The Savvy Consumer: I Want My Money Back

I like comfort. I like for life to be easy, and if there’s a product on the market that can make that happen for me, I am all over it. There is such thing as getting my hopes up too high, though. I recently had my heart broken.

My mother-in-law bought me these. I heart her.Watch the video. It’s amazing, even if I can’t get the sound to work. It will be the most enlightening 58 seconds of your life.

Awesome, right? All the tennis for my IJ friends. And barbeques. And sunbathing. What’s not to love?

They promised to keep me the coolest. They lied. No matter how I wear them, I can never be as cool as this:

Trying to be this cool is too lofty a goal. I give up.

Trying to be this cool is too lofty a goal. I give up.

Don’t buy these. The bar is set too high.

24 thoughts on “The Savvy Consumer: I Want My Money Back

  1. Clicking on that photo revealed that the Awesome Bandana of Power is filled with special organic CRYSTALS. It’s obvious from his beatific expression that LL Cool Bob is having a mystical, transcendental, crystal-induced experience.

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