The 17 Stages of Alexander Hamilton

After listening to the soundtrack to Hamilton approximately three times a day for a year, I decided I should probably get around to reading the book it was based on. Unfortunately, it was out of my price range until the day I found it remaindered for $5. I think they were selling it by the pound. This thing is a tome. But no pain, no gain, right?

But be forewarned. This book is a process.

Stage 1: Oh, my gosh! I’ve finally got the book, and now I will understand what the musical is talking about because I know so little about his role in history! Whee! I am not throwing away this shot!

Stage 2: Wow, this book is, like, really long. On my e-reader, it’s 1300 pages. I might be reading this for a while. Eh, what else do I have to do?

Stage 3: Gosh, Ron Chernow can write! This is so, so good! That poor little boy, abandoned and orphaned!

Stage 4: Wow. I’ve been reading for a couple of weeks already, and we’re not through the Revolutionary War yet.

Stage 5: Dude writes a lot of pamphlets. A man of many words is Hamilton.

Stage 6: More pamphlets. I did not see that coming. It’s been three weeks, and I still have 800 pages to go.

Stage 7: Another pamphlet. Or seven. Or 31. I’ve lost count. Along with my will to live.

Stage 8: I am glad this book is good because I am pretty sure I will never get to read another one in my life. Oh, look. He wrote another pamphlet. Did not see that coming.

Stage 9: Wow, Burr is a snake in the grass (sorry, snakes)!

Stage 10: YAY! I’ve read 800 pages! Oh. I still have 500 to go. Annnd there’s another pamphlet.

Stage 11: If Dude writes another pamphlet, I might shoot him myself. I have to finish this book so I can finally get the soundtrack out of my head!

Stage 12: The author just mentioned that Hamilton has only a few years left. I might throw a party.

Stage 13: C’mon, Burr! You gonna let him get by with that kind of smack talk? You should call him out for his big mouth.

Stage 14: The DUEL! We’re here! Yay! Click, BOOM!

Stage 15: Oh, gosh. He’s dying. Don’t die! Live, man, LIVE!

Stage 16: I… finished it. Don’t talk to me for a few days. I need to grieve.

Stage 17: Wow. So, so good! I…  I think I need to read it again.