Priorities: Or Why You Don’t Want Me On Pinterest

I haven’t owned a hair dryer in over a year. Okay, more like three. I’m a wash and wear kind of gal. Nothing fancy here. I know that comes as a shock to everyone. I just can’t see putting a lot of effort into *this* ‘do when there’s so little hope of a good outcome.

Every winter, I begin to question whether or not I should make the purchase. On days when my hair freezes to icicles walking my son to school, it seems like a good idea. But then it thaws out again, and I forget. Or I decide that rather than buiying an item I’ll use three months out of a year, I’ll just quit washing my hair altogether. My bathroom cabinet space is a valuable commodity, after all. ย So drip dry it is. Or was.

That’s right. I now own a hair dryer. I bought it about three weeks ago. Have I used it? Yes. For the purpose for which it was intended? Um, no.

I went out shopping all wired up and fired up to find a dryer. Because it had a purpose! I needed one. The selection was daunting. It has been so long since I’ve bought one that I wasn’t sure which extra features were the most important. Or why. Good grief. A dryer is designed to blow air. Hot, cold, fast, slow. What else do you need? If I’m going to pay $50 for a hair dryer, it had better dry my hair, fold my laundry, and file my taxes. I bought the $10 model. And it works just fine.

Oh, wait. Maybe I forgot to mention why I needed it. For snake sheds, of course.

Reptile skin doesn’t grow, so the animal gets rid of the old skin as they get larger. Some snake folks I know find sheds that would normally be discarded and give them to me. I laminate them and use them when I give talks about my snakes.

Recently I acquired the discarded shed of an enormous eastern diamondback rattlesnake. It was heavy with sand from the animal’s bedding and couldn’t be laminated in that state, but it was too fragile to simply shake the dirt loose. The solution? A hair dryer. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve spent the last three years drip-drying every morning, but my snake shed sent me straight to Target. I have my priorities in order. It was a spectacular shed, after all.

And this is why I am not on Pinterest. If I were, this is the kind of craft project you could expect from me:

 

How to create a beautiful memoryย creepy craft

Be sure to clean off those belly scutes! They're heavily keeled, so you'll have to pay close attention to get the dirt out.

Be sure to clean off those belly scutes! They’re heavily keeled, so you’ll have to pay close attention to get the dirt out.

 

What a great way to repurpose all that packing material from buying craft supplies on Ebay!

Be sure to put newspaper underneath to protect your floor. What a great way to repurpose all that packing material from buying craft supplies on Ebay!

There's loose dirt on the inside, too, because the snake took its close off inside out. For the best laminated shed, be sure to get that dirt off, too.

There’s loose dirt on the inside, too, because the snake took its clothes off inside out. For the best laminated shed, be sure to clean that, too.

 

Next, simply run it through your heavy-duty laminator, preferably using a carrier sleeve. Don’t have a laminating machine of your own?ย Loser No worries! Run down to Staples or Office Depot and use theirs. I’ll wait.

Tip: print a small photo of the snake and laminate it with the shed, along with the snake’s scientific name.

The final result:

Note the eye caps on the right. It's difficult to find a shed with the head intact. We'll add this one to our gold medal shed collection.

Note the eye caps on the right. It’s difficult to find a shed with the head intact. We’ll add this one to our gold medal shed collection.

Well done! Now you’re ready to add it to your collection.

Your collection is growing! Way to go!

Your collection is growing! Way to go!

 

Stay tuned for the next installment of Creepy Crafts With Heather when we learn how to shellac an elephant turd!

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74 thoughts on “Priorities: Or Why You Don’t Want Me On Pinterest

  1. My son has a California King Snake…brown and cream colors…very beautiful…about 4 feet long in a terrarium on the shelf above his bed. He’s had it since middle school…not really that difficult to take care of really. I’ve watched it eat the frozen mice we give it…disgustingly awesome! And we see the shed skin it leaves behind, but I must say, I have never thought of saving the skin, except if my son needed a good Science project Show ‘n Tell over the years! Ha!

  2. Very interesting! I needed to laminate something the other day and found something cheap that works great. It’s transparent contact paper in a big roll. You get about a hundred yards (?) for $10.

  3. Frankly, snakes give me the shudders, but to each his (or her) own! If I don’t use a hair dryer, I look like a corn stalk. You obviously are rocking a better look than I am. I rather enjoy Pinterest, but I confess I don’t do the craft projects — glitter and glue are no longer in my repertoire!

  4. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Shedding skin + snake = AliceScreams. My husband had a snake when we first met. He kept one of its shed skins in the bathroom vanity – don’t ask me why. A friend and I were cleaning up for me to move into the bachelor pad and she unfortunately found the skin and screamed across the house.

