Next Stop: Cusco

In last week’s post, my husband and The Padawan helped me plan out our trip to Peru in their special way. Today, we’re going to Cusco! It took a minute to get there. We do things on the cheap, so if you travel with me, expect a few connecting flights. Our first flight was to Atlanta. It was an uneventful evening flight. We expected a bit of a layover. Our flight was at 11:00PM, and we arrived at about 8:00. The beautiful thing about Atlanta is that every seat has multiple charging ports, so we settled in to charge our devices, read, and maybe take a tiny nap. Enter Mason.

We’d been relaxing for maybe an hour, seats at the gate slowly filling up. Seasoned travelers laid on the floor, using their packs as pillows. And suddenly, the peace was shattered by a tiny typhoon. We knew his name within the first ten seconds of his arrival with his enormous extended family. We couldn’t figure out his story. As he ran up and down the rows of seats, squealing and poking strangers, no parental figure stood out. No one asked him to quit hitting. When, in a voice channeling Satan himself, Mason demanded CANDY NOW, Uncle Steve gave it to him. Aunt Heather sat behind us, riffling through her purse. “It’s time to medicate,” she said in an exhausted voice. “He’s not missing this dose.” Where were Mom and Dad? Were they meeting up in Lima? Or was Mason a sad orphan that no one quite knew what to do with? Watching him sneak up and smack his older cousins, who were just trying to catch some sleep, I couldn’t find it in my heart to feel sorry for him. When we learned our flight had been delayed yet another hour, and then two, I did feel sorry for us. The kid never stopped. You had to admire his energy. I guess. At least on the flight, we had earplugs.

Our flight touched down hours late, and I knew we’d missed our connecting flight. There was nothing we could do about it, so why worry? We’d get there eventually. We did. And it was stunning.

The topography of Cusco is so different from home. Where we have lush, green hills, their hills are bare. It is a desert. We touched down at the beginning of the rainy season, and we’d get an afternoon downpour, but in an hour, the water was gone, with no evidence that it had ever been there at all. The hills were dotted with homes, easily visible even from a great distance, the trees so small and stunted they provided no shade. As we headed out of the airport and into the sun, we could feel the intense, burning heat. Deserts are funny things. During the day, the temperature spikes to uncomfortable heights, but the moment the sun sets, the world turns cold. It’s not unusual to experience 30 degree drops in temperature within a few minutes.

The altitude is what takes out most travelers in the beginning. At 11,300ft above sea level, a few days adjustment is required. I brought medication for altitude sickness, but I only had issues one night. As we traversed the city, I only experienced a little tightness in my chest going up steep hills (Cusco is ALL hills). My companions didn’t fare quite as well.

We were placed in a homestay with the amazing Gabriela. Her home was enormous and centrally located, so on any given night, there were at least eight volunteers in residence, sometimes as many as twelve. Her home provided easy access to Maximo Nivel‘s headquarters, and many volunteers were within walking distance of their project, or at least a short bus ride away. The other new arrivals were struggling with headaches and muscle spasms. Even the coca we bought in the market didn’t help. It takes time to adjust.

We were given the option to rest upon arrival, but who can rest with a whole new country just outside the door? We had to explore, and within a day, I felt like it was my city. We were warned about pickpockets, told to hide our phones, etc. But it’s no different than being in any crowded area, anywhere in the world. The key to being left alone is a Resting Bitch Face and a rapid pace. Don’t handle your money in public, don’t leave your phone hanging out of your pocket, walk like you mean it.

Inca artifacts are everywhere. The whole city is literally built on them. My husband had done some reading, and he heard about the Twelve Angels, so we went off in search. We were not successful, but we saw so much of the city.

We searched all afternoon, to no avail. We did encounter one of the Alpaca Ladies, women who dress in traditional clothing and will let you take their picture for a couple of soles (about fifty cents, US). We found ONE angel in stone, so there must be eleven more, right? We couldn’t find them. That night, a little research concluded that we had been looking for the twelve ANGLES. This.

