Of Mice and Repairmen

Which should have been the title of yesterday’s post. *sigh* But I will waste no time on regrets.

Yesterday, I had big plans. This is what my schedule looked like:

9:30 : Drop Squish at Parents Day Out

10:00 – 2pm : Write

So simple. A good, quiet solid four hours in which to write. It looked so great on paper. Things don’t always go according to plan. Here’s what actually happened:

6:00 Wake up and realize husband is throwing things out of the freezer. The worst has come to pass, and the refrigerator has died in the night.

6:01 Develop an awareness that I will be expected to participate in fridge cleaning if I get out of bed. 

6:45 Finally get out of bed because I need to make the coffee and breakfast before he returns from his run. I know you’re asking yourself what I’m doing making coffee when I gave it up a few weeks ago. But marriage is about give and take. I give him good coffee, and he takes my crap.

6:50 Search internet for repairman

6:52 Locate said repairman with A+ rating on website. And wait for a decent hour so I can call him. 

8:01 Call repairman. 

8:02 Call repairman.

8:03 Call repairman again. This guy MUST be good. His phone is always busy.

8:09 Finally reach repairman and schedule appointment.

8:09:30 Wonder if, perhaps, I have selected the wrong repairman when I am asked to spell my name four times. Slowly. Very slowly, and my last name only has six letters.

9:10 Leave early to take Squish to school because I have to pick up chocolate bars for his picnic.

9:20 Become aware that I have already forgotten about the chocolate bars and have passed all the grocery stores I am familiar with.

9:35 Arrive at school, chocolate bars in hand. But now I’m going to be late for the repairman.

9:55 I’m home! I fire up my computer in the hopes of getting some writing done while I wait.

10:15 Repairman arrives. He is very prompt, but also speaks no intelligible language. I have lived in the South my whole life and thought I had a handle on all the major dialects. I clearly do not. He sounds like a cross between James Earl Jones and a grizzly bear.  I just hope he can write the important information down.

11:00am Consult with repairman. Repairs will cost $750. Here’s a play-by-play because you know you want one.

“Sir, do you know what’s wrong with it?”

“Yes.” Insert long, incredibly uncomfortable pause.

“Can you tell me what it is?”

“It’s the box.”

“The box?”

“The box that runs everything.” I am now enlightened. He adds,  “It’s not worth fixing.”

11:05 Write check to pay for the opinion.

11:10 Beat head on desk.

11:45 Begin online search for new refrigerator. Compare brands, prices, special offers

12:45 Beat head on floor

1:00 Freezer is broken, and there is no ice. Wish I had thought of that before I beat my head on things.

2:30 Squish retrieved, the pair of us visit giant appliance store.

2:45 Though there are seven free employees, not a single one of them offers to help me. When I approach a salesperson, he leaves. Gosh, so do I.

2:50 Leave and drive to different store that is far, far away. 

3:15 Arrive at store and am greeted by two employees, both happy to help me.

3:16 Locate model I was looking for and start paperwork to purchase.

3:17 Employee tells me they will be happy to deliver my new appliance. At the end of July. It’s on backorder.

3:18 Poop a brick.

3:25 Select a floor model with a small dent. It has full warranty, a feature that I was actually looking for but the first one didn’t have.

3:30 Am told by employee that they will be happy to deliver it. In one week.

3:32 Beat head against refrigerator. Not mine, of course. And the dent I left means that someone else will get a nice discount.

3:35 Purchase my refrigerator. Ask for measurements. It’s taller than the other one.

4:30 Arrive home. Measure the opening the refrigerator will nestle in.

4:31 Measure again.

4:32 Measure again. Repeat twelve times.

The space under the cabinet is 70 inches. The refrigerator specs say it is 69 3/8. It is going to be a close one. It had better fit. I’ve run out of surfaces to beat my head against.

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55 thoughts on “Of Mice and Repairmen

  1. I’ve only just started blogging and following and already I’ve found someone who has similar days to me, so relieved, although I’m yet to blog all the details as I can’t bare to go over all the sorry details again!

