This Message Brought To You By Low Self Esteem

I was hoping that today would be the day I’d make a big, exciting announcement. Excited? Don’t be. I’m not quite there yet. Soon. Instead, I bring you this:

Do you have low self-esteem? Is your confidence at low ebb? Do you have trouble believing that you have the power to make your dreams come true? That used to be me. I was the 98 lb weakling getting sand kicked in my face. Okay, not entirely true. The last time I weight 98 pounds, I was in the fourth grade. Just go with it.

I have the cure. Don’t spend thousands on self-help books and seminars. Don’t waste your time with years of costly therapy. Here’s exactly what you need, and for under three bucks.

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you (insert drum roll here):


Don’t see it?

Because if you don't, who will?

Because if you don’t, who will?

I found this magic talisman at Target, and my whole life turned around.I now believe, friends. I believe in my smellf. I believe I can fly. *** I can do anything. Because my husband’s deodorant says I can. And you can, too.

Now get out there and change the world, or at least change your socks. There’s more than one way to help your smellf.

I believe. I believe. I believe that I’ll not tell my husband that his deodorant is laying in the yard where I knocked it off the deck. He’ll figure that out for himself soon enough.

*** This statement is merely figurative. Laws of physics still apply.


46 thoughts on “This Message Brought To You By Low Self Esteem

  1. I can’t wait to see what OTHER exciting news yoursmellf has to share! Because honestly, I’m good with this, right now.

    P.S. – I officially can’t think of grilled cheese without thinking of your blog now. Mission accomplished.

  2. If I had known all along that all I had to do in order to believe in mysmelf was to smell like my Dad, well…I still wouldn’t believe in mysmelf, because I like to smell like a lady, not my dad.

    I’M ON A HORSE! (The first time I saw that commercial I laughed so hard I cried a little.)

  3. How did that tagline get past the head of marketing? Dear me. I’ve made up stupid stuff, too, but my coworkers stopped me before it got printed.

  4. Nice job! I was surprised you haven’t see the commercials until this post! Anyway, thanks for bringing a chuckle to my life with the Old Spice Smellf!

A penny for your thoughts! And by penny, I mean a warm-fuzzy in your heart.

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