I spent my day off cleaning the garage, throwing away all the useless crap we will never need again. No good deed goes unpunished. Last night, my lovely daughter said “Mom, when you’re down in the garage cleaning, can you look for some Beanie babies? I need them for school.” Um, Beanie babies? The ones you haven’t touched in five years? The ones I loaded into trash bags to haul off? Those Beanie babies?
Yes, as it turns out. Those exact Beanie babies. Why does a high school student need stuffed toys? I suspected a ploy to make me feel guilty for throwing stuff away. “Why do you need them?” was my clever query. I restrained myself from sticking out my tongue and adding “Nyah”
“Latin club is participating in a convention. I wanted some stuffed birds so students can chuck them at Prometheus’ liver.”
Well, poop. I guess she really did need them. I’m never throwing anything away again.
I'm pretty sure this is what Rubens really had in mind.
Becoming Cliche 
NEVER. AGAIN.
I still can’t believe she seriously needed them. She’s an enabler.
I KNOW! I thought she was yanking my chain at first.
So, you seriously think you needed an excuse? 😉
I didn’t. But I have one, so now I can do it guilt-free.
Eep! I can’t let Patrick read this post… I’m as impressed by your daughter as I am scared of your new vow to hoard. 😉
My trash can is weeping from loneliness. But those coffee grounds can be used for something, by gum!
put the coffee grounds and banana peels in your garden to enrich the soil.
Isn’t it always like this? You finally throw away those W28 skinny jeans because your fat 36 ass will never fit into them again and then, two months later you discover the new super special no-hunger diet that makes you lose enough weight to finally squeeze back into them.
Only that second bit never really happens, it’s just wishful thinking. But it totally could, right?
The moment you throw them away, your appetite will disappear. It’s some cosmic law.
When I was in elementary school, we went to the National Zoo to see the white tigers. I bought a small stuffed animal version.
In junior high, we had to write and perform a skit for Spanish class about going to the zoo. In my group’s skit, the zookeeper left the gate open, leading to an animal escape that was best demonstrated by flinging the stuffed white tiger at a doll.
So I guess what I have to say is: Team Daughter.
Sorry.
NOOOOOOOOOOO!
So.classic. I identify totally.
I think it’s some sort of universal rule that we will instantly need that which we throw away.
When she gets her own garage she can keep whatever you want. For now … “Your Garage, Your Rules”. Please don’t feel guilty for cleaning your daughter’s home.
PS: I killed off some Pokemon in much the same manner.
She’s actually NOT A hoarder, interestingly. She just seems to be cued in on a psychic level to whatever junk has recently left the house. I don’t understand it.
I think this is why I so strongly believe in thrift stores. It seems a couple of times a month I am hauling a bag off to them, and getting a bag in return. It’s a good place for unwanted beanie babies, and a good place to pick up “new” ones if need be.
When I walked into the thrift store to donate, the woman at the counter looked me up and down and said “You’re not bringing in clothes are you?” I don’t think I can go back to that one.
This is pretty much what I was going to say – nothing makes me feel better than to de-clutter and the re-sale shops have EVERYTHING !
I’m waiting for the day when I end up rebuying my own stuff.
The closest I’ve come is coming home with a great pair of shoes and realizing I already owned them. (Shh)
I offered my grown sons one opportunity to save their junk before it hit the trash. They rushed to the garage and tried the save until they realized they had to take it home with them.
The three bins of things that I am actually attached to were my toys from when I was a kid. I saved some of the kids’ toys for them, but I don’t care as much what happens to it.
My kid still looks at me suspiciously if she can’t find a stuffy (that she might have only touched once for about 3 minutes and then discarded, but that she remembers the name of, who gave it to her and what she might like to use it for someday).
Every.single.time.
Someday I’ll find a use for my troll dolls.
I have a jumbo troll doll. I think he keeps away bad guys. Very useful.
She is going to be one Angry Bird when she finds out they’re gone.
She handled the news surprisingly well. Waiting for the backlash.
My parents did this to my Sweet Pickles books. I *might* have gotten a bit upset. And I was 33. So, note to self: hoard everything. Forever.
Not the Sweet Pickles! Yeah, my mom did the same. 😦
Is my purple Princess Diana Beanie Baby worth more than a hacky sack now?
I think it’s safe to go ahead and USE your Princess Di beanie as hacky sack.
If you had cleaned your garage a week earlier & your daughter had asked for Beanie Babies, they would have been gone & she would have coped just fine. The only reason this feels like an excuse is because the “throwing out” & the “request” came so close together. Purge away! You’ll love the freedom from carrying around all that stuff.
I really do love the freedom. I feel so light and airy! And I can dance barefoot in the garage if I want to. And I do.
Terrible timing, you! I have been dying to rid our attic closet of Alice’s old toys and clothes. Now I won’t do it until she’s, well, in high school.
Hi,
Why does that seem to happen, nobody as used an item for years, but the minute you throw it out, they need it! This will always be a mystery. 😀
It starts out with Beanie Babies and then ends with a nest of rats in a giant box of expired nutella crammed on top a towering pile of cabbage patch dolls. Or that’s what A&E Hoarders has led me to believe. TV is never wrong.
My rat says she’s not a fan of Cabbage Patch dolls. But she’ll take the Nutella.
I’m the opposite of a hoarder and I’ve often lived to regret it. Still I keep clearing stuff out. My wife is the opposite and it drives her nuts.
What hurts me the most is when I have to go back out and repurchase the crap that I just threw away.
I agree. I hate that.
Beanie Babies can class up anything, of that I am convinced.
I was thinking of adding a couple to a formal gown.
I’ve replaced the doilies around my apartment with Beanie Babies.
I threw away broken toys, like a plastic Jessie (from Toy Story) with it’s arms and legs snapped off. The very next day my five year old was looking for it. I said “She’s really broken, and you have a whole bunch of Jessie toys…” He looked at me like I was putting the dog to sleep “not TOO broken though, right?” Erasing parts of your kids memory is probably immoral, right?
Not too broken. So there’s a line there? No arms, not too broken. No head, safe to toss? What body part is the essence of who the character is? We need to ask our kids these questions.
I am the opposite of a hoarder. I throw away everything.
I am getting to that point.
This made me laugh so hard. I love the idea of kids pitching Beanie Babies at Prometheus.
I do, too. My kid is weird. I heart her.
Had you kept them she might have never needed them again 🙂
I guarantee she wouldn’t have. It wouldn’t have been so alarming if she had asked for them, say, six months down the road. But NO. 24 hours.
Completely hilarious! I had a box of McDonald’s Happy Meal toys that the boys had given away. I ended up taking them to school and having students use them for a brown bag test (as symbols for items in a few novels). I would never have had such a cool assignment if I had thrown them away! 🙂
LOL You just never know when you might need that odd beanie baby or pet rock. 😉
It is so true. So true. They could save a life one day.
First things first…the picture!! ❤
And I do this to my mom all the time, to the point where she just tells me she threw everything away and half the time I can't tell if she's telling the truth or not! Haha.
It never fails, does it? You toss it, you need it again within a week.
It’s true!