I AM Mom Enough. So There.

Lots of us were shocked by the provocative article in Time magazine (or was it Newsweek? Or the Enquirer? Is the Enquirer still around?) called “Are You Mother Enough?” I know I was shocked. Stunned. Taken aback. I didn’t actually read the article, of course. Like most of America, I stopped at the cover. Because everyone knows that while you can’t actually judge a book by it’s cover, magazines are fair game. So I looked at the cover and drew my own conclusions.

Take the fact that the woman’s child is not attempting to disrobe her completely while he is nursing or sticking his free hand down the front of her shirt in an attempt to find Mommy’s missing belly button. The conclusion I drew here is that this woman must be some kind of voodoo priestess who exercises Jedi mind control. And she must be stopped. No normal child would let his mommy’s goodies remain covered if the opportunity to humiliate her should arise.

In addition to looking at the picture, I also read the title. Because I am investigative, if nothing else. And I asked myself the question. Am I mom enough? I think the answer is obvious. Especially if you read my title.

I am mom enough.

I nursed my kids for two years each. That’s about how long it takes to wean them to Kool-aid and Yoo-hoos.

I buy only organic milk. Which the kids use to wash down their Moon Pies. Just kidding here, folks. I don’t share my Moon Pies.

I carried Squish in a sling for six months. Because it made him stop crying. I like it when they stop crying.

I carry Squish in an Ergo now. Because it keeps him from touching things. I feel all tightly bonded-like to my kid when I don’t want to sit on his head for upending a display of apples at the supermarket.

I visit the farmer’s market every week. Where they have the most fabulous cinnamon rolls and danishes.

I cloth diapered. Because turds in my trashcan turned my stomach.

I co-sleep. Not with my kids. They kick. With my husband. And he appreciates it because the alternative for him is the garage, which has a weird smell and is kind of cold in winter.

I am into natural parenting. I guess. Because the opposite sounds like it would have to be unnatural parenting, which I imagine is like holding them upside down or feeding them plastic trains. I don’t do that. Though they sometimes eat the trains without being asked.

I practice attachment parenting. I think. I mean, I must. Because no matter where I am, there’s always at least one child attached to my leg. Even the bathroom. Bonus magnet points for the bathroom. And sometimes it’s not even my own child. I’m that attached.


All natural fruit for Squish’s popsicles. At least it’s natural somewhere. On some planet. It came from the ice cream truck, so how bad can it be?

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47 thoughts on “I AM Mom Enough. So There.

  1. How about coming up with a really unique and individual pet name for your kids? Squish counts in my book, so does “the girl child”.

    I got told off by a commenter on my blog the other day because I call mine my little monster. She remarked somewhat peeved “First, let me start by saying that my child is no monster. She’s my precious angel”. I didn’t know whether to keel over with hysterics or throw up. She should hear what the working title for number two is!

    Anyway, as far as I’m concerned you win the Mother Of The Year Award. Way to go!

    • Sandra, I haven’t read your blog, but your comment cracked me up. All children are monsters and angels. More often monsters. If that commenter only sees the angel she is delusional! Or perhaps she has a live-in nanny.

      • I just thought she was painfully humorless. Why did she ever read my blog?! Moreover, has she never watched Monster Inc.? That’s how cute and cuddly the little blighter is! Well, can be 😉

    • I like to meet kids who aren’t monsters. Or I would. If there were such a thing. Totally agreeing on the Monsters, Inc reference. Children are precious, adorable, and at the same time terrifying little creatures.

  2. Stop crying? mine are 19 and four and I am guarenteed tears from at least one of them daily. I actually had someone tell me I must have done a good job with the teenager when she reached 16 without being pregnant I told them she had reached 16 without having sex therefore if she had been pregnant it would have required a miracle whether I was a good parent or not lol I love being a mum and when I say a mum thats exactly what I mean I am not their best friend or their chauffeur or there to wait on them hand and foot but in many books now that makes me a bad mum…..

  3. Your posts never disappoint and always remind me to be glad my children are older now (even though that means I am older too.) Your home sounds like a lot of fun. 🙂 Except for the moon pies issue, I would say you are definitely mom enough. I keep my chocolate in my “bra” drawer. I finally found a place even Erik won’t look in.

  4. HAHAHAHAHAHA

    Most excellent post. My children are all grown up now but reading your post took me on a trip down to memory lane. Yes, I remember how it was to have one child attached to my leg wherever I went

    Thank you

  5. I nursed my 4 kids for 2 years each, too, but often folks didn’t even know I was nursing in public. There is a difference between natural and flaunting; and regardless how natural it is, to a guy a milk-loaded breast is still a breast. Just bigger! 🙂

  6. Love it! Three cheers for almost anything that makes them stop crying, and for farmers’ markets that sell baked goods!

  7. loved this article not only because you made me smile; but nice to see a down to earth mum who likes being a mum, i nursed all four of my kids for varying amounts of time with each, but more than that i just love that i created four best friends for myself , i love the company of my kids from the oldest to the youngest; each one has a diferent outlook and sense of humour and i count myself very lucky to have this many and they all get on ! mind its kind of a rule they either get on or i cross my arms and refuse to do anything til everyone loves each other again ^_^, nice to see a mum with a sense of humour as well; i do find i am surrounded by competetive parenting 😦 so its refreshing to find someone who like me just likes the simple pleasures of being with your kids and enjoy the day to day stuff, i love it , just all goes too quickly; they grow so fast the days just fly by!, i am now a follower of your lovely blog and look forward to more happy days you share with us, thank you

  8. I cannot believe they printed that rubbish!! Actually killed trees and used precious resources to process the paper, ink, etc. to print it. “Are you mother enough?” What nonsense! Thank you for putting them in their place, next to the turds in someone else’s trash can.

  9. you are brilliant.. you made me laugh.. as a mother of five .. and the queen of breastfeeding because i was too lazy to make up bottles from weird white powder and it is free and like designed for the baby and stuff. i loved this.. and i used cloth nappies too, i liked to see them lined up on the clothes line!! plus they are cheap! Ok i am weird!.. ni ni.. c

  10. I had to look up what an Ergo is. Back in the olden days (the 1990s) when my kids were little, we just had to carry them or let them knock things over. I should think about having another kid so I can have these cool toys. Hahahaha!

  11. I heard an interview with the doctor who wrote the book about Attachment Parenting. Most of what he said sounded reasonable. I guess Time was looking to shock. With dogs we don’t have to worry about any of that…lol…they are weaned by the time we get them. 🙂

  12. Attached to your leg? Mine were born with this unicorn thing on their foreheads so they can walk around all day with their heads attached linked up my butt. My 5-yr-old is only just now “detaching” from me. It’s nice not constantly tripping over kids anymore after 10 years.

    I enjoyed your post, Cliche. Keep ’em coming!

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