All-Purpose, Handy Excuse #457

Why I was late for work:

What could I do, considering the circumstances?  I’m sure you understand.

 

.

There was this snake, see.

This excuse is 87% guaranteed to get you out of trouble, provided that you have an 8-foot boa constrictor to begin with. If you don’t have one, get one, or plan to be on time for the rest of your career.

disclaimer: It’s only guaranteed 87% because at least 13% of the population isn’t afraid of snakes. And that’s a number I totally pulled out of thin air. I can pull other things out of thin air, too. Mostly excuses.

 

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41 thoughts on “All-Purpose, Handy Excuse #457

  1. I am 13 percent sure I would have to change my pants if that snake were wrapped around my ankle. I would be late for everything for a long, long time.

  2. What if, like me, you work from home? An email to my boss saying I found a snake in my bed probably won’t be very convincing. Maybe if I called her and she could hear my husband and son in the background yelling about how lucky they are that a gigantic snake found its way into OUR HOUSE and quick, hide the cat.

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