Nearly Wordless Wednesday: Happy Sun Day!

I know. It’s Wednesday. But this weekend, we celebrated the sun! Because it came out, and it was warm.

Gimme some salad! And some vitamin D!

Gimme some salad! And some vitamin D! That tongue slays me.

And look at the newest zoo baby! It’s a pancake tortoise, one of my favorite species.

Maybe Spring will come again. There’s hope on the horizon!

Second Chances

If I have said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. Life is too short to read bad books. But sometimes the parting of the ways comes not through any fault of the book itself. This year I decided to give A Game of Thrones another go.

I started reading it a couple of years ago, I guess. It was the first library loan on my brand new Kindle Fire. If you look at my top pages and posts on any given day, you will likely see how that particular relationship ended. Long story short, I sent back the device before I finished the book.

I was content to live Throneless for the rest of my days, but the universe has ways of changing our minds. It started with discovering A Clash of Kings at the Friends of the Library book sale. Hard cover, good used condition, $2. Then over the course of the year, I found three others in the series at thrift stores. A near-complete series cost me just over three bucks. The universe wins again. I found a copy of book one (at the used bookstore, and guess who had trade credit?) and a few days ago, I sat down to read.

My original thought was that the world Martin built is more memorable than the characters themselves. My second thought was that A Game of Thrones is possibly the worst book to read during the polar vortex. I’m cold. So cold. Winter is coming? Whatever, Starks. I’ve got news. Winter is already here. I hate Catelyn already, what with her nice hot water steaming through the walls, and all I’ve got is this stupid rice sock. The snow is going to pile deeper still, and we’ll never get out, and I’m almost out of milk! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! Wait. Where was I?

In the first ten pages, I was drawn into the story. I could not remember why I was able to put this book aside so easily. Oh, yeah! There it is! Now I remember! In a world with thirty main characters, it makes sense to give some of them the same name. And how’s about we toss in a nickname or three? Eddard? Sometimes we’ll call him Ned, even when the chapter header refers to him by his formal name.How about Robert and Robert and Robb. And let’s toss in a Brandon, a Bran or two and maybe some oats for fiber. I’m waiting for a Jehoshaphat to pop up somewhere. I’m just gonna call him Steve.

I’m struggling as well with the line between fantasy and reality. Newborn dire wolf pup that licks someone’s face? I’m not overly familiar with the species since they went extinct about 10,000 years ago, so maybe it was possible. No, it’s not. I’m more ready to believe that fossilized dragon eggs come to life than I am that five spoiled children have the ability to train pet wolves to advanced levels. I’ve actually trained a dog or five. There’s only so much reality I can suspend. Fantasy I can deal with; schoolgirl fantasy I cannot.

I’m hung up in the nitpicky things. Because it’s cold, and I’m grouchy, and it’s cold. But I’ll keep reading. The universe says I must. I still have hopes for it. Maybe. Except for the fact that Martin hates both his readers and his characters.

Have you ever given a book a second chance? Did it end well? I’m pretty sure this one’s not going to end well. I’ve read the jokes. “Why isn’t George R.R. Martin on Twitter? He’s already killed all 140 characters.” But I’m in, at least for now. Worst case scenario, I hate the series and resell them at the used bookstore to buy Harry Potter action figures with my windfall. Best case scenario, I find a new favorite series and languish in agony until the 6th book comes out. I’m hoping for the latter. I never pick up a book without hoping it will become my new best friend.

This Won’t End Badly

So I made a tiny mistake this morning. Miniscule, really. I shouldn’t even be bothering you with it.

I got up this morning after a terrible dream in which girl-child wanted to move in with her grandmother because we had no weekend plans besides watching television and I threatened to send her to a work camp. Weird, I know. We never watch television.

Anyway, my tail was dragging. I did manage to plow through the morning routine, and there’s the problem. For you math majors, here’s an equation that adds up to trouble.

Muscle memory + coffee pot + husband leaving unusually early = making too much coffee.

