a stretch.

Yes, that's a hairless rat. Her name is Lady Godiva. Appreciate her beauty, please.


*** name was completely made up. I pinky swear.


38 thoughts on “An All Time Low

  1. She is appreciated… I had a dream about a rat the other night, but your rat is a whole lot cuter. I had a pet rat when I was a kid, but it was a white rat and not nearly as photogenic.

    NPR knows how to pull the heartstrings to get donations. I have a hard time with the St. Jude telethons and commercials. They make me feel so guilty that I have to donate. It is for a good cause, right?

  2. I hate their “since you enjoyed 51 weeks (or less, depending on how many membership drives they have a year) of listening for free, you really owe us something now” attitude. It makes me feel guilty for listening at all.

  3. Their banter is always so cheery and their voices so soothing. It’s hard to change the station despite that the content is nil. And then I feel horribly guilty the more I listen. We do donate to NPR every year — but probably, when they break it down for us freeloading listeners, not near enough.

    Lady Godiva — what a perfect name for a hairless rat. She’s beautiful.

    • I fixed it for you. Because that’s what friends do.

      I miss Lady Godiva. They are complete freaks of nature, and the evolutionary buck stops there, so they don’t live nearly long enough.

    • Lady Godiva was the sweetest. The girl couldn’t hold her licker. She groomed me incessantly. So wonderful!

      I did rescue a hairless that was confiscated as part of a case by animal control, and she had a totally different personality.

  4. I love homely pets, with the face only a mother could appreciate. !
    I cant take pledge week either, and do not feel guilty. I spend enough money buying all the books etc they talk about, making them sound so life changing that I dare not spend another moment without them. (Amazon must be getting a cut…)

  5. If they really want money, they should threaten people’s pets with bodily harm unless they donate. It works for Disneyworld.

    I have no idea what I’m talking about.

  6. I naked hairless rat named Lady Godiva! How clever! I like what I’ve heard of Telemann’s music, though I must confess it’s Chopin and Bach who I root for in the end, hah.

  7. I give once a year to NPR, and I would like them to leave me alone the rest of the time. I keep a James Taylor CD in my car, so I can switch to Sweet Baby James as soon as the pledge-foolery starts.

  8. I would take up a donation to purchase fur for that pitiful naked beast in that photo. She looks so cold. Yes, I tolerate the NPR fundraising – just barely. Fortunately it only lasts a day now.

  9. Ah, pledge week. So much irony. “You hate this and resent us and want to change stations, so that makes you not want to contribute, but if we DON’T do it you won’t contribute either…”

  10. I hate pledge drives! I wouldn’t mind so much if they said “Hey, we have expenses and need money”, but around here, it’s more like “We are so incredibly important; without us, your life wouldn’t be worth living. Send us your money. And your car. And leave everything to us in your will.”

  11. I’ve work on pledge drives and “Byronic Man” is right. If you just left it up to people in general to give consistently and generously without nagging them, they wouldn’t. It’s just human nature. The ones who have to work the phone banks HATE IT, but it is what it is–a necessary evil.

    (Now that I’ve seen your hairless wonder, I will not be able to sleep tonight!) Take care.

  12. Ha, ha, ha…I heard the NPR fund drive as well (via internet radio ALLLLL the way in China). It is annoying. I have no problems giving to NPR (and do) but the times when they blah blah blah about it is quite awkward to listen to.

A penny for your thoughts! And by penny, I mean a warm-fuzzy in your heart.

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