Arakan Forest Turtle. A sibling of this guy. Welcome to the world, little guy.
Arakan Forest Turtle. A sibling of this guy. Welcome to the world, little guy.
I rarely reblog. This is worth a read. Share it with your friends, your family. A brilliant analogy of consent.
Originally posted on rockstar dinosaur pirate princess:
A short one today as my life is currently very complicated and conspiring against my preference to spend all of my days working out what to blog. But do you know what isn’t complicated?
It’s been much discussed recently; what with college campuses bringing in Affirmative Consent rules, and with the film of the book that managed to make lack of consent look sexy raking it in at the box office. You may not know this, but in the UK we more or less have something similar to ‘affirmative consent’ already. It’s how Ched Evans was convicted while his co-defendant was not – and is along the lines of whether the defendant had a reasonable belief that the alleged victim consented. From the court documents it appears that while the jury felt that it was reasonable to believe that the victim had consented to intercourse with the co-defendant, it…
View original 930 more words
The Girl-child and I went to the movies last week. We bought our tickets for Pass the Light. Given the movie’s premise, we expected to leave the theater full of hope and with spirits lifted. How wrong we were.
I don’t mind shelling out for a quality picture, and therein lies the rub. Hollywood and I don’t often see eye-to-eye on what constitutes quality. The Imitation Game? High quality. Noah? Not. So. Much. And of course now producers are really into remakes because they’re all out of ideas. If they’re going to make imitations of great movies, I should be able to print my own imitation money to pay for the ticket, right?
I know. I’m not turning into my mom. That ship has sailed. I’m turning straight into my grandma. Let me just seal that particular deal by saying “Movies today? They’re all sex, sex, sex, and blowing people up! In MY day, producers knew how to make good movies, movies that make you think!”
After our movie trip, I firmly believe that society as a whole is going to hell in a handbasket. Producers will show anything to make a quick buck. There is no modesty anymore. The most intimate moments are broadcast for everyone to see. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, is left to the imagination. I cannot believe people want to see this stuff! We are quickly becoming desensitized, and the definition of what is appropriate is being rewritten at frightening speed. I left the theater horrified, uncomfortable, disillusioned. Because of the pre-move commercials.
I do not want to live in a world that thinks it is even a little bit okay to advertise something like this *** (click to enlarge):
I know that *ahem* personal products like this exist, just like I know things like tax auditors and boy bands exist. That doesn’t mean I want them shoved in my face. Some things are best kept to ourselves.
I was okay with the product itself. It was the demonstration that gave me the screaming willies. Beautiful model? Check. Pumice sander? Check. Closeup of the bits of beautiful model’s feel sanded off in a floating cloud of skin particles? CHECK!
MY EYES! MY POOR, POOR EYES! Why did anyone think it was advisable to be so graphic? It didn’t used to be that way. Anybody remember the good old days, back when commercials promoting maxi pads were careful to use only blue liquid in their demos? Can we not leave something to the imagination? I believe I speak for everyone when I say “Get off my lawn, you darned kids!”
I have comprised a list of things that should never be demonstrated. Ever. This list is in no way comprehensive.
Where does the over-sharing stop? Some things are just meant to be kept private.
***this was not the exact product. Sadly, there are more than a few out there. I cannot remember the name of the one advertised, which indicates an advertising fail on a whole different level, doesn’t it?
What gives you the heebie-jeebies?
By the time you’re reading this, surgery will be over and done with. That’s good.
My brain is getting the best of me. On the outside, I look like this:
But on the inside, I think I kind of feel like this:
How do I know? Maybe because I feel the anxiety sneaking up on me. And sometimes with no warning I screamed out expletives. And squawked like a chicken. Or maybe because it’s almost midnight and I’m working on a blog post with a pile of medical forms sitting next to me that I have yet to fill out. As the nice lady at the surgical center reminded me today, anything could happen, and I should be prepared. I realized there are things I need to say in case things go wrong.
To my husband: My years with you have been something else. We married so young. At 23 I didn’t always make the best decisions, but man, I really nailed that one. No regrets, babe. I’d say yes again in a skinny minute. As we discussed, my wish is to be cremated and the ashes made into a diamond, which you will then wear someplace very tender so that I can continue to be a constant irritation to you. It will be almost like I’m still with you, except you’ll have to make your own coffee. Don’t eat my MoonPies until you’re sure I’m really dead. Poke me with a stick a few times if you have to.
