Because I think I’ve found one.
A friend and I took our kids to a municipal pool this summer. It’s the pool in the little town I grew up in. When I was a kid, I thought it was as big as an entire ocean. As adults, sometimes we find that the giants of our childhood have shrunk. Not this pool. It’s just as big now as it was to my child’s eye. Maybe bigger, since I’m now responsible for keeping three kids above the water’s surface. Big job, right?
Oh, speaking of big jobs. Some kid did one. I mean, I hope it was a kid. We were all paddling happily about, when suddenly the lifeguards were rushing us out of the water like someone had spotted Jaws. Code brown, people! This is not a drill! As per health code, we were beached for sixty minutes, which was annoying. But it could have been worse.
My friend and I were not responsible for finding the floater. Which sadly for the lifeguard involved, turned out to be a sinker. Imagine it. One minute you’re all Baywatch with your rescue board and some mad CPR skills, the next you’re the chump with a haz-mat suit and a fishnet. And it’s a big pool.
If that’s not you in the picture, go hug your boss.