The One Where I Tell You a Secret

I have the weirdest dreams. When I was a kid, I used to dream that I could fly. I still remember that *whee* feeling in the pit of my stomach this one time when I dreamed I was flying on my magic carpet. Okay, so it wasn’t a magic carpet. It was a suitcase. I told you my dreams were weird.

The other night, I dreamed I was a zookeeper. Like, instead of volunteering in the reptile department once a week, they actually paid me to show up. And I had animals of my own that I was assigned to take care of. I didn’t get to fly, but I did get to touch cool things. It was the happiest dream I think I’ve ever had. Then I dreamed that I bought a box of salted caramel MoonPies. When I woke up, I had the biggest smile on my face. Don’t you love dreams like that?

Here’s where things get really weird. I opened my secret hiding place in the closet cabinet, and look what I found!


Oh, my gosh! Salted Caramel MoonPies are a THING!

Oh, my gosh! Salted Caramel MoonPies are a THING!


But wait. If the MoonPies were real… Does that mean…? Yes, it does! As of this week, I have a new full-time job! I am the newest keeper in the Herpetology department. This is my dream job. I have thoughts and plans for studies on reptile cognition, and I want to do some operant conditioning with our giant tortoises. I am so excited I could cry. And I may have once or twice already.

Can you imagine having a job where you get to continue learning and learning and learning about things you love? Because that’s what this job will be for me. I’ll eventually be in charge of some species of snakes that I have limited or no experience with, so I will be reading and scouring the internet for information to learn as much as I can. About biology and the natural world. What could be better?

My first day is Saturday, and I’ll let you know all about it. My new life is about to begin. First full-time job since Squish was born. It’s exciting and scary all at the same time. Wish me luck!



In case you didn’t know, I contribute writing in other places. This week, I entered my drug screen post in a competition over at Yeah, Write. If you enjoyed it, click here to go vote for me. You can vote for your five favorite blog posts that you see there.

 I also added a post over at our local City Moms Blog. It’s a silly little poem about how parenthood changes us.  Because it does. Want a free sample, no extra charge? Okay, then!

Motherhood is pretty great.

I know that statement’s true,

But I’d be lying if I said

Kids haven’t changed my view.


At restaurants fine, I used to dine

On lobster or capon.

Today, I only choose the place

That offers free crayons…

Click here to read the whole post, and feel free to leave a comment to let me know you were there. I like it when my friends visit me.


82 thoughts on “The One Where I Tell You a Secret

  1. Yes yes yes yes yes! Can’t wait to hear all about it. Well done you and what a chance in a lifetime. Congratulations – if you fear tears coming on, just have another Moon Pie 😀

  2. Congratulations, my friend. LOVE the dream and dream job even more! I felt similarly about teaching college writing–always an opportunity to grow and learn along with my students. If fact, they often taught me more than I did them!

    Hugs from Ecuador,

  3. Cartwheels, cheers, high fives!! Dreams do come true and the zoo is SO-O-O fortunate to have you. I can’t imagine your posts being any more intriguing and pictures more breathtaking than what you’ve already given us, but somehow I know you will outdo yourself, and gives us a window on your widening world. Well done!! Heading to vote now.

  4. OK, I must be voting-challenged because I can see a whole bunch of instructions, but I see nowhere on the screen to vote??? What am I missing? When I click your thumbnail, I get your post, but still nowhere to vote? Arghh

  5. CONGRATULATIONS! I am super excited and jealous for and of you! I always wanted to be a zoologist when I was little, so I think I’ll live vicariously through you. Also, you have a mandatory weekly quota of tortoise pictures! I’m not sure what the quota is yet, but it’ll probably be a lot.

  6. Oh my! SO HAPPY FOR YOU! (all caps because this is a big feeling!) How awesome! Enjoy every day, and never let the thrill go! ^___^ Also, now I want moon pies….

  7. Snakes! That is very cool. I hope you enjoy your new job.
    Speaking of dreams, my weirdest one was about a serial killer who always dressed his victims in yellow silk pyjamas before murdering them. That was the only time I’ve ever dreamt in colour…

  8. I loved your article and found it very entertaining. Definitely gave it a ‘like.’ If you want to read another blog full of silliness, try

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