To my Girl-child: You are growing into a remarkable young woman. May your college years be filled with wonder. You can have my iPod if you promise not to delete Minecraft. You can imagine me hanging in the Nether. And take care when choosing guys and tattoos. They’re a lot the same – choose the wrong one, and they hang around forever and are a real and expensive pain to get rid of.
To the Padawan: I look with pride at how you are growing up, the choices you’re making for yourself, the responsibility you are taking. You can have my Harry Potter Legos. You just can’t actually open them. You’re welcome.
To Squish: Look at you, big kid! You’re learning to read! You can have ALL my Mercer Mayer books. We like Little Monster the best, don’t we? My wish for you is that you grow up to be like your dad, but with less of a fascination for looking over your left shoulder when you drive.
To the guys in the Herpetology department: thanks for making me one of the guys. It was even better than I could have imagined. If we hatch any Angolan pythons this year, I’m taking all the credit. Don’t screw it up.
So there. Hopefully in a few hours, I’ll be safely tucked back into my own bed with a cat at each corner. Until then, friends, peace.
I do not know why I am crabby today. It’s raining? I have a million things to do, but I’m completely uninspired? My Ricky Martin CD has a giant scratch on it? All my readers dumped me because I like “Living La Vida Loca?” Take your pick.
Preschoolers with squeakers in their shoes. When a baby begins to take those first wobbly steps, little squeaker-shoes are kind of cute. When the kid has the speed and coordination to train for the Boston Marathon, it’s time to give us all a break. Mom and Dad, you realize that the other people around you have ears, too, right?
Politicians who write off any concern for the environment as a strictly liberal agenda. The Lord gave man dominion over the animals in Genesis 1:26. Dominion is not equal to BDSM. Just because God put is in charge doesn’t mean we have the right to go all Christian Grey on the planet and screw it over every which way from Sunday, dumping poisons into the sky and water and killing our forests. Besides, I thought the notion of not pooping where we eat was more common sense than political.
Radio stations that play the same ten songs. Over and over and over. Hey, DJs! I have a secret to share! New music is released every Tuesday. And did you also know that each new album consists of more than one song? I know DJs gotta promote what they gotta promote, but those truncated playlists drive me to turn off the radio and put in a CD of my own choosing. That I will listen to over and over and over. So there.
Changes in website interface that interferes with functionality. WordPress, I’m looking at you, here. The old interface was easier for someone with my vision issues to read. The new stats page is an endless scroll in a predominately light-blue. I didn’t use my stats page a great deal before. I certainly use it less now. And let’s not even talk about the “new and improved” editor where some of the old options are either gone or so well-hidden I can’t find them. This peeve isn’t the least bit funny, actually. I spend many hours on WordPress. Functionality lost = time wasted.
Labeling things as “artisanal.” Stop it right now! If you’ve carved a jewelry box out of a chunk of cherry wood, you’re an artisan. If you made a popsicle, you are not. Same goes for “handcrafted.”
Homophones. Why, Y, wye?!
What’s on your nerves today?
Recently I announced the winners of the Mixed Feelings giveaway. The grand prize winner never claimed her prize, so we went back to Rafflecopter to choose another e-book winner. Congrats to A. Burdick on winning the e-book. Of course, choosing a new grand prize winner meant turning once again to Pixel, who has the work ethic of, well, a cat. 2 bows, and a pound of catnip later, let’s see how she did.
Life has a way of teaching us what we need to know if only we are paying attention. Some lessons are easy; some we learn have to learn the hard way.
Today, Pixel learned about stinkbugs. Yo, fuzz-face! There’s a reason they’re called that!
It looks like she’s learned her lesson.
But I wouldn’t count on it.
Hey, listen. If you entered my drawing for the ebook and grand prize back in November, be sure to check the email you used when you entered. We’re trying to get in touch with the winner. Beth B, are you out there?
This year, one very popular resolution has been to either start a blog or to be more involved with an existing one. I think I can help you guys out!
No one asked me for advice, but I’ll pretend they did. I think I’m pretty qualified to make some suggestions, not because I’m a blogger, but because am a reader. I read blogs. A lot of them. Every, single day. A significant portion of my lunch break at work is devoted to catching up on my blog reading. I enjoy reading the work of old friends, and I adore discovering the next great voice.
So how do you make your blog stand out? I’m a WordPress user, so some of my suggestions are specific to this platform. If you use Blogger, you’ll need to check and see if your platform has similar features.