It’s a stone that highlights the incredible stonework of the Incas. They used no mortar at all. They carved each stone to fit so precisely that none was needed. Speaking of, as we were exploring the city, encountering the travesty that is a Starbucks off the historic Plaza de Armas, who should we run into again? Mason. Our guardian angel must have misunderstood. We were looking for MASONRY, yo. We heard his melodic shrieks from a block away. The whole family looked tired. Except for Mason. He is such a joy.

I try not to be too wordy in my posts, so I’ll leave off here. I just have so much to share. In our next installment, shall we head to the jungle?

Livin’ La Vida Selva

It’s been a minute. Life gets in the way of blogging sometimes, which I suppose is better than blogging getting in the way of life. I have had some big adventures. I’ll share them all over time, and today’s the first installment.

Back in August of 2021, I applied for funding for a personal development opportunity through my job at the zoo. Did you know that at accredited zoos, a portion of each ticket price is set aside for staff development? This can be a workshop in Raiser’s Edge for Development and Human Resources, a construction project building schools in developing countries for Maintenance or Exhibit Design teams, or it can send keepers to in-situ conservation projects so they can learn more about the care of animals in their native habitats or help with ongoing research in the wild.

My goal was to go to Peru and assist with a reforestation project in the Peruvian side of the Amazon rain forest. I got approved for the funding, and this past October, my husband, The Padawan, and I made the trek as far off the grid as I have ever been.

I booked the Peruvian side of the arrangements through Maximo Nivel. This organization provides the volunteers for multiple projects across Central and South America. People can do everything from teach English to kids, work in animal care in a zoo or on a farm or dog sanctuary, build schools, etc. They have use for all skill-sets. To be clear, these projects are NOT Maximo projects. They find these projects and provide volunteers, usually long-term. It is possible to book with some projects directly, but I STRONGLY recommend going through Maximo. They are one of the highest-rated volunteer organizations I have found, with the majority of money going to build volunteer teams. The cost is so reasonable, and it covers everything once volunteers are in their destination country – food, lodging (often a home-stay, which is lovely), training, ground transportation (including an airport shuttle), and backup support, which we learned the hard way is INVALUABLE. Unless you’re a seasoned traveler who is familiar with the ins and outs of the chosen country, I recommend booking through Maximo. I am not getting a kickback from Maximo for recommending them so highly. I just DO. For real. Trust Heather. It cost $900 for 2 weeks. The only other thing I had to cover was my flight.

Because the project is open to anyone who is physically able to do the work and can pass a background check, my husband and The Padawan booked their own arrangements and went with me. I gave them one job. One. Job. They were to find me the perfect neck pillow. One job.

The Spousal Unit sent me this:

And the Padawan sent this:

And that was when I was pretty certain this trip was going to kill us all.

Next post, we’re going to Cusco! Not Costco, mind. CUSCO!

Back In the Game

I know I’m not alone when I say that the last couple of years have been a complete and utter cluster-cluck. The pandemic was hard enough with school going virtual, work shutting down for a couple of months, wondering if we were going to be unemployed and lose everything. We survived it, but 2020 decided to go down swinging.

A couple of days after Christmas, I took my husband to the emergency room for severe abdominal pain that had been building for weeks. His primary care doctor hadn’t come up with a correct diagnosis after multiple tests, and I was not going to wait anymore. I’d have taken him on Christmas except that it had snowed so much there was no way to get a car out or ambulance in due to the steep hills every direction, and it wasn’t possible for him to walk to the nearest cleared road to catch a ride from there. When I think about it at all, I can still feel the suffocating anxiety. How would I get him to the hospital? Would they be able to figure out what was wrong?

At the emergency room, the doctor said it sounded like classic gallbladder symptoms and sent him for a CT scan. Two hours later, he was in emergency surgery for a baseball-sized bowel obstruction. Six more hours passed alone in the surgical waiting room until I learned from a surgeon I’m fairly certain is still in middle school that the obstruction was a tumor, likely cancer. It amazes me the ease with which doctors can toss around words like “cancer” and “chemotherapy,” weightless as feathers instead of life-altering bricks raining from the sky. A biopsy later, and cancer was confirmed. We learned entirely new vocabulary. “Clean margins.” “5FU.” “Neuropathy.”

