Falling Out of Love

If you’ve ever been in love, you know how it is.  A relationship in the first flush of love is so exciting. Your heart beats faster when you think of your dear one. You make up any excuse to be together, and all your free time revolves around them.Your circle of friends expands to include theirs, and with their encouragement you try some of the adventurous things you never dreamed could. And your friends and family are so happy for you.

Time passes and things change. You begin to discover not only who you are, but who you are in relation to them. Some of it is good, some of it not as much. And then they change a little, too.  You begin to see who they are and learn what you can expect of them. And it’s still good. You can adapt, accept them for their flaws.

And things change still more. Communication breaks down. You’re spending more and more time trying to fix things and make them work as smoothly as before. It’s not easy. Because of the time you’re investing, you begin to feel more isolated from the ones you love. The warm glow you used to feel has disappeared and been replaced by anger and frustration.

And you wonder if it’s worth it. Do you fish or cut bait? The rubber has met the road, and you see that you have come to a fork in the road on the path you have walked together. Will you take different paths, or will you stick it out and see if you can make things good again?

That’s where I am with WordPress this morning.

The functionality that drew me to the site in the first place has either disappeared or has been buried. When I first left Blogger, I chose WordPress because I could actually explore the site before I ever registered. I didn’t want to waste my time signing up for something that wasn’t what I was looking for. At that time, I could read blogs, get an idea of some themes, I had access to the now-defunct topics and Freshly Pressed page. Now in order to explore the site, a user must be registered and logged in. Topics and FP are reduced to a reader, which I can’t load, since every image in each post is loaded into the reader. Some of the food and photography blogs contain 40+ images, and I must wait for each of them to load..

I am having to create workarounds for functions that I used to have. It doesn’t make sense. My dashboard has become buried in a deadly blue that hurts my eyes. What happened to the clean black tool bar? What was wrong with that? I know. Google uses blue. And that is clearly why Google+ is so incredibly popular. I don’t go to my dashboard at all anymore. I visit a friend’s post and get to my toolbar that way.

Communication is but poor. I don’t like to go to the forums at all. The sticky threads are closed to comments and contain very little actual information. I can read a little of the what, but never the why. And I do not like to post my questions in the help threads because those are patrolled by a volunteer who is often rude and condescending. I don’t know if the volunteer is the mouthpiece of WordPress or not. I hope not, but she seems to think that she is. Customer service isn’t her strong suit, and I don’t like to feel less-than for asking a question or airing a grievance.

The WordPress community is shrinking, and bloggers are becoming more isolated from one another. When I had free time, my favorite hobby was to prowl the topics pages and find new blogs to read and follow. I can’t load more than four posts in the reader, so I don’t even bother anymore. And now even Freshly Pressed as we knew it is gone. I am very blessed to have the community that I do. Don’t ever go away, friends. We’ll huddle on this island together and wait for rescue!

So where does this leave me? I don’t want to spend my time figuring out how to build a self-hosted blog, I want to write. So write I will. I’ve got three novels in the works at the moment, and they have asked me to come back to them. I can’t say no to that. I still have my daily joys, and I’ll share some Squish stories, don’t you even worry. Just not daily. Maybe with a little space, WordPress and I can learn to love again for what each of us has become.

My daily joy: My husband took a day off last week so we could celebrate my birthday. The weather was simply gorgeous, and we went for a three mile walk that turned into a five mile walk. We had lunch at a local restaurant I loved as a kid, and I still do.  My boys were in a Christmas program at church. The Padawan has an amazing speaking voice, and Squish kept his clothes on for the most part. And he dance.Oh, how he danced.  A friend offered to send me a copy of the performance since I forgot my camera. And I have three novels in the works that are competing for my attention. Three novels, when a year ago, I didn’t even have one! Life is generous to me.


33 thoughts on “Falling Out of Love

  1. Suspect WP has taken its eyes off us as a community. They’re busy trying to monetise the platform by offering VIP etc packages to the big boys. There are quite a few other blog options but when you’ve built up a great community it seems unthinkable to leave. Go enjoy Christmas, feed your clamouring novels and come back to us restored 😀

    • I agree. The conveniently located tabs that offer upgrades are now so easy to find. I totally understand wanting to cater to the paying folks. I wish they understood that many paying folks start out on the free stuff. If they don’t treat them well, they don’t become paying customers. *sigh*

      To the novel-writing station, Batman!

  2. I was never very involved in WordPress; I blogged, and that was pretty much it. I went self-hosted this fall, and I have to say, it was insanely easy. The only thing was that I didn’t really plan for it; I wish I’d notified my subscribers beforehand, rather than after the fact. It’s taken me a few months to rebuild my readership, but that’s okay–I figure that I’m not really writing for the numbers, anyhow.

