I decided not to make resolutions this year, mostly because it’s too hard to spell. I made goals instead. It’s a tip I picked up from a co-worker. She is so wise! A resolution can die a sad death within seconds of the clock striking midnight on January 1. A goal is a year-long kind of thing. I like the idea of something I can’t screw up the first day. Win! I have all these
grandiose grand schemes, and mama needs to get these bad boys off the ground.
In 2016 my goal is to:
- Hatch more of these:
- Take up a new creative hobby. I’m thinking of knitting or crochet. Anyone want to teach me?
- Drink more water. 20 ounces when I first wake up.
- Pee more. Also counts as a hobby, so double win!
- Eat better quality food. No more eating chocolate that I found on the floor. Unless it has been there for under five seconds because there’s no sense in being wasteful.
- Be more organized. No more storing shopping lists in the sock drawer.
- Bring home fewer of these:
- And fewer of these:
- Quit referring to husband as “Grouchy kill-joy who doesn’t want me to have lots of cool pets or be happy”
- Spend less money on frivolous things. Everyone knows that Funko figures are a necessity. I’ll cut out some of the extravagances like heat. My kids are so spoiled on warmth. We have five cats. They can use those as personal warming devices.
- Eat less fast food. One fewer Sonic burger is less. I’m perfectly happy to cross one off on a technicality.
- Read more. With all that water I’m drinking, I’ll be spending more time staring at the walls in public restrooms.
- Write more. See above. Also counts as creative new hobby if I use a sharpie and sign my name to my work. I’ll be the Banksy of public toilets.
- Make my mark on the world. Again, sharpie.
- Take the boys on another vacation. And remember this time to apply the sunscreen at effective intervals.
- Learn a new skill. Maybe peeing standing up? Or finally learning to program the VCR.
- Find constructive ways to deal with my anxiety. Hitting bricks with a frying pan sounds kind of awesome.
- Take Christmas tree down before Easter. Eh, who am I kidding?
Did you make any goals or resolutions this year? Or break any? I’m not here to judge.