The following six months were lived in two-week increments. Chemo one week, recover the next, lather, rinse, repeat. The nice planner I bought for 2021 lay collecting dust on my dresser. Goals shifted from writing a couple thousand words a night to “get dinner on the table. Wash dishes. Did The Destroyer finish his homework?” Our lives were measured out in episodes of “The Office,” “Jeopardy,” “Wheel of Fortune.” Our social connections consisted of friends dropping off a meal the evening after treatment. We kept our heads down, and kept moving, one foot in front of the other.

Chemo ended a year ago. We began to make plans. Not big ones. We’re going to hike Gregory’s Bald, LeConte Trail, Charlie’s Bunyon. Next year. We’ll hike. We’ll get out and do it in 2022. Because we can. With this kind of cancer, if it doesn’t return in 2 years, it’s unlikely to ever come back again. We like those odds. 2023, we’re coming for you.

I don’t know when it happened, but one day I looked up and realized that we have moved on. One clear CT scan led to another, and then to another, and now we’re living our lives as though cancer never existed. It is a blip on a radar, a speck in the rear-view mirror. We adopted a dog-monster. Her name is Storm, and she has the energy of a caffeinated hurricane. I would never have considered adding chaos to the household if we were a cancer family, when we needed life to be as uncomplicated as possible.

We’ve hiked, too. Boy, have we hiked. We hit all three of our target trails within the span of a month, about 30 miles and God only knows how much elevation gain. On Gregory’s Bald, I kept thinking we would eventually run out of “up.” The Padawan even joined us for that one. We missed the peak of Flame Azalea season by about 10 days, but it was still worth it. We did it. We survived, and now we thrive.

Our next adventure is a trip to Peru to work on reforestation in the Peruvian Amazon. The Padawan is joining us for that one, too. Two weeks in the forest with no electricity or running water? Bring it. I did finally think to clear it with the oncologist a couple of weeks ago as an afterthought. She shrugged. “I don’t see why not.” Me, neither.

And here’s the best news. 2 years is considered cured. We learned at our last visit that the clock started the day they removed the tumor, not the day chemo ended. On December 27, we’ll be celebrating that two full years without cancer. We don’t have a year and some change to go; we have four months. In four months, this whole episode can be chalked up as a major pain-in-the-ass inconvenience and nothing more. We’re here. We’re back. We’re in this game to win it.

Nearly Wordless Wednesday: Squirrel, Interrupted, Adventures in wild animal rehab

One Girl-child, an injured baby squirrel, and a rehabber who couldn’t take him until morning adds up to one memorable night.

I am writing this from my doctor’s office. I am getting my meds adjusted. Hopefully in a couple of weeks, this rough patch will pass. I am keeping my frog consumption realistic, but I am still going to work on some small things. One tiny step forward. I’ve got this.

what’s on the menu for you today?

The Day of Reckoning

So, I ate some frogs yesterday. A rather lot of them, really. I didn’t think about it. I just snarfed them down. I went to the gym, I made a doctor’s appointment to possibly up my Cymbalta, I worked on a Christmas present that has lots of fiddly parts, did laundry, made dinner, and I cut the dog’s nails, and I even picked up a whiny kid from basketball practice and didn’t just leave them in the parking lot. Yay, me. I did it. I’m doing it. A bunch of frogs, all taken care of.

Have you ever had a frog, though, that got kind of big and just kept growing? For months? Like, went from egg to tadpole to frog right in front of you? And you watched it grow, and not only did you not really try to contain it, you actually fed it MORE? Ya’ll, don’t believe that garbage about frogs only growing to the size of their enclosure. They will outgrow you if you let them. And boy, did I let my metaphorical frog outgrow me.

Time to transfer to the new enclosure. For reference, the froglet is sitting in a 1/4tsp scoop.

My family’s motto is “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” Words to live by, and boy, do I. My heart comes alive in the spring, and what feeds my soul are houseplants. Lots of them. This year was no different, with one tiny exception. I often make starts of everything I can find because creating something new is beautiful. And powerful. And then I come across a plant or two on the clearance shelves at the home improvement store and add them to my little collection. And then I start more. And rescue more. Lather, rinse, repeat. All while forgetting for the moment that the total count of cat-proof windows in my house is exactly one. I’m a hoarder collector. What can I say?

