Goals For The New Year

I decided not to make resolutions this year, mostly because it’s too hard to spell. I made goals instead. It’s a tip I picked up from a co-worker. She is so wise!  A resolution can die a sad death within seconds of the clock striking midnight on January 1. A goal is a year-long kind of thing. I like the idea of something I can’t screw up the first day.  Win! I have all these grandiose grand schemes, and mama needs to get these bad boys off the ground.

In 2016 my goal is to:

  • Hatch more of these:
  • Take up a new creative hobby. I’m thinking of knitting or crochet. Anyone want to teach me?
  • Drink more water. 20 ounces when I first wake up.
  • Pee more. Also counts as a hobby, so double win!
  • Eat better quality food. No more eating chocolate that I found on the floor. Unless it has been there for under five seconds because there’s no sense in being wasteful.
  • Be more organized. No more storing shopping lists in the sock drawer.
  • Bring home fewer of these:

    resolutions, writing, new years, cats

    But… so cute…

  • And fewer of these:

    Hillary and Humperdink. My new Nelson's Milksnakes. They are tiny and perfect and so sassy!

    Hillary and Humperdink. My new Nelson’s Milk snakes. They are tiny and perfect and so sassy!

  • Quit referring to husband as “Grouchy kill-joy who doesn’t want me to have lots of cool pets or be happy”
  • Spend less money on frivolous things. Everyone knows that Funko figures are a necessity. I’ll cut out some of the extravagances like heat. My kids are so spoiled on warmth. We have five cats. They can use those as personal warming devices.

    Surprise birthday Funko figures! I live in a world where Newt Scamander and Picket exist!

    Surprise birthday Funko figures! I live in a world where Newt Scamander and Picket exist!

  • Eat less fast food. One  fewer Sonic burger is less.  I’m perfectly happy to cross one off on a technicality.
  • Read more. With all that water I’m drinking, I’ll be spending more time staring at the walls in public restrooms.
  • Write more. See above. Also counts as creative new hobby if I use a sharpie and sign my name to my work. I’ll be the Banksy of public toilets.
  • Make my mark on the world. Again, sharpie.
  • Take the boys on another vacation. And remember this time to apply the sunscreen at effective intervals.

    humor, writing, zoo

    They’re not sunburned. They’re doing an impersonation of flamingos. And look at that balance!

  • Learn a new skill. Maybe peeing standing up? Or finally learning to program the VCR.
  • Find constructive ways to deal with my anxiety. Hitting bricks with a frying pan sounds kind of awesome.
  • Take Christmas tree down before Easter. Eh, who am I kidding?

Did you make any goals or resolutions this year? Or break any? I’m not here to judge.

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50 thoughts on “Goals For The New Year

  1. I am all for your goals except… no shopping lists in the sock drawer?! I dunno, that goal seems extreme to me. Counterintuitive, even. Are you sure about that one?

  2. While I cannot in good conscience support all of these goals [MOAR CATS ALWAYS], I am ~all~ about the goals, not resolutions plan. I am also a big fan of bathroom writing: creative AND a good way to share the love with your community!

  3. I am a goals person too! I loved reading yours. I made a lot of goals for this year including enhancing my spiritual life, eating better, travelling more, and paying off debts. It’s important to have goals and something to look forward to. Best of luck to you!

  4. HA! Thanks for the laugh and the motivation to make some goals. I suppose making goals is now my first goal. 🙄 Good luck with yours and all the best to you in 2017!
    Ps…the Banksy bathroom thing kind of rocks! Go for it!

  5. Looking forward to baby gecko (gecklet?) pictures! 🙂

    My goal is to cut myself some slack if I don’t hit my goals perfectly.

  6. My goals: eat more plants (yay), eat less sugar (I might die from the withdrawal), be more in-the-moment (currently failing), dare to be happy, dare to speak up, live a more reusable/mendable existance (just darned my first sock).

  7. We’re already Tribe members who follow each other, but it was Jenny’s pillow-fort post that brought me to ya. You are one INTERESTING chick, and your goals are totally worthy AND doable. I have only one goal, at this point, and that is to reacquire a satisfaction with the meatsack I’m toting my soul around in. I blogged about it. “New Year” and all, ya know.

    MORE furbabies (that one you pic’d is TOTES adorbs) to make up for all of the money you’ll save by not buying the fast food and the other things!

  8. If you don’t get any offers for teaching knitting or crocheting, you can learn anything on YouTube, and it never loses patience, you can rewind and slow down and repeat. I recommend knitting as a meditative practice, but you have to get past the learning curve before you reach that state of being. Knitting Paradise is a great forum for help and ideas. Good luck!

  9. I totally recommend knitting looms. I love the rectangle one for great comfy scarfs! Using knitting needles is overrated. Now I’m off to clean my sink – thats my daily new year goal!

      • I received a big skein of beautiful purple yarn and a knitting loom from my Secret Santa in 2015 because I’d listed “want to learn to knit or crochet” as my hobby… immediately returned the loom to Jo-Ann Fabrics in exchange for various large crochet hooks (after another customer on the hooks/needles aisle gave me a crash course in crochet)! Followed that crash course with one YouTube video played on repeat until I got the hang of it.

        Also have a single pair of knitting needles and a different crash course from a former neighbor. Knitting is more cumbersome than crochet, IMO, and requires additional thingies so it doesn’t all fall off the needles if you set it down.

        My cats have mostly ignored my crochet projects, which is good.

      • I have knitted before. I went to one class, knitted bravely for a couple of weeks, then lost the hang of it. I like either one. But now I have a crochet project in mind, so I’m having Girl-child teach me her skilz before she goes back to college next week.

  10. Holy Cannoli Batman, you and I wrote virtually the same post, and certainly the same brilliant idea on THE same day! I posted mine and didn’t realize I was in such great company because I was traveling and am only catching up now. Happy New Year Heather, and may both of us have our goals and intentions come true! xo

  11. Pingback: Notes From the Zookeeper | Becoming Cliche

  12. Heyo! Just found your blog and I am fished in! My goal this year is to exercise multiple times a week, cut down on booze, try not to go comatose when my kids are telling me stories about emojies and light sabers while picking their noses and denying it WHILE they are doing it! Oh, and the goal that I am super excited about is starting my new blog. It’s a place for laughter, mortifying stories, and product reviews. I hope you will check it out!

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