  2. Of course, once the refrigerator arrives, you’ll have a whole new set of surfaces to bang your head against!
    Might be useful to rent a college dorm mini fridge for a week until the new one comes…

  3. Im torn – risk making you feel worse or affer a warning…….ok, here it goes. Went through this acouple years ago…..measure, measured again…..the frig & guys show up & it doesnt fit – through a doorway (turns out old houses didnt have uniform doors/hallways). They had to take off all trim etc & still damaged the wall …..moral – figure out how they are going to get the beasts in & out. Good Luck, happy fourth !

  4. Lemme guess 2:45 location…Lowe’s? Home Depot? Any big box store in existence because they are all the most soul-deadening horrible places in existence? I have pooped a brick in all of them.

  5. Yeah, but what would you have named today’s post if you had used up this excellent title yesterday already? I am a headbanger?

    Oh and PS, try not to beat your head against your computer. These things are sensitive, and as much as I suffer for your refridgeratorlessness (I had the same problem a while ago, thankfully it was in winter), I would suffer more for my clichelessness.

  6. The blog was worth writing just for the title but we can see why you wished you’d remembered it for yesterday’s blog! Good luck in fitting in the new fridge – how about the dents in your head?

  7. Be sure to locate the little leveling feet underneath — they may be able to give you the 1/32 of an inch that you will need. NOTHING that comes into my home seems able to arrive without legs removed, handrails and molding removed, etc. Good luck!!!

  8. Reblogged this on A Grateful Man and commented:
    For those of you who need a good laugh, I’m sharing a post that I enjoyed but that was a little too close to some of the days I’ve had for comfort. Sometimes the only choice left seems to be whether to laugh or cry! Thank you “Becoming Cliche” for the wondeful post. I hope your day tomorrow is MUCH better!
    Russ

  9. Drop off chocolate bars and then poop a brick. Glad the order was not reversed — you averted one more disaster.

    Fingers and toes crossed that it fits!

  10. LOL Your day sounds like mine. Get all ready for work (the last before taking a few off). Just as I am ready to leave, big storm lots of lightening. Wait for it to let up so I can take the dogs out before leaving. Bright flash…no power. No way to open the garage and get my car out (unless I figure out how to do it manually), no air conditioning, no light and no sump pump. Find teeny tiny flashlight and go into basement with bucket because even though we have not had rain for weeks, it seems we are making up for it in a few hours. Spend better part of the day bailing water.

    Good luck with your new fridge. No delivery for a week? A week?

  11. I really do hope that your life gets easier, but if it doesn’t, then please wear a helmet. I’d hate for you to become head injured from all this head banging, for your own sake, and also for the sake of your readers. It would be a shame if you were no longer able to entertain us here with your humorous posts, so please protect your brain and don’t lose your mind!

  12. I’ve been in your shoes (brick and all). New fridge did not fit, despite multiple measures. My solution was to take cabinet doors with hinges off of cabinet and prop them up temporarily. That was 12 years ago. Works, can’t really tell they’re not on tight. Best of luck. Next time, use arnica gel on that forehead- good for bruises.

  13. Remember to not store poop bricks in new refrigerator.

    Why don’t they make refrigerators for existing houses any more? Are we all supposed to redo our kitchens to hold the new massive ones when the old one breaks? You see, I did this last year. And the new one did fit. Yours probably will too. Good luck.

  14. Bricks aside, sorry for your day. I am still fortunate with my current appliances but dread the day I will likely have to redo my kitchen to replace worthless appliances. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

    Not to give you hives, did you check clearances for the doors to open?

  15. Oh, god, what a terrible experience. That repairman sounded abysmal but at least he was probably right about the not bothering repairing it. Poor freezer, think of the memories that you’ve had together and now you’re throwing it away :

  16. Based on how your day went, I have a feeling we’ll soon be reading a post about a too-tall refrigerator. And more head banging.

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