My husband has learned not to say “You bought another plant?” because he is a patient man. And also because he would rather not find a cactus hiding in his pillow. But as the Fall draws near, I can tell he’s thinking it. By mid-October, so am I. And today, the frog I REALLY didn’t want to look at, much less eat, was bringing them inside for the cold weather.

When I say I have a lot of plants, I mean I have a LOT of plants. I gave 30 plants away, but I’m left with at least 60. For a single window. Does anyone see why I might have procrastinated on eating this particular frog?

I decided to make my life easier and buy a plant stand, and voila! Another cat-proof window. But, it’s Halloween. And I love Halloween. And my husband found the decorations. And it looks SO GOOD!

I mean, there are a FEW plants on it, so technically it’s still a plant stand, right?

So I got another set of shelves. And, because this year, not only did I add a million plants to my collection, my love lies toward succulents and cacti, I also had to get some grow lights. But fairy jars are so cool! And they make great gifts! And Christmas is coming. So maybe I created a few more fairy jars than I actually have space under the lights for. But PRETTY!

And maybe I love all the “strings of things” plants (dolphins, turtles, bananas, watermelons, hearts, and let’s not get started on the VARIEGATED ones!) a little too much and have plans of setting up a table at the farmer’s market in the spring. So I have boxes of propagations. Again, they make great gifts. And I only have to house them for, like, two months for Christmas.

So I bought another set of shelves. Because why wouldn’t I?

I mean, what else was a girl to do? It looks really good, and the only down side is that there are so many grow lights that if we go in the living room, we should probably put on sunscreen. I’m okay with it. I’m just pretending that we still have to find room for all of my trees. Has anyone ever bought a vacation house for their plants? Asking for a friend.

What frogs have you eaten today? I’d love it if you’d share in the comments.

Eating Some Frogs

It’s been a while. I’ve had a lot of thoughts to share, but not so much energy to share them. A lot has happened in the last ten months, and my brain went on vacation. It didn’t invite the rest of me, and I’m a little bitter about that. The only thing I’ve been crushing lately is candy. But husband’s treatment is done, his first post-treatment scan was clear, and now it’s time to get back into life. Is my blog life? That is yet to be decided and largely hinges on whether or not I can figure out the new format on WordPress. But it’s time to actually start living again. I’m ready.

A few weeks ago, I signed up for a challenge by Jon Acuff to get the ball rolling. If you’re not familiar with him, he’s a personal development speaker and writer. He has done things, and he likes queso. His writing is very accessible, and his books are short and to the point. His tips make sense. And he’s funny. Anyway, I signed up for a goals challenge, and I liked it. So I signed up for his new course called “Full Potential.” I also started listening to his podcast.

As I listened to the podcast, I started making a reading list of books that were mentioned in the podcast, either by the host or by the guest. This week, I have read Born to Win by Zig Ziglar, Soundtracks, by Jon Acuff, and Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy. The last one is REALLY short, but it gets right to the point. Based on the Mark Twain quote “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day,” Eat That Frog lists 21 ways to tackle the onerous tasks.

Lake Titicaca Frogs, also known as Scrotum Frogs. Please don’t eat them.

There’s one thing all of these experts have in common. More than one thing, really, but this one thing especially. The most effective people are always working off of to-do lists. It’s how they stay organized and focused, and it’s the best way to keep track of what frogs are left to eat. So I have made some lists. I used the ColorNote app to organize daily lists for work because I can have my lists in my pocket, and it’s easy to cross stuff off. It’s also easy to uncross the stuff so that I can reuse the list.

I’m eating frogs. I’ve stumbled, one foot in front of the other, for a year, and I want to get back to who I was. So I make my list, and I eat my frogs. The goal is to free up as much time as possible for the things I am passionate about. What I’ve learned, though, is that at this moment, I’m passionate about nothing. I don’t love anything. And I realized that I am more depressed than I thought I was because if you know me, you know there’s a lot of stuff I normally dearly love. Today, I don’t care about diddly squat. But future me will.

