Now Where Did I Put My Groove?

I just got back from the weirdest spa. I think it was a spa. I had a nice, quiet room and an entire staff at my beck and call. I even had cable television, including a special station called “Hand Washing to Avoid Infection.”. I highly recommend the acupuncture. One needle stick, and I was out for hours. I was a little surprised at how often they asked for a urine sample or poked around for my blood, and they woke me at all hours to check my blood pressure. There were never any mints on my pillow, either. Maybe the occasional alcohol wipe or specimen cup, but whatever. Got to take the bad with the good, right? And at least this time they didn’t give me a baby when I left.

So now I’m home. Yay. I am slowly getting back into the swing of things. Yesterday, my husband took me for a car-ride, which perked me right up and confirmed my long-held suspicion that I am part golden retriever. I am no longer taking meds that restrict my ability to drive, so in theory, I am good to go. So for the first time in two weeks, I am alone with Squish. And I am terrified.

It seemed like a good idea. I can safely operate heavy machinery, after all, so how much more trouble can it be to keep up with a four year old? Quite a bit more, as it turns out. I’ll take the heavy machinery. It’s easier to win an argument with a belt sander than with a preschooler, and table saws come with an off-switch. Pray for me. I did not think this through.

Yeah, he's laying on the back of the couch. Because why not. He'll be good, right?

Yeah, he’s laying on the back of the couch. Because why not. He’ll be good, right?

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48 thoughts on “Now Where Did I Put My Groove?

  1. Sorry, must have missed a lot – didn’t realise you haven’t been well. Can only suggest lots of car trips out with hubby and make sure he gives enough treats. Good luck with Squish – heavy machines might not answer back but they sure do talk a load of drivel 😉

  2. Aww, lookit that smiling face…I know, behind that adorable smile hides a world of mayhem and chaos and “I want it now!”… heh, the cat is looking at you like, You agreed to what? (or maybe just wondering why the back of the couch is in a different position than before XD )

    In any case, I hope you feel 100% soon! Spas always make me happy 🙂

  3. I didn’t realize you were under the weather — but I HAD missed you! Hope everything is up to snuff real soon.
    Four is such a fun age. Tell yourself often, This too shall pass!

    • I have it on autoplay on my computer. Fun age-fun-age-fun-age. Actually, he was pretty good today considering the structure of his life turned upside down for a week and a half!

  4. Ah, I had a stay at La Resort De Enferma as well. I didn’t catch the hand washing channel, though. Darn. I remember playing hide and seek w/ my four year olds. And forgetting to seek. Rinse, repeat. Could keep it up all day.

    • The hand washing channel was a new one to me, too. I’ve visited many a friend in the hospital and had not seen that one.

      Hide and seek. Forever. “You’re hiding so well! Keep hiding, honey. I’ll find you right after my nap.”

  5. While I think your son’s idea is brilliant, I don’t think your cat feels that way. He’s like, “Human, this is my spot on the back of the couch. Get. Off.” Just made me laugh, and that spa sounds freaky.

  6. Hope you’re back to normal really soon (running on all cylinders), and with full internet access. Take it easy though with the four year old. I am convinced that all you need is about 100 of them and we could take over the world with Squish and my grandson as the military commanders! I agree with one of your other commenters, all you need to do is keep him alive. That is usually my goal with my 4 year old grandson. If he’s full of sugar, caffeine, over-stimulation from watching the latest greatest cartoons when I return him to homebase, that is not my problem. At least I returned him in one piece and he is buzzed and happy and in love with his “fun” grandmother forever and ever! Ha! 🙂

  7. I hope that all is well and your spa visit will your last. Good luck with your zero-off-switch preschooler 😉 If you need help blog-keeping, let a girl know! I’ll put something together about our shared love of standardized testing or dog farts 😉

  8. Glad you’re back and blogging – hadn’t seen you in a while and thought that was weird. Dealing with a 4-year old? Try an 80-year old Chinese dad. I’m looking after him while my mother escapes…er…”visits” my sister. The other day we had an argument about KFC (he thinks it’s beneficial to his gout. Yes he has gout and it’s giving me a headache). Yesterday, it was trying to convince him that club soda is safe for diabetics. No doubt by week’s end I’ll be putting out my own post about getting home from the hospital!

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