1) Decide your intended audience: Ultimately we should write for ourselves, of course, but most of us hope to have some readers. Knowing your audience will help determine your approach to a given topic. Blogs intended to be read only by family, for example, will likely have a different focus than one that is meant for a wider readership. A back-to-school post meant only for grandma might consist of a snapshot of little Lulu and her giant backpack with a caption “Lulu on the first day of preschool. What a big girl!” A post with a bigger readership will need a bit more meat to it. Those related to her actually care about Lulu. The average reader won’t. A back-to-school post may still be appropriate, but it will need to be handled a different way. A tortoise blog directed toward the scientific community is going to be much more technical than one aimed at the general public.
An aside here: for parents who are new to blogging, decide from the get-go how and if you are going to present those kids in your blog. Will you use their first names? An initial? A nickname? It’s a personal decision, and it makes no nevermind to me as a reader, but I’ve talked to a number of parents who wished they had given more thought to using their kid’s name. Once that name is out there, it’s really tough to take back.
2) Post regularly. This bit of advice is on every how-to list you’ll find. There’s a reason for that. Posting regularly helps people get to know you. Writing regularly also helps to hone your skills. Posting daily is fine, especially at first, but don’t feel like you have to, and don’t expect all but your most loyal readers to read every day. I only follow a few daily blogs, including this one. I don’t have time to read a ton of dailies. You’ll find that certain days of the week get more traffic than others, anyway. No point in wasting your brilliance on a Saturday if all of your readers are at the beach.
3) Don’t post more than once a day. New bloggers are very excited and have lots to say. Publishing multiple posts in a day can be a hardship for readers, however. Assume that anyone following your blog also follows others. Be respectful of their time. Use WordPress’s auto-post feature. Schedule posts out over the course of a few days, a few weeks, even a few months.
4) Use SEO to your advantage, but don’t abuse it. Search Engine Optimization simply means tagging your posts effectively. If all of your posts are uncategorized, it’s harder for a search engine to point readers your way. Use relevant tags.The important word here is “relevant.” I’ve seen a few bloggers try to boost their traffic by using tags for hot-topics that aren’t related to their post at all. Tagging a post about taking your cat to the vet with “Ferguson” or “Bill Cosby” may bring some traffic, but it will also land a blogger on WordPress’s naughty list and will turn off conscientious readers.
Don’t forget to tag your images, too. Which brings us to…
5) Throw in an image or two. Pictures help break up walls of text. We humans are visual creatures. Gimme something to look at. And you don’t have to be a great photographer or even own a camera. There are plenty of good quality images available under Creative Commons. Here’s a great article on where to find free images and how to properly credit the image owner. Pick smart. Don’t steal. Karma is a you-know-what.
6) Use social media properly. Now that I follow a gazillion blogs, social media is my favorite way to follow new ones. Use the Publicize feature on WordPress to automatically publish links to your post on your favorite social media sites. Be aware that most of your Facebook friends will never see your post in their feed unless you cough up some cash. Twitter, however, directly publishes to all of your followers. Be careful that your Twitter isn’t cross-posting to Facebook, which then cross-posts to Twitter, which then cross-posts to… This is a common mistake. Check your social media settings. Sometimes I’ll see six identical posts in a row from the same person because their all of their social media is set to cr0ss-post everything.
7) Be yourself. My favorite blogs have one thing in common – they are unique. Amy’s blog is very different from Nicole’s blog, which is nothing like Linda’s blog. None of them are trying to be anybody else. Be who you are. Unless you’re mean. Then go right ahead and pretend to be something else.
8) Write what interests you. We talked about intended audience and all that, but your first reader is you. If you don’t like what you’re doing, no one else will, either. I write about tortoise belly buttons. Because it makes me happy.
9) If a reader leaves a comment, respond if you can. Answering comments helps to build a sense of community. Never, ever responding to comments completely is kind of rude. Sometimes we’re not available to respond immediately, or we find ourselves with 80 comments in the queue, or an individual comment gets buried in the notifications. Readers get that. And sometimes a comment is antagonistic, so withholding an answer is actually taking the high road, but most readers are earnest in their comments. Answer when you can.
10) Read other blogs. Don’t just read them, engage with them. Leave a (meaningful) comment where appropriate. Not in the hopes that they will return the favor, either. Engage with other bloggers. Build your own little blogging family.
What do you love in the blogs that you read? This post may morph into a mini-series, so additional tips are welcome!