I know that this depression is a biological thing, a combination of life stressors and biology (this weird genetic liver thing I have can express in some serious psych symptoms. I know that this will pass because I have dealt with it for years. It will pass. Today, I don’t give a rat’s hind parts if I sink or swim, but tomorrow I might And the lists I am making may help.

There’s something about seeing a list of stuff crossed off at the end of the day or the week or the month. I might not care that I did it, I might not be interested in thinking about the end results right now, but I know that not doing anything at all makes me feel a million times worse. So I have my list of frogs. They might be tiny ones right now. But I am trying.

Today I did a big one. I went to the grocery store last night, and there was an error on my receipt, and customer service was closed. That meant I had to go back today if I wanted the refund. And I did it. I got my $8 back. Today, I went for a walk. I took my older kids to an open-air market. I planned out the things I want to get done this week, AND when I am going to do them. Meals are planned for the week. I crossed things off my list. Tomorrow, I will, too. One day at a time, one list at a time, one tiny item at a time. I am going to eat some frogs.

You know I love this guy. I know I love this guy. I will tap into my passion again. It’ll happen. Until then, lists.

Make a Paw-print Rubber Stamp! #PenPalooza

I’m fairly certain that most of us are aware that 2020 lasted about a decade. A long, lonely decade. I haven’t hugged my mom in over a year. It doesn’t look like restrictions will be (or even SHOULD be) lifted for several months, but in my opinion, it’s more important than ever to make connections to actual humans, even if I can’t do it in person. Enter PenPalooza, a network of over 10,000 humans who are dusting off the lost art of letter-writing.

I have a few pen pals now, and sending mail is great fun. Receiving it is even better. I’m a bit basic, so I haven’t invested a ton of money into it. I get the best note cards and writing paper the dollar store has to offer. But just because my stationary isn’t expensive doesn’t mean it lacks flare. I like putting my own mark on the stuff I send, or in this case, my paw print.

I thought I could show how simple it is to make a rubber stamp of a pet’s paw-print using really inexpensive materials and the cooperation of a pet.

Step 1: Collect the stuff you will need.

  • Liquid Nails
  • Corn Starch
  • Rubber gloves
  • A disposable container
  • Food coloring (optional)

Here’s all you need.

Step 2: Dump some of the corn starch into the disposable container and squeeze the silicone onto it. Mix with a stir or with a gloved hand. It will be sticky, which is why you are wearing gloves. Squish it, fold it, mash it so that it takes up the corn starch. If you opted for food coloring, add it in this step. I don’t use it because I don’t have any.

You will add more silicone as you go

Step 3: Treat the mixture like bread dough. If it is too sticky (which it will be to start), add corn starch. If it is too dry and the mixture cracks, add a bit more silicone. When the blob no longer sticks to your glove, it is about ready. It takes about five minutes of mixing, sometimes a little more, to get the mixture just right.  

Step 4: Roll the blob into a ball, flatten it a little in the container, place the container on a hard surface, and press your pet’s paw into it. It helps if you roll the paw from left to right to get the print, like you would if you were taking prints at the police station. If you don’t like the result, squish the blob back up and try step 4 again. Once you are satisfied with the print, set it aside and dust it with a little corn starchWhat you have now is a negative of your pet’s print. You can stop here if you like, it’s hard to get a good stamp from  a negative. I prefer to create a positive. To do this, repeat steps 1-3. 

The negative paw print. It’s hard to see the toe beans at this stage

Step 5: Take your new blob of mixture and press it gently into the mold that you made. You dusted it with corn starch, right? That’s to keep the two parts from sticking together. Peel them apart immediately. 

Press the fresh blob gently onto the negative. Be sure to dust with corn starch first!

Step 6: Set your new stamp aside and let it air-dry for a couple of hours. Then it’s ready to use!

TA-DA! TOE BEANS! Gently press the edges of the stamp down flatter than the toe beans

Before you use the stamp, rinse it with cold water to get off any extra corn starch. You can use your favorite ink to stamp, or you can use it on warm wax. You can even use it with tempera paint. Wipe your stamp down after each use.

Don’t throw your negative away. If you write enough letters, you may wear out your first stamp and have to make another one! 

What cool things do you like to add to hand-written letters? If you’d like to join PenPalooza, check out the hashtag on Twitter!