  5. Im with you on the blow drying! I got my very first blow dryer EVER just this past Christmas and was kind of excited…. Ive used it once and was quickly reminded why I don’t blow dry my hair (I forgot my hair could even be that poofy). And soooo neat! I had no Idea you could laminate that and it is super cool to see the head still intact. fantastic post!

  6. And here I was wondering what craft project I would tackle now that Chief Money Maker made me a craft closet. Can I pick up a snake shed at Hobby Lobby? I already have the hair dryer! ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Wonderful topic to share at your next tea party. My daughter attended a tea party where all of the women were sharing their last project. My daughter shared that she was rebuilding her car engine. She also owned a snake for a time. She had one of the most socialized iguanas in the neighborhood.

  8. Love this post! I don’t own a hair dryer either. Just got a hair cut, and at the end the hairdresser suggested I use a hair flattener thingy (I don’t even know what they’re called) And I’m thinking, “Yeah, right, that’s gonna happen.” But I definitely would buy one to use on snake skin! You go, girl!

  9. Urgh, hair dryers, the world’s most useless appliance. We are renting a furnished apartment here in Cape Verde (for the time being) which has nothing: no kettle, no toaster, no microwave, not even a bloody working can opener. But when I opened the wardrobe in the bedroom there were an ironing board including iron (for those button-up shirts you wear on the beach) and, of course, a hair dryer. As if anyone needed one in a place that is a) warm year-round and b) a world-class wind and kite surf destination because it is always … windy, that’s right.

    I’m glad you found a good use for a hair dryer though. Love your creepy crafts.

  10. Dang – I didn’t know you’d be this cool when I put you on Follow! What a hobby you have. In the feed, it looked like you were blowdrying tripe. I’m so glad it wasn’t that! I’ve saved the skins from some lizards in Glad bags, but no snakes. Yet! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  11. This is definitely a creepy craft! Although strangely beautiful at the same time! You should contact Zoe at http://buckwheatsrisk.com/, she has a python of some kind as a pet. Maybe she could share a shed with you? I know Pickles was having trouble shedding the last time & they hope to have worked it out with the right balance of heat & humidity.

  12. This really is creepy. It’s like Silence of the Lambs, except that instead of women, you have snakes, and instead of kidnapping and murdering them, you just wait for them to shed. But other than that, it’s exactly the same.

  13. “It put the lotion on its skin, or else it gets another four hours soaking in a water bowl to ensure the eye caps come off.” You’re right! It’s exactly the same! What have I done?! Makin’ me a snake suit out of real snakes?

  14. That is an awesome shed! I never thought to laminate, here I could have preserved the last shed from Sir my pet boa before I donated him to the zoo. I would have had a memory.

    I am with you, I don’t own a hair dryer either. Of course, I also don’t own a comb or brush.

  15. BC: You are the only person I know who can educate me and creep me out at the same time! Ha! I was supposed to go hiking today but I think I’ll stay in and nap–trying not to dream about giant snakes. Just kidding. Loved this blog. Learned something I did not know.

  16. You know what else a blowdryer is good for? To remove stickers (kids don’t seem to understand the “no sticker on furniture” rule) or price tags from things. You can also use it to remove band-aids or other bandage tapes when they stick too much (tip from The Doctors). It’s also helpful to clear the steam from your bathroom mirror (not that I do this all the time, but it does work). Also heard you can use it to remove wax from carpet but since I don’t even own candles… You can also use to dry a wet spot on your shirt (from when you spill something, I mean) but be sure to remove shirt first (ouch!).
    For my hair I prefer a blowdryer brush, you can dry your hair while brushing it. Plus, hair doesn’t get as poofy.
    I really think this would be pinned way more than you imagine. You should totally create a Creapy Crafts board over there.

  17. This is pretty awesome. I own a hair dryer. It was used during my brief encounter with having a Mohawk. Now, it gets used for crafts and such. ๐Ÿ˜›

  18. i think this is the EXACT reason why you SHOULD be on Pinterest! ;D
    then again, i’ve wasted away many, mannnyyyy, maaannyyyy anxiety filled hours clicking like a madwoman, re-pinning things.
    …So on second thought: stay far far away….

    P.S.
    still waiting on the shellacked turd

  19. Oh my god, you had me laughing, “How to create a beautiful memory creepy craft” I never heard of laminating snake sheds, don’t know much about snakes, only that I’m not afraid of them. I love your humor and will be checking in on your blog often, thank you for the laughs I needed them ๐Ÿ™‚

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