Ten Things I Don’t Want to Hear Two Days Before Christmas

1) I have a Christmas lunch at work/school/preschool tomorrow. What would you like to make?

2) I need to start my Christmas shopping. Can you take me to the mall?

3) How about that! The guaranteed Christmas delivery wasn’t actually guaranteed.

4) The turkey’s going to take three more days to thaw.

5) We’re out of tape.

6) Can you wrap this? And this? Oh, and this?

7) I should have opened the shipping carton when it came two weeks ago. Instead of Star Wars Legos, they sent a beer pong table. We can’t give that to the kid, can we?

8) Did I forget to tell you my second cousin, twice removed, will be at Christmas dinner? We have a gift for him, right? I’ve met him once, but I’m sure you could pick out something he’d love.

9) The cat just threw up on your Christmas sweater. Is the dry cleaner open today?

10  ) Were we exchanging gifts this year, or just giving them to the kids?


Merry Christmas!

25 thoughts on “Ten Things I Don’t Want to Hear Two Days Before Christmas

  1. Isn’t X’mas just so *special* when you have young’uns around, Heather? You just never know what to expect next.

    On the heels of your turkey thawing comment, I was selected (forced into) getting the turkey for Thanksgiving this year (12 pounder) and had no idea the darn thing takes so longgg to thaw. That, plus the fact that the lady who had volunteered to make the turkey (I just had to buy it and volunteer my oven, never made turkey in my life) is on some weird Prozac/anti-depressant combination and would wake up every 15 minutes (she made me set the timer this way) and tell me to zap up the temp to 450F or lower it to 300F, depending upon how depressed she was. We ended up with a turkey that had peed all over itself, took an extra hour to cook, and was as dry as bone. Next year I don’t care what anyone says, we’re all having Chinese dumplings.

    Happy holidays to you and yours, Heather!

    • Oh, boy. I put mine in the oven at 325F, and I leave it until I get bored. I don’t even bother to baste it. The last time I baked one, I took it out of the oven when it was finished and let it sit for two hours. It was the juiciest ever. Laziness pays sometimes.

      Happy holidays, Susan!

  2. Man, I’m glad I opened all the packages I got for people to wrap them and repackage them – I can’t even imagine if I’d gotten the wrong thing!

    YAY IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS! (I might be a little too excited.)

  3. I hope you had a lovely christmas heather, quite enjoyed your comments too, exchanging turkey stories and tips on where to buy what! you are a one stop christmas blog.. c

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