Signs You Are A #MAGAt

I know in these trying political times, it can be difficult to parse out all the hashtags out there. Are you puzzled over what you should get your knickers in a knot over? Do you look over your shoulder to see if people are making fun of YOU? You’ve wondered aloud “Am I a MAGAt?” I am here to help. Because I am a giver.

If you are wondering if you might be a MAGAt, take this short quiz.

  • Do you refuse to wear a mask because no one can tell you what to do! Because FREEDOM! ‘MURCA! though you honor policies that dictate “No shirt, no shoes, no service” and generally keep your pants on in public?
  • Are you experiencing any of the Kubler-Ross stages of grief because Parler is gone?
  • Do you believe that bakers should be able to refuse to make wedding cakes for gay couples but that Amazon, Google, and Apple are fascists happily stomping on free speech?
  • Have you had one or more accounts deleted by Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, LiveJournal, WattPad, or MySpace?
  • Do you have 10 digits following your Twitter handle because all your other accounts got removed?
  • Do you believe with all your heart that the 2020 Presidential election was stolen, despite complete and utter lack of evidence, despite courts from SCOTUS down to Sbarro at the mall throwing out suits due to lack of evidence just because Spanky the White House Clown said so?
  • Did you put the erection in “insurrection?”
  • Are you currently angrily typing “There IS no ‘erection’ in the word ‘insurrection, stupid!”
  • Is Fox News too leftist for you?
  • Is your heart full of hate?
  • Do you have a “Fu#$ Your Feelings” shirt but are crying because someone called you a MAGAt?
  • Have you used the word “cuck” in casual conversation?
  • Do you wish harm on politicians who voice disagreement with your leader?
  • Have the only parts of the Constitution you have actually read been the First and Second Amendments?
  • Is the racism of your leader not a deal-breaker for you?
  • Do you cheer when the current administration rolls back protections for marginalized people and the environment?
  • Do you believe the phrase “Black Lives Matter” means that no other lives in the rest of the world amount to a hill of beans?
  • Do you think kids belong in cages because their parents committed a misdemeanor?
  • Are you genuinely afraid of the Biden Administration because you are certain paybacks are hell?
  • Do you laugh when followers of the opposing leader cry?
  • Do you genuinely believe that the administration has done a great job?
  • Do you admire Spanky the White House Clown because he says all the things you wish you could say?
  • Are you upset or angry that you can’t leave a comment on this blog and didn’t realize that just by visiting, you move the blog up in SEO ranking?

Friend, if you answered any of the above questions in the affirmative, there is a good chance that you are a MAGAt. The only treatment for this condition is to push the button behind your left ear to re-engage your brain and head to a surgeon to see if they can reboot your empathy.

It’s A New Year. Now What?

It’s a New Year. You’ll have to excuse my lack of enthusiasm. I used all my confetti when I actually found bakers yeast at the grocery store.

Like many others, I kind of built up 2021 as being a magical demarcation in time, that line in the sand where the bad cannot cross. I invested in a beautiful new planner a few months ago. And when I say invested, I mean it. The thing cost me $50. It is a tome, weighing in at maybe more than my mini dachshund, but it prayerfully walks me through my goals for the coming year. I was scared of it delaying gratification, so that I put off opening it for several weeks after it arrived. Can I really meet goals that I set? Maybe? YES, I CAN! And what better time for new goals than the new year, am I right?

But what I didn’t see coming? I no longer have any goals. I was set to make a plan to pay off the house, build my Ebay business, submit more writing to various publications and competitions, hatch more Spider Tortoises. After spending nearly a week in the hospital following my husband’s emergency surgery, after a cancer diagnosis, a lot of stuff has slid off my goal list. It’s hard to get stoked about building a business. I have bigger fish to fry. Or maybe smaller fish.

Now my lovely, $50 planner seems as big as a Bible and just as esoteric. Things are a little overwhelming right now, and I’m not even sure how to begin. It’s hard to think about building a business when it’s hard to even get out of bed. But it feels like defacing a fine book to put in the milestones that are actually achievable. But let’s get real. For right now, I need to dial it back a notch if I’m not going to be curled up in the corner sucking my thumb. And forget about looking at a whole year. Seriously, one day at a time is about all I can deal with.