    If you do decide to go self-hosted, I use bluehost.com and have been very happy with them so far.

  3. I love WordPress. However. I returned from my work-related hiatus, and I’m actually all: WTF is this Blue Screem of Doom? Like you say, it’s getting harder to interact, which for me is the whole point.

    And Is it just me, or is there a whole lot more clicking to get where you want to go? I’m not into that.

    Having said all that, I’m still writing, And reading you.

  4. I am sad that the Freshly Pressed page has changed and is no longer the front page of wordpress. It was a pretty big deal to be on the front page of wordpress! Now… I just can’t imagine many people will want to slog through the reader format. I used to highly recommend wordpress because it promoted its bloggers, it had a great sense of community, and you could fully explore the site before signing up. But wordpress is always changing and trying out new things. If this doesn’t work for them, maybe they will try something else!

  5. I am on Blogger. I’ve been hearing for years that WordPress is “better,” and I actually do have a WP account and have started a couple, I’ll call them “test blogs,” in the past, but the settings and the preferences just seemed so convoluted. Like you, I just wanted to write. And Blogger let me do that more easily than WP did. But, it does seem like there is more of a community with WP, and sometimes I feel a little left out using my “inferior” blog, like I’m in the remedial group at school or something. I’m sorry to hear WP isn’t living up to your expectations anymore.

      • I don’t get a lot of traffic (usually about 20-30 hits a day, and I rarely get comments), but I think that’s more because I’m not very active in the blogosphere, and because my topics are so random that I don’t have a niche where I can build an audience, than any failing on Blogger’s part. But, I don’t know much about that sort of thing, so I really can’t say. But on the whole I do like Blogger’s interface. It’s simple, but it does what I need it to do.

  6. I’ve been having the exact same thoughts! I hate this new set-up. It’s so annoying trying to get anywhere now. And I’ve contemplated a move as well, but I’m not sure where I’d go. I’d hate to leave my community, but at the same time, maybe it’s good to try new pastures? I don’t know. I was on blogger, but never really got involved there. On the other hand, since being on WP, I’ve gotten maybe a little too involved and concentrated too much on stuff like FP and followers etc, and not on my writing. I’m wondering if anyone knows much about other search engines like more things to do with blogger, or what tumblr is like, or any of the other blogging platforms. It’d be interesting to start up another blog while keeping this one – just to see what it’s like, you know?

    Sorry, that was a lot of blah blah. Any thoughts?

  7. I am confused. I am not having any of these problems. Why do I have magical WordPress? Hmm.

    Well, other than the forums being sucky (but they always were) and for a while it was crashing a lot when I tried to add an image (but they seemed to fix that recently – now it just freezes up every tenth image or so, which makes me cuss and bang on the table. Like a madwoman. I mean. Heh. I would never do that. I am very calm. VERY CALMMMM.)

    I hated Blogger passionately…so maybe I’m not expecting much from WordPress?

  8. I am very confused, too. But I am used to having curveballs thrown at me when it comes to technology so I just roll with the punches. If you decide to go somewhere else, be sure to let your faithful readers know your new address!

  9. I COULD NOT AGREE MORE!! I hate the new program, the new set up. I HATE the blue and white page. I can’t figure out how to use my own blog anymore. I’m so glad to hear that I’m not the only one, but I’m sorry that you too are miserable. I find everything about this new format frustrating. Hope we don’t lose you B.C.

  10. I’m sorry to hear you are having problems with WordPress. And even sorrier to hear you will be cutting back on your postings. I will miss you POV. I look forward to seeing you here ocassionally.

  11. Oh, I do relate to your disillusionment with WordPress. I sorely miss the Freshly Pressed guide too. At the same time, I keep trying to adjusting to changes in everything on the internet and I muddle along – loving blogging – loving the release – loving the people I am privileged to meet out there in the blogusfear – like you. Good luck with your novels but please don’t stay away long. 🙂

  12. I like WP but I’ve noticed the changes and haven’t loved them. It feels like I have to weed through eight WP articles about upgrading packages and themes to get to new writing for new-to-me bloggers.

  13. One thing I totally miss is the way we could read posts from different blogs previously – you click on a tag, like HUMOR, and all the most recent posts would show up, regardless if I was following them or not. There’d be a little thumbnail with a blurb from the post, and there’d be a dozen or more posts on one page I could glance at quickly. Now, I have to go through the WP Reader thing, which makes reading new bloggers tedious…and YES, it’s dissuaded me from exploring new bloggers. I know WP is trying to keep up with new layout and such but it’s not doing much for us bloggers. Thanks for bringing it to everyone’s attention!

A penny for your thoughts! And by penny, I mean a warm-fuzzy in your heart.

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