A couple of months ago I announced a giveaway for a remarkable debut novel. And then I took an unannounced break from blogging due to carpal tunnel. My bad. And then we adopted Pixel’s sister, Bellatrix, which brings the cat-count up to four. Cat food is expensive, so I decided it was time for Pixel to get a job. She decided she’d like to be a life-coach because she likes telling people what to do, so I said to myself “Self, why don’t you combine the giveaway with Pixel’s career aspirations and let HER pick the winner?” Good enough!
Now, Rafflecopter did its little job and picked three names for us. They are:
Pixel’s assignment was to choose the grand prize winner. The name of each winner was written on the bottom of a different color Christmas bow – her favorite toy of all time. All she had to do was pick one up.
Sometimes I forget she has the work ethic if a cat.
10 minutes, a quart of catnip, and endless attempts later, nothing doing. Pixel was summarily released from her contract. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t care. But wait! Who is that in the wings, ready to pounce? It’s BLOSSOM! 15 years old and ready to do the job! (click to enlarge)
Very Bangled and Linda, you guys win e-copies of Mixed Feelings. Beth, you win the grand prize pack! Congratulations!
Kate from Candlemark & Gleam will be in touch via the email address you guys used to enter the drawing. Thanks for playing! And worry about Pixel. She still gets to tell me what to do.
There. I said it. I hate the New Year. And not just this new year, either. I have nothing against 2015. It is the year of my 20th wedding anniversary, and it’s divisible by five; what’s not to like? The year itself looks pretty promising. It’s not the new year that intimidates me. It’s the New Year, the one with capital letters, the one that carries in one hand the high expectations of making a change; and in the other, failure.
My New Year tends to go something like this:
January 1 – Get drunk on the possibility of changing every aspect of my life.
January 2 – “Holding strong. Look at me! I’ll do it this time!”
January 3 – “What was so wrong with the old me? NOTHING!”
January 4 – “Screw it. I’m going to watch Malcolm In the Middle and eat MoonPies until my eyeballs fall out.”
Later, rinse, repeat.
It’s a nice idea, really. A new year is a blank slate with endless potential. We don’t yet know what the coming year will hold, so just for a second we stand weightless on the precipice of the future. For one shiny minute it feels like nothing is impossible. And therein lies the trouble. Each new year becomes New Year; it becomes THE year, the one in which we will finally lose weight, exercise more, succeed at a hobby, stick to a budget, drop a bad habit, pick up a good one. This is the year I WILL FINALLY BE PERFECT!
It never happens. Fear of failure creates failure. By February, the budgeting software lies collecting dust in the back of the closet, the new treadmill is a coat rack, and failure takes its place at the dinner table like an old friend.
It’s lose/lose game, and I’m not going to play anymore. I’ve done my reflecting on the old year. I know what didn’t turn out the way I had hoped, and I know where I went wrong. They’re my mistakes. I own them. Will I change them? I’d like to. But I have to find a new way to do it. Making a blanket promise to the New Year hasn’t worked for me. This time I’m starting small. My new motto is this: “Just for today.”
It’s not just mine. I borrowed it from my 12-step friends. It works for me. I need that reminder that I don’t have to change my entire life, I just have to change my right now. I don’t have to do anything forever or even tomorrow. Just for today. Tomorrow can take care of itself.
I do have goals. Not for the year, but for the near future. They’re general ones, things I have some control over. I want to blog more and create enough of a focus that it doesn’t devolve into the ramblings of a crazy cat lady. I want to edit/rewrite a book I wrote last year, one I have been too afraid to look at since April. I’ve made a good start, working on it four consecutive days already. And I’ll do it again today. Even if it’s just today.
One foot in front of the other. That’s how these journeys go.
What are some of your goals?
Today’s the day. I’m so sorry. I’ve been home with you for over a week now, and it has been so great. I’ve had a good time being with you. You surprise and amaze me all the time. You make me laugh.
I hate to leave you. I love my job so much, and I’m not sorry that it’s there waiting for me, but it breaks my heart that going to work means I have to leave you behind.
Don’t give me that look. There’s nothing I can do about it. Nothing lasts forever, vacations chief among them. Besides, Dad will be here all day. All day! You guys can play. He loves to play! You just have to remind him when it’s time to eat. He’s skinny and sometimes he forgets.
You’ll have fun. You’ll see. The time will go so fast, and I’ll be home before you know it. You won’t even have time to miss me. When I get home, I’ll give you a big hug, and it’ll be our turn to play!
Cheer up, dear one. I’ll see you soon.