Instead of giant goals that threaten to smother me in my sleep, I’m making some smaller, daily goals. Yep, I’m lowering the bar, but the bar is adjustable for a reason. I’m not looking to do a Fosbury flop to break a world record. I just want to get OVER it.

  • Take a shower
  • Make necessary appointments
  • Print out paperwork for necessary appointments
  • Fill out paperwork for necessary appointments
  • Eat at least one real meal
  • Do a load of laundry
  • Put on clean clothes (WOOT! I can cross this one off! Today, anyway)
  • Pick up kid from school
  • Read something. Anything. The back of a cereal box? Count it! The ingredients list? You got it!
  • Watch twelve episodes of Pawn Stars
  • Avoid politics. I keep thinking that I just need to hang on until the 20th, and the nightmare will be over. Watching the GOP misbehave does me no favors.

I think sometimes we set up ourselves to fail when we put so much weight on the new year. It can be a blank slate, but really, so can tomorrow. What’s important is not that we’re moving forward. Even treading water beats moving backward. Sometimes standing still is progress. I will hold my ground. I might even decide to put on something other than sweatpants. Not today, though. I’ve done enough.

I did go out today and bought Lumen a new bed.
And now her goal is to get it back from Penny!

Does the new year feel different than the old one for you? What are your plans and dreams for 2021?

For the record, I am fine. Just really, really tired. This is going to be a blip on our radar. Even the surgeon said “Eh, you’re strong and fit. You’ll be fine.” I’m just tired. And cranky.

Be Careful What You Wish For

I discovered that I am magic and have the power to grant my own wishes. I did not know this, or I’d have been more careful. Apparently the wish granting is less “I Dream of Jeannie” and more “Monkey’s Paw.”

It started on Christmas eve. We were expecting a cold snap, complete with a dusting of snow. Lovely! I was dreaming of a white Christmas and all that. The paw twitches. Ha. Dusting of snow, my hind foot! Try five inches. My neighborhood is uphill both ways, and here in the South, our communities don’t invest a whole lot in snow equipment. I got my white Christmas, sure. But then I also got a mile walk in the snow and a three hour wait for someone to haul me to work on Christmas.

German shepherd in snow in the light of a streetlight with a boy in a University of Tennessee Hoodie (I know. Hoodie in the snow, but it's his fault if he gets cold), and a woman in yellow coat smiling at camera
Don’t judge me. The kid decided he wanted to leave the house in a hoodie. Eventually, I gave him my gloves.

Husband always gets a little glum at the holidays, especially this year since we’re socially distanced from extended family. I wished he would quit his bellyaching. The paw twitched. He did, but it involved emergency surgery to remove the source of the bellyache.

Husband and I had wished for a little getaway, just the two of us. The paw twitched. We got it. But this is the worst hotel ever. It’s the most expensive hotel we’ve ever stayed in, but the only thing on the room service menu is ice chips, and the good drugs are only given to one of us. I am pretty sure the bell hops are vampires because they sneak in here in the middle of the night and steal blood. And sometimes urine. That last one has me puzzled. I learned everything about vampires from Twilight, and they didn’t cover pee, Maybe it’s a wolf thing?

I think we might be staying in the Hotel California, because we checked in, but they won’t let us leave. Well, they don’t seem to care if I’m here, but it’s not a fun vacation if husband can’t sight-see with me And since we’re still in our hometown, so there aren’t that many sites TO see. So here I sit, watching The Office and texting home to make sure the children haven’t gone feral.

We wished for more time together. The paw twitched. Now we have nothing BUT time. A type A personality and type… Z? locked in one room together for days on end. Husband keeps telling me how to clean, and I may have threatened to smother him with his advance directive.

I’m hoping that we’re back on track soon, and that maybe my wish-making was just a 2020 phenomenon. I’m going to be careful not to make any more wishes, just in case there is any leftover 2020 floating around. I might try again in February, but not like I did last year, when I wished for travel and the whole world went to hell.

Lumen wishes you the happiest of new years. She didn’t know any better. Sorry.