What’s For Dinner?

I’ve got just the thing. Black bean burgers. They take a little time, but they are super-cheap, really healthy, and even the kids like them.  Here’s what you need:

15 oz cooked black beans: You can buy them canned if you like. If you’re cheap particular like me and prefer to prepare your own, that’s 1 1/3 cup dried beans. I cook mine with salt, water, cilantro, cumin, garlic, and onion

1/2 onion, diced

2 slices of bread

1 raw egg

1/4C all purpose flour

Spices to taste (again, I like a little salt, garlic, cumin, and some chopped cilantro)

Cooking oil

See? Not much to it, right? Now here’s the fun part.

1) Caramelize your diced onion.

Okay, maybe that’s not caramelized. Maybe that’s scorched. Don’t cook yours as long. You don’t want them crunchy, you know.

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2) Feed the cats. Because their yowling is driving you to drink distraction.

3) Onions are now crunchy as corn flakes. Swear a little and dump them into mixing bowl.

4) What the heck. You love onions. And mushrooms. Slice the remaining half onion and saute as burger topping.

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But do try to remember that these are WHITE mushrooms. If you try to get them as dark as portabellas, you’re asking for crunchy onions again.

5) Fill cat’s water bowl. For the fourteenth time today.

6) Cube the bread slices and dump into mixing bowl with crunchy onion bits.

That’s right. I paid $1 for that cutting board. Only the best for me, baby.

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7) Intervene in small child’s flight demonstration.  Twice.

8 ) Sample caramelized onions and mushrooms. Repeat until they are nearly gone.

9) Add beans and raw egg to mixing bowl and mash it all together. Mix spices into flour, and then blend into the bean mixture. The flour and egg are literally the glue that holds it all together. Great image, right?

I use a potato masher. Or a ricer. I think it’s a masher, as I don’t believe I have ever riced anything in my life. Ricing sounds like a tactic used by the Chinese mafia.

10) Check kid’s homework. Take a moment to be grateful that school is almost over for the year.

11) Make burgers into patties. I didn’t take a picture of this part because my hands were covered with bean mixture. And it looked a little gross.

12) Answer phone with your elbows, and listen to long and unnecessary automated call from the school. 

12) Cook in oil on high heat, flipping ever few minutes. They’re done with they’re dark and kind of crunchy on both sides. I set them in the oil in big lumps, let them cook a few minutes, then flip and flatten with a spatula. Story of my life, you know?

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I really couldn’t tell you why it’s bubbling like that. It was the best oil Wal-mart had to offer, so I am sure there are no impurities. Cook it on high. HIGH. If you cook at a lower temperature, your burgers will be greasy.

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13) Serve. Yes, this means you have to share. I am truly sorry.

If you’re sneaky, no one else has to know about the onions and mushrooms.

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Now if you will excuse me, I am starving!

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39 thoughts on “What’s For Dinner?

  1. I had these in a restaurant – cant wait to try this !!!!!! (My cure for sharing is to just double the recipe)

    Oh, you left out a step….when do yell at the dog to stop rolling in leaves?

  2. I think I will give this a try! Of course I cannot tell my children what they are eating until AFTER they have eaten it. From your picture they look hamburger-ish enough to fly under the radar.

  3. Wow, those look really good! I can’t do anything in the evening until I feed the cats or they would probably kill me while I was trying to cook since they try and trip me every time I take a step until I do.

  4. I love black bean burgers. I make them at least once a month. My recipe is eh. It’s okay but I know I could improve on it. I may have to try this — I like the diced bread idea better than the bread crumbs in my recipe. And, bonus, the potato masher I use doubles as a playdough tool. Not really but my kids eye it every time they see it. One of these days they will wrestle it out of my cold dead grip.

    • You can find a potato masher at the thrift store for about $1. Buy them one of their own so you don’t have to sleep with one eye open wondering who’s going to off you to possess it.

  5. Sounds like cooking every night at my house! I really have a hard time believing that one day I’m going to miss that. Doesn’t cooking in peace with no interruptions sound dreamy?

  6. Awesome! Must try. And I prefer my caramelized onions a little on the burnt side anyway. Why is it that the school’s automated call always comes when I’m cooking dinner? Your answering phone with elbows is spot on, Mamma.

  7. I made something similar for dinner last night–pinto patties. I smash the beans in a cake pan–more flat surface so it goes a little faster.

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