Allow Me To Explain

Sometimes you need a GPS to get where you are going. For you old fashioned folks, a map comes in handy. But to get to my blog, you just need the secret code. Or codes. Or just use these handy search terms. And then scroll through 40 pages of results.

Life will throw you curveballs meaning urban dictionary – You know it’s a bad day when life is throwing dictionaries at you.

Becoming what you eat – It could happen.

Me as a MoonPie. Notice I’m kind of happy about it. Usually my hands are not misshapen claws. Usually I’m not a MoonPie, either.  Interestingly, MoonPie remains my top search term.

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Galapagos + cliche -There are so many Galapagos cliches that I hardly know where to start.

Kill me cat birthday – Happy birthday, friend. You need a better party theme. May I suggest Hello Kitty? She’s at least a happy cat.

Should I pierce my ear boy – No. Ear boys hate being pierced. Or yelled at.

Chick in sweaters – You were probably looking for this:

No animals were killed in the making of this sweater. I don’t think.

But I’ll give you this:

Typically, chicks have two legs. Typically, they don’t wear sweaters, either.

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Work boots on wrong feet – To the two people who found me this way,  I don’t know what interests me more: the fact that you’re old enough to own work boots and yet they are on the wrong feet, or that you then needed to research it on the internet.

Hi tech bucket – You won’t find what you are looking for here. I have enough time managing regular buckets. I am not allowed to have high tech ones. I might hurt myself.

How to sneak urine into a drug test – You are the people who are ruining things for the rest of us.

He loves to be undies –  Who doesn’t? Apparently it’s a thing because I got three hits from this term. Be what you want to be when you grow up. Even if it’s undies.

How to curl your hair with a wand –  For starters, that’s a total waste of magic. Curl your hair with a curling iron. Save the wand for turning people into frogs.

Boa constrictors high school – I’m a big proponent of education, but I’m pretty sure that economics theory and gym class would be lost on a snake. If you can get funding, more power to you.

Ask me and I’ll kill you – Ask you what? Oh, poop…

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I did something rash and daring. I entered a blogging competition! That’s right! I’m hoping to be the next Blogger Idol! Auditions have closed, but it’s not too late to vote for me to be the wild card. Because I am wild. I sometimes eat a MoonPie for breakfast! To vote, just visit their Facebook page and mention that you want Becoming Cliche as the wild card. If you’re a tweeter, you can do the same thing here. Help is appreciated but not required. I’ll let you know on Friday if I’m a finalist.

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16 thoughts on “Allow Me To Explain

  1. Oh, man! People in the Galapagos, right? Don’t even get me started! I mean I usually don’t stereotype people, but seriously! With their boats, and that food that they’re always eating, and their hair, and the way they’re always all, “Oh, look at us, we’re an Ecuadorian Province with a vast and diverse array of endemic species!”

    Ah, Galapagosians…

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