No big deal. I poured my cup and put the rest in the thermos to save for tonight.Yeah, it’s a good Thermos. One day I’ll compose a poem in it’s honor. It’s several years old, but it still work…

I digress again. How did that happen? OH! I know! I came home from dropping off Squish in six degree weather. That’s degrees Fahrenheit, not dog years. It was flippin’ COLD! And I was cold. And grouchy. And upset because the heat cable we bought last night at Wal-mart (I know. But according to store inventories, it was the last place in a 50 mile radius that had one)  to keep our water pipe from bursting (again) had apparently been previously purchased and returned to the store because it was broken. So I was mad. And cold. Did I mention cold? I was cold.

I came home and jury-rigged a space heater and a box fan to try to warm the garage enough that the pipes won’t freeze. The garage was cold. My heart was cold. But you know what was hot? The coffee in the Thermos. I poured it. I drank it. Three extra cups of coffee. Not three cups of coffee, mind. Three extra cups. And I forgot to eat breakfast. Six cups of coffee. Empty stomach.

9:30am – I need to get busy! So much to DO! Laundry! Lots of laundry! ! FASTER, you stupid machine! FASTER! If the pipes burst, I want all my clothes to be clean! Wow. It’s hot in here. I should wash the clothes I’m wearing while I’m at it.

10:00am– Bored with laundry. Clothes are stupid. Maybe I’ll do some writing.Writing. What do I write? I don’t have any words. WHERE DID THE WORDS GO? I’m cold. Where are all my clothes? Why are they in the washer? I AM SO COLD!

10:30 – Forget writing. I need to scrapbook. 450 photographs to squeeze into an 80 page book. How am I going to do this? What is the matter with me? Why do I take so many pictures? I’m a terrible person. I am a pixel-hoarder. I will never get through this. NEVER GET THROUGH THIS!

11:00 – 30 pages of 80 page scrapbook done. All done. I am awesome! If I keep this up, I’ll have two weeks’ worth of work done IN ONE DAY! Whoa. Why is my t-shirt all fluttery? Oh, that’s just my heart. Cool! Look at it go! Like a little hummingbird. I can’t wait to see hummingbirds. They’ll come back in the Spring. If it is ever Spring. What if all the people in China jumped off a chair at the same time and impacted the earth’s tilt so that it will never be warm again?

11:30 – Finished drying the clothes. They’re so warm! So warm. It seems a waste to put them away. Maybe I’ll just drop them in the floor and lie on them!

12:00 – My good buddy reminds me that maybe I should eat something. Because she loves me. She’s my pal. And I love her right back. I love you, too. In case I forgot to tell you that. I do. I think it’s something that people should say more. I am eating. I got some oyster crackers and salted caramel cocoa. And they’re so good! Where’s my last cracker? Did you take my last oyster cracker? I open my little fluttery heart to you and this is the thanks I get? CRACKER THIEF! Pour one out for my lost oyster cracker.

12:30 – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I found my oyster cracker. It was in my sleeve. I ate it. It was soggy. I think the cat sneezed on it. I am sad.

1:00 Is it time to get the kids yet? Wow. I am burning up. It is so hot in here! Is it hot in here to you? Am I going through The Change? I hope not. I just bought hygiene supplies. Hey! Maybe I can insulate the garage with tampons? I might not be needing them otherwise, and I’d hate to waste a perfectly good Tampax.

2:00 – It’s still not time to get the kids. What am I going to do? I wish I could think of something to write about because I have never typed so fast in my life! Here, kitty! Let Mommy paint your toenails!

2:30 – Husband is due home any minute. It’s about time to make some coffee.

Look! We have matching coffee mustaches!

Look! We have matching coffee mustaches!

Snow Day

After two weeks of Christmas vacation and some unexpected snow days, today we are finally returning to school. Conversation in my house this morning:

“I think I’m sick.”

“You’re fine.”

“My throat is really sore.”

“Uh-huh. You’re going.”

“I bet the buses still aren’t fixed.”

“They’re running. You’re going to school.”

“Water pipes have probably burst.”

“No one has called to cancel school. You’re going.”

“I just threw up on the couch.”

“You didn’t throw up.That’s just spit.You’re just- what?! Why did you spit on the couch?”

“I’m too tired!”

“Serves you right. You stayed up much later than you should.”

“What if the kids are mean?”

“They won’t be.”

“I don’t wanna gooooo! You can’t make meeee!”

“You have to go. You’re the teacher.”

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Fine. I’m here. Hope my husband is happy.

Happy “You’re Finally Back At School” Day, everyone.

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