The Confession That Will Make People Hate Me

It’s been a while since I made a confession here. People like confessions. That might be why my most popular post ever was this one. So here it is.

I am not a cat person. What is that I hear? It is the sound of thousands of people running screaming to the “unfollow”button. It might be my neighbor actually screaming. She has a problem.. But there you have it. I’m not a cat person. I am a dog person. Dogs come in all shapes and sizes and are bred with an actual purpose in life. Golden Retrievers hunt, Rottweilers drove cattle to market, Schnauzers were ratters. Cats all look relatively the same, and they have the work ethic of a salted slug. Cats are fine, but I am not a cat person. Because reasons.

Cats are self-absorbed.

They never let you forget that they are number one in their book.

She sleeps hugging herself. No one loves Pixel like Pixel.

She sleeps hugging herself. No one loves Pixel like Pixel.

Cats are entitled.

They take what they want, even if it’s yours. Food, furniture, the good spot on the bed. It’s all theirs.

Cats are lazy.

They will rub your nose in it every chance they get that you have to earn a living, and they do not.

Cats are destructive.

They will tear your heart into tiny pieces when it’s time for them to leave you.

It's been over two years, and not a day goes by that I don't miss you, Piper. I love you, old lady.

It’s been over two years, and not a day goes by that I don’t miss you, Piper. I love you, old lady.

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34 thoughts on “The Confession That Will Make People Hate Me

  1. Self-absorbed? Check.
    Entitled? Check.
    Lazy and destructive? Check and mate!

    You have put your finger on precisely why I adore cats. Or it’s also possible you were just describing me and wanted to be polite about it? Either way, spot on!!

    [I’m going to imagine Piper and my own beloved old ladycat gambolling together in the hereafter. Well… except I don’t remember if Hildi ever gamboled. I’m sure she’ll hiss at Piper plenty, though!]

  2. I am not a car person AT ALL. For all the reasons mentioned, and I’m highly allergic. It’s misery for me to even step foot into the hone of a cat. I swell up.like an oompa-loompa.

  3. Your reasons are all the same reasons I love them, myself. I love the cat’s attitude of “I’m not going to jump, just because you want me to” vs. a dog’s “How high? How high should I jump? How often? When? When? When? Slobber, slobber, slobber.” (I do like dogs as well, but find the cat’s personal hygiene much preferred).

    Sorry you’re missing Pixel. We miss our old Chloe girl, who – in November – will have been gone 7 years already. We just had a “Chloe moment” last weekend, me and my husband — she was HIS girl and adored him fiercely.

  4. It’s true. Polly spends at least half the day sleeping in the linen cupboard. I even put an old pillow in there to save my towels from cat fur. When she decides to emerge it’s to announce that she’s hungry and when is dinner? She claws my armchairs. But I feel privileged when she gets on my lap.

  5. Hmm…I think you’re much less likely to be ostracized for this confession than if you had to admit you’re not a dog person! It’s also easier to hide not liking cats because they are rarely out in public and “Cat Friendly Offices” are not a thing!

  6. Not a cat person my arse! I write this with my sweet Molly on my lap who thinks my water glass is her water glass and my yogurt and blueberry smoothie is hers. Our burden is great with these little lives relying on us. I consider errant cat hair to be an excellent source of fiber. Ha

  7. I wasn’t a cat person for a LONG time!! Our first cat Oliver was very distanced… he had a love/hate relationship with my sister. Lol

    It wasn’t until a few years ago when she found a stray and was trying to get her to come around her… and then she started having kittens and I love baby animals so I basically changed my tone. I’m still very surprised I love cats as much as I do!

    And I don’t hate you for not liking them, a lot of people don’t like them. They’re not like dogs where they’re easy to please! So you’re good! 🙂

  8. I still miss everyone of our pets. It’s been 16 years since our last cat Zane Grey and I still miss her purrs, kneading and head butts. My heart breaks to write this… Our most recent loss was last month – our sheltie LucyLu (15) was my constant companion. Up to the end she still did a beautiful “Mighty Dog” run back to the house.

  9. Aw, I loved this!
    I’m like you, I will always have a dog, on that I have no doubt. But there’s something about those self-absorbed, entitled, lazy felines that causes me to take one in occasionally. Maybe because they remind me of myself? 😉

  10. All true, but I would dispute that cats are not workers. Nestle’s job is to take care of any flies and bugs that might venture into the house. I suppose if we had mice, it would be her job to take care of them too. Thanks goodness we don’t have mice, but she does a great job on the bugs.

    In fact yesterday a fly got in the door. I said to hubby “hey a fly came in with you and the dogs”. His response was to tell Nestle, that is her job. I don’t see the fly this morning so I guess